Chapter 5

"Hey" Mee ji whispered again, returning suddenly, "do you want to maybe step for a second? You look pale."

I turned to look at her, my voice coming out softer than expected.

"I forgot … I needed to do something."

She blinked.

"Please take care of the event without me. "

Before she could ask anything else, I was already moving – carefully, swiftly toward the exit at the back of the library. I wasn't sure what I was doing, what I was feeling. I just knew I couldn't stay there anymore, not after seeing him, not after realizing that he'd read my book.

............

It has been more than two weeks since I last saw him at the book event.

I went back to my usual days– calm almost uneventful.

Morning spilled into evenings with the same rhythm: a mug of coffee slowly cooling beside me, the hum of my laptop keys, and the soft scratching of my pen on paper when I needed to think outside the screen.

This corner of my apartment has always been my safe haven_ the place where I built an entire world under the name Haneul, known to many but truly seen by none.

Just then, a notification lit up my phone screen. It was from YouTube:

"NEXTDOOR –Inside Our Dorm | Daily Life Vlog"

I clicked it instinctively. I mean, I always watched their videos– especially if it meant I could see even a glimpse of him.

The video opened with the usual chaos– members laughing, teasing each other, snippets of shared meals and messy rooms. They toured each room one by one, showing fans their quirky collections and decor.

Only one room was left.

"Alright, next is Dongmin's room!" one of the members announced, dragging the camera toward a closed door.

My heart skipped.

I sat up straighter.

When the door opened, his space was dimly lit– warm, quiet. A vinyl player was softly spinning something old and jazzy near the window. The curtains danced slightly with the breeze. But what caught my eye.. was the bookshelf.

Lined neatly from end to end, it was filled with different kinds of books.

And then—

The camera zoomed in, just for a second.

And I saw it...

Every collection of my books... even the poetry that's not very popular.

Dongmin (off camera):

"I usually spend my off-time here. It's quiet. I like it that way. I read a lot of books by Haneul."

(pauses, camera shifts)

I stared at the screen.

Blinking. Not breathing.

My ears are ringing, like I'd dunked my head underwater.

My hand was gripping the edge of the table.

I wasn't sure if the trembling was from the coffee I had or from the words he just said. He kept talking, but I couldn't process it anymore.

That means...

He read my books.

He had been reading all my books.

The world outside my window moved normally.

But inside me, everything had shifted.

I don't even remember picking up my keys.

But the next thing I knew, I was standing outside my best friend's apartment —

Thirty minutes from my place,

still half shaking.

I rang the bell,

My heart pounding louder than it should.

What was I going to say?

Would I sound crazy?

But if there was one person in this world I could talk to without filtering a single

thought—

It was her.

My safest person.

The only one who knew I was Haneul.

The door swung open.

She saw the panic in my face even before I said a word.

"Woah, you look like you've seen a ghost. Come in," she said, stepping aside.

I walked in silently, my thoughts still spiraling. Junghwan wasn't around. Thank god. It was just her, and I needed that.

"Sit down, I'll change real quick." she said, already unbuttoning her blazer as she disappeared into her room.

I sank into the couch, pressing my fingers against my temples. The cushions sank beneath me, but the weight in my chest didn't ease.

She came back in an oversized pajama top and fuzzy socks, tying her hair up in a messy bun. She sat across from me, crossed-legged on the armchair, with the quiet attentiveness she always had— like she could see the storm in me before I even opened my mouth.

"Okay", she said gently. "Tell me everything."

And I did.

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