breaking free

I have always wondered what is it that lies beyond death? I hope its nothing .. absolute nothing. i always wish that when we die, we are just gone, gone forever, its convenient to if that happens isn't it? Imagine ur a broken soul who doesn't wanna continue in the marathon of life ..ur just tired of putting up with everyone's shit and when ur own life is f*cked up. U just want to leave and death is the only escape.Its only natural to hope that it is "The End" , "The End" of the movie in which u were the main character, The End to all of ur happiness, sadness, depression,relations, joy , laughter, and problems .

I have always been the side character in everyone else's life. And i am not complaining coz i prefer it that way. Won't it be better to not take risks , just let parents friends and other people guide ur life , so that when it doesn't turns out good u can always just shift the blame from yourself. I might sound strange but its just how i have always been life doesn't excits me much now. Now i have i corporate job , i earn that i can feed myself,i m self sufficient but its just so dull especially considering that is what i wanted to achive.when i was a kid i didn't want to become a doctor aur an astronaut I just wanted to be a person who doesn't have to rely on everybody else to do theit shit .

but what now I am just stuck in a loop of life why should I keep going when I have already achieved what I wanted ? What now? " I need a smoke " i say sitting in my office full of machine disguised as people preety much like my own self..i chuckle to myself at the thought , walking out of my office in the smoking zone i lit up my cigrette. "Even this doesn't hits anymore."

It was cloudy outside . In this city this I prefer over the scorching heat of the Sun I can't imagine how I used to like this with weather but now it only tension of the rain causing all the in leakage in my apartment . I look at my watch " Oh its break time , allready??"

I was standing in the smoking area which is terrace , huh what else did you expect from a lousy company who only 15000 amount for working days workers like corporate slaves daya and night.

A thought crosses my mind , i stand in the railing of the terrace , idk why they didnt fence it well that only makes my task easier. I take a deeo breath full if pollutants of the city , spread my arms like it was finnally my chance to make my decision myself for once .i fell like like the main character now .I am so happy rn i can bearly express it through words. I walk along the edge humming to myself. And there it was , the first rain drop i was waiting for to fall on my face and finnally jump off the building.

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