ñgéí •

01:

❝i'd love to be in love with you enough to write a love song.❞

×××××××

"Smoke a joint with me,"

The commotion downstairs was easily swallowed up by the door that shut and locked behind him. The room was ignited into a mess of warmth as he walked deeper inside, his request the first thing that left his mouth.

Taehyung sighed, "Hoseok, what are you doing here?"

The younger, black haired boy looked up at Hoseok from his position on the living room chair, not bothering to stand up. Not even as Hoseok found his way over to him, eyes wide and shiny with tears, hair dishevelled from running a hand through them many times.

"One joint, Tae. That's all I ask,"

On any other occasion, Taehyung would've been quick to oblige, way too sober and guilty from seeing Hoseok that way. But it was now, and he knew better.

"You know damn well what happens when we're high, Hoseok," Even though it hurt him too, Taehyung refused to break eye contact with Hoseok, wanting the older kid to know he meant business.

"I know, that's why I'm asking. Please," Hoseok was desperate. He hated it. But there was little he could do at this point, he needed it. Needed Tae.

"No, Hoseok. No I will not," Taehyung's resolve did not falter one bit as he stood from the couch and dragged Hoseok to the door.

"Tae, please—"

"I think you should leave, Hoseok." Taehyung spoke stoically, "I'll see you when you're sober,"

The door shut in Hoseok's face and he was once again engulfed in the chaos that went on outside of Taehyung's apartment. His next door neighbour and some other guy were yelling obscenities at the top of their lungs, as if they couldn't just do that inside.

Hoseok did not linger.

His mind, swirling with self depreciating thoughts as was his go to emotion when he was way too high to even function, his feet trudging in front of the other in a zombie-like manner. He paid no mind to his surrounding's as he made his way home under the pouring rain, like clockwork.

It'd been two months since he and Taehyung broke up. One month since their 'ex-sex', as he'd liked to call it, had stopped happening due to Taehyung calling it off, just like he did the breakup. It was beautiful, in a sense that even after they'd broken up and only hung out for sex, Hoseok was content because at the very least, he could be with Taehyung, even if the latter was just using him for his body as he always declared the morning after.

They'd been together for three years.

Taehyung was all he knew.

So Hoseok really couldn't be blamed whenever he came swinging back like a pendulum, high off his mind and begging Taehyung to smoke with him, because he knew that only when Taehyung's mind was jumbled would he **** him again. And Hoseok craved to be fucked by Taehyung. Craved to be called all those sweet names as they both climaxed, craved to hear Taehyung say he loved him even if it was a lie.

Because at least in bed, Hoseok meant something to Taehyung.

Hoseok's house was far apart from Taehyung's, in the more secluded, wealthy part of Seoul as opposed to Taehyung's smoke infested, busy side of town that really brought life to that part of South Korea. And walking the distance, especially in the rain, wasn't exactly a piece of cake. He didn't mind, though. The rain disguised his tears and the walk there, sometimes, gave him the liberty to sober up and regret crawling back to Taehyung like a needy cat.

Sober Hoseok was logical. High him, though.

Hoseok had inherited the place, and a couple of other scattered internationally, after the death of his parent's; celebrity business mogul's, The Jung's, in a plane crash two years ago. As the son, and only child, he had gotten mostly everything, aside the ones that were given to share holders and business partners.

Hoseok, only being seventeen at the time of their death, had entrusted his parent's various companies into the hands of his uncle's, who passed it down to him at the age of eighteen. But being who he was, and knowing little to nothing about business, coming to terms with the fact he'd never input anything useful to his parent's heirloom, Hoseok left the companies, still, in the hands of his uncle's who were willing to hand it back whenever.

He had more than enough money in the bank — his inheritance and the profit from his companies (business was booming), a flurry of houses, cars, jets, whatever you could think the son of Korea's biggest CEOs would have. The one thing he wanted, though, he couldn't have. Taehyung. Love. Happiness. He thought those three words were mutually inclusive.

It was freezing but he could barely feel it. By the time he'd reached his gated community, he was soaked to the bone and his legs felt like jello. But it was good, he was good. He was sober and that was a good outcome. The maids and butler's greeted him upon arrival with the butler even throwing a disapproving look at Hoseok having to walk home in the rain. Mr. Chu had always been a kind man. Hoseok remained polite and jovial, though it was a stress. He knew the importance of maintaining a happy, healthy facade to his workers. Knew the media could ruin him in a breath.

His room was clean. Lonely, but clean. He sighed as he rid himself of his clothes, dried up, changed and fell on his bed, tears that he'd suppressed finally gushing out. Sometimes he hated him, Kim Taehyung. Sometimes he hated him so much he couldn't breathe. Why did he have to go and end it? They were happy one day, then the next Tae was void of emotion claiming they needed a break. From what?

Hoseok hated Taehyung. Hated him with all the strength his broken heart could muster. Hated him until all that could fill his head was hurting him. Jung Hoseok hated Kim Taehyung.

But sometimes, he wished he didn't love him, either.

×××××××

same. but, like, for nutella. x KJ.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***