Chapter 1.

Now my hair is long—just as long as I ever wanted it to be. Every morning, when I look into the mirror, I can barely recognize myself. The version of me that was once scared to do anything. Scared to try something new. The one who couldn't move on. I brush my long hair, put moisturizer on my face, mascara on my lashes, and lipstick on my lips. It’s something I never imagined I’d do in my entire life.

Now, I’m working at CC (COSMOS COSMETICS). I’ve found happiness in this company. The CEO is kind and funny—very friendly with everyone—and always treats her employees equally. She promised I’d be promoted soon and that my salary would increase. What more could make me happy? It felt like a blessing from God, and I worship this company for hiring me. It came into my life when I was clouded by darkness, lost and unsure of where to go after graduation. I am truly happy and grateful. All I can do is work sincerely and hope the best for the company. But sometimes, I wish I could do more—yet I often feel like I’m never enough. Since joining this company, I’ve started liking weekdays more than weekends. It feels like home, and the people there treat me so well.

My house is just 500 meters away from the company, and every morning, I walk there. I see people doing their own things, living their lives, and being happy with their loved ones. But when I see couples with their babies, I feel a twinge of jealousy. I’ve always wanted a baby boy—a son. A son I could raise well and turn into a gentleman every woman would dream of being with. What can I do? I guess fate just doesn’t favor me.

There’s something that always bothers me—the thought of him lingers. I have no feelings for him, but I think about him all the time. It’s like everything I do somehow reminds me of him. Did he really have such a deep impact on me? I ask myself this every single day. It’s been ten freaking years. I should be married by now—and he probably is too. Who knows? He might even have a son or daughter. I never want to suffer like that again. The life I have now is everything I ever needed—to be independent. So, when I think about him, I just consider it a past memory I couldn’t let go of, rather than something regretful about not being able to move on.

“Would I ever go back to him, if he wanted me back?”

I always think about this. And honestly, I’m eager to know the answer too.

“Lissy,” someone called me, while I was lost in my thoughts. I turned around to respond—and it was my co-worker, Zam.

“What’s up, Zam!” I replied.

Zam looked at me with a teasing expression and nudged my shoulder. Is she teasing me? I thought to myself. I could do nothing but laugh and nudge her back.

“You know?” she asked excitedly.

“Know what?” I replied, confused. What was she talking about?

“There’s a company dinner today, and our company is giving us a one-week off!” she squeaked.

A company dinner? I thought to myself. That’s a good thing—but I’m not so sure about the one-week off part. Still, seeing Zam happy, I replied, “WOWWWWW!”

We held hands and jumped around like two excited girls whose parents just agreed to their sleepover plan.

As always, I had finished my share of work. I actually work here as a reporter—reporting on how our sales are going and reviewing client feedback. Since I was done, I went to help the packing team. That’s when I saw Manager Dema. She was also helping out, transferring things. I figured it was a good time to ask about the sudden company dinner and the one-week break.

Manager Dema is as cheerful as our CEO. I heard they’ve been best friends since high school. Isn’t it cool to work with your best friend?

“Manager Dema?” I called politely, even though she’d told me not to be so formal.

She looked at me and furrowed her eyebrows—she was clearly busy, guiding the new staff. I felt guilty for interrupting and was about to walk away when she grabbed my hand.

“What the hell? You playing with me or what, girl?” she said, jokingly. “Tell me what it is!”

“It’s okay, madam. I’ll ask some other time.”

“Are you playing games with me now? I’m even more curious—tell me ASAP!”

I thought she was too busy, but I asked anyway.

“Actually, why are we having a company dinner today? It feels so sudden.”

“Oh!” she exhaled. “I just thought it was time we spent some company money on expensive food,” she said playfully.

My reaction was like, Are you for real?

She laughed and said, “I’m just kidding. Actually, the CEO and I are going abroad for a business workshop, so we thought we’d throw a little party and give everyone a week off.”

“Wow. Congratulations!” I said, shaking hands with her.

She thanked me, winked, and went back to work.

Finally, it was time for the dinner. The food our company ordered was amazing—absolutely delicious. Everyone was eating, drinking, dancing, talking, and getting wasted. I had two glasses of wine, and that was enough for me.

It turned into a chaotic but fun night. I truly enjoyed it. This is what home felt like.

My friend Zam got drunk, so I carried her to her stop and called her boyfriend. He’s actually her high school sweetheart, and they’re getting married soon. I was jealous again.

Her boyfriend came to pick her up. I overheard their conversation.

“Babyyyyy!” Zam greeted him, drunkenly.

“Eww, you stink of alcohol,” he said, scrunching his nose.

“What? Let me kiss you with my stinky mouth,” she said, moving in while he tried to dodge her.

They both laughed and were clearly enjoying the moment. When they noticed me, they waved goodbye and headed home.

It was wholesome to watch their playful relationship. But deep down, I wished I had something like that too. I was so jealous.

It was 10 p.m. I know how risky it is for a girl to walk alone at night, but it felt refreshing and comforting. The wind on my face, the moon, the stars, and the city lights—it was all so beautiful, I couldn’t stop admiring it.

I walked slowly, reminiscing about the times I used to sneak out at night for walks with my friends. The city was quiet.

As I reached the bench park near my house, just 100 meters away, I suddenly heard a cough. It gave me chills. I tried to ignore it, but the coughing got worse. I couldn’t help but check. It was coming from behind the big pipal tree.

A man was sitting there, coughing so hard it sounded like his lungs might burst. I couldn’t see his face—it was too dark.

“Excuse me, mister? Are you okay?” I asked.

But there was no reply.

There was nothing else I could do, so I turned on my flashlight to check. When I did, I saw his back—bruised and bloodied.

Shocked, I rushed to help him up without even thinking.

Who would’ve known?

It was someone I’d been trying so hard to forget.

“Lio?” My eyes widened. “What happened?” I couldn’t think straight.

His eyes widened too when he saw me. I looked into them—those same eyes, that same look. He turned away as soon as he noticed me staring.

“Let me help you,” I offered, reaching out. He refused.

“Faster!” I yelled, almost panicked.

I helped him stand and took him to my house.

Seeing him like that after so many years worried me.

I was overwhelmed with curiosity—how did he end up in such a condition?

Am I not dreaming? I thought to myself. Am I drunk? Am I seeing things?

Why after so many years? Why is he here? Why am I bumping into him now?

If I remember correctly, the last time we met was during our high school fete day. Our class had opened a boba stall—I was the cashier—and I saw him buying a boba from us.

We didn’t exchange a single word. But we both knew what the moment meant, even without speaking.

I still remember how awkward it was. It was hard to even look at him, though I could feel his gaze. He was trying to avoid eye contact just as much as I was.

Especially when his girlfriend walked in from behind.

That was the last time we ever saw each other—and the last time I ever wished to bump into him.

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