wedding chaos.....

--- cow Star Entry

The baraat was already in โ€œmission full mastiโ€ mode โ€”

One uncle was dancing like his knees were made of jelly that had given up on life.

Aunties were balancing their sarees in one hand, and balancing 10 kilos of gossip in the other.

The DJ was playing โ€œLungi Danceโ€ for the 4th time in 10 minutes because apparently that was his entire playlist.

Suddenlyโ€ฆ the crowd parted like a Bollywood slo-mo scene from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Cow-moo.

And there she wasโ€ฆ SWC โ€” Shaadi Wali Cow.

Wearing a phoolon ka haar so big it looked like she stole half the mandap, and golden sunglasses that reflected the DJ lights like a disco ball.

A drunk baraati stopped mid-bhangra, pointed and said loudly:

โ€œBhai! Groom ki taraf se Katrina Kaif aa gayiโ€ฆ bas thodi moti!โ€

The music stopped.

SWC turned, lowered her glasses, and gave him The Death Stare of Doom.

The man instantly stopped dancing, dropped his glass of nimbu-paani, and started pretending to tie his shoe.

โ€‚โ€“ Dessert Wale Detectives

Raju leaned in, whispering like they were on a spy mission.

โ€œSWCโ€ฆ hum pakde gaye toh?โ€

SWC popped a gulab jamun in her mouth without breaking eye contact with the dessert counter.

โ€œRelax. Weddings are like buffets โ€” confidence se lo, koi kuch nahi bolega. Itโ€™s a โ€˜you snooze, you loseโ€™ world.โ€

They approached the rasgulla section like detectives approaching a crime scene.

And then โ€” plot twist.

Right in the middle of the rasgulla bowlโ€ฆ something shiny glittered.

Raju blinked.

โ€œSWCโ€ฆ yeh tumhare diamond sunglasses hain?โ€

SWC smirked.

โ€œLong story. Involves a halwai, a disco night, and a water tank flood. Youโ€™re not ready.โ€

โ€‚โ€“ Shaadi Ka Villain

Before they could fish out the shades, a tall man in a sherwani appeared.

He had the confidence of a TV serial vamp and the swagger of someone whoโ€™s stolen many samosas before.

And there it was โ€” on his face โ€” SWCโ€™s pink heart-shaped sunglasses.

In one hand, he held a rasgulla like it was a grenade.

SWC narrowed her eyes.

โ€œBhaiโ€ฆ give them back before I moo in Dolby Surround Sound.โ€

Villain: โ€œCatch me first, Cow Queen!โ€

He smirked like a full Bollywood side-villain and bolted โ€” rasgulla bowl in hand.

โ€“ The Great Shaadi Chase

Chaos. Pure chaos.

SWC ran through the dance floor like a cow possessed.

One dhol wala got knocked over and kept drumming while lying flat on his back.

Raju tripped on the brideโ€™s lehenga and apologised 14 times in 3 seconds โ€”

โ€œSorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorryโ€”โ€

The bride just gave him the โ€œI will curse your next seven generationsโ€ look.

The villain leapt over the buffet table, sending biryani into the air like Diwali fireworks.

Two kids started clapping and shouting, โ€œOnce more!โ€

Sensing the drama, the DJ switched to โ€œKala Chashmaโ€ โ€”

Problem? Instead of clearing the way, the baraatis started dancing harder.

SWC shouted mid-run:

โ€œRaju! Left side ja! Cut him off before he eats my rasgullas!โ€

Raju: โ€œWhy do I feel like this is less about sunglasses and more about rasgullas?โ€

SWC: โ€œPriorities, Raju. Priorities.โ€

โ€“ Moo-vement in Style

Finally, they cornered the villain near the groomโ€™s horse.

The horse looked confused but slightly entertained.

Raju dived for the rasgulla bowl like a cricketer saving the last over.

SWC charged forwardโ€ฆ

BONK!

Her head collided lightly with the villainโ€™s stomach.

The villain stumbled backwards into the wedding gift pile โ€” ribbons, ladoos, and a pressure cooker raining down on him.

SWC snatched her pink shades, put them on top of her golden ones, and declared:

โ€œDouble protection. Even UV rays will cry.โ€

She then grabbed four rasgullas straight from the bowl, eating them like a victorious gladiator.

Raju, gasping for breath:

โ€œSWCโ€ฆ you are insane.โ€

SWC: โ€œNo, Raju. Iโ€™m just well-decorated.โ€

Final Scene:

The baraatis lifted SWC on their shoulders, chanting โ€œMoo! Moo! Moo!โ€ like a victory anthem.

The DJ, now fully invested, played โ€œKala Chashmaโ€ on loop for the next 18 minutes.

Somewhere in the background, the groom whispered to the bride,

โ€œWho invited her?โ€

The bride replied, โ€œI think she invited herself " ...

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