I Have BF

Fresh out of the shower, Ira stands in front of the mirror, drying her hair. She glances at the necklace sitting on her dresser.

Ira: "Might as well get my money’s worth."

She wears it, takes a few selfies, and strikes a pose.

Ira: "Wow. My 5K is finally doing something for me."

She tilts her head, staring at the glow.

Ira: "What if this actually works?"

…

Ira: "Pfft. Yeah, right."

She yanks it off and tosses it onto the sofa.

SMACK. It lands perfectly on a cushion.

Ira: "Good night, scam necklace."

She sleeps.

It’s Sunday. Ira stretches, groaning.

Ira: "Wow, a day off. Time to be useless in peace."

Then she remembers—

She has a birthday party to attend.

Ira scrambles to get ready, throwing on a cute but comfy dress. She looks at her jewelry.

Nothing matches.

Ira: "Ugh. Of course."

Her eyes land on the necklace.

Ira: "Well… you cost me 5K. You better make me look rich."

She wears it.

Ira: "Wow. My 5K on my neck actually looks perfect."

Satisfied, she heads out.

At party-

It’s loud. Kids are running everywhere, parents chatting, couples being lovey-dovey.

Ira regrets coming.

Then—

A tiny 4-year-old hurricane crashes into her legs.

Kid (grinning): "SINGLE AUNT! What did you bring for me?!"

Ira: "Cutie, first of all, DON’T call me ‘aunt.’ Second, here—an Elsa doll."

Kid (gasps): "Elsa!"

Ira (smirks): "Yep. Like us, she don’t need a prince."

Kid (proudly): "But I have a boyfriend, Aunt!"

Ira: "WTF. YOU’RE FIVE, BRUH."

Kid: "Mom knows!"

Ira turns to her friend Annie, the kid’s mom.

Ira: "You LET her have a boyfriend?"

Annie (shrugs): "Yeah. What if she ends up single like you? I don’t want her blaming me."

Ira: "…F* you."**

Annie: "Oh, don’t be mad. You’ll find someone someday."

Ira grits her teeth.

Ira: "Actually, I HAVE a boyfriend. We’re getting married soon."

The group of friends stare.

July: "Oh? Really? When do we meet him?"

Ira: "Uhh… he’s busy. I’ll let you know."

She escapes.

Ira faceplants against the taxi window.

Ira: "WHYYYY. WHY AM I LIKE THIS?!"

She groans.

Ira: "Does anyone sell husbands?! Anyone??!"

The taxi driver side-eyes her.

She went to bar.

Ira drowns her sorrows in alcohol.

Ira: "Screw it. Cheers to my invisible fiancé."

She drinks too much.

At midnight, she stumbles home and collapses on the bed, still wearing the necklace.

--

Ira wakes up in a strange place.

Except—

She’s not herself.

She’s a duck.

Ira: "WHAT THE FU—QUACK?!"

A cat approaches her, holding an egg.

Cat (seriously): "Take care of your soulmate."

Ira: "HUH?!"

Suddenly—

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Her alarm rings.

Ira jolts awake.

Ira: "Holy crap. What a WEIRD dream."

She groggily stumbles into the kitchen.

She reaches for eggs—

…

And freezes.

Sitting in the basket is—

The same egg from her dream.

Ira: "…"

Her soul leaves her body.

Ira: "WHAT THE—"

TO BE CONTINUED.

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