We had been separated for a long time, and he had flown to Italy. He wasn’t there for too long before he returned to my country and looked for me. Of course, he said all the right words—“I will change, forgive me.” He had even bought me a silver bracelet as a gift, which was truly sweet of him. Everything seemed good between us again, but some things about him still hadn’t changed.
Time passed, and I began to realize that we were in a toxic relationship. He loved female attention, and I started to understand that I was only truly needed for sex. There was a moment that completely broke my heart—he was doing a live stream as a blogger, and a girl asked him, “When are you flying to Germany?” He casually answered, “Soon.” I was shocked because he had never mentioned anything about it to me.
And of course, we argued. I became toxic too—a person I could no longer recognize. Time passed, and we stopped talking, but deep down, I still hoped he would text me before leaving, that he would say a proper goodbye. But there was nothing.
When the day came for him to leave, I finally realized that he wouldn’t say goodbye. The moment I understood he was already gone, I completely broke down.
All my dreams with him shattered—along with my faith. I had broken it, and not just a little—I had crossed every boundary I once believed in. My entire being collapsed, and in that moment, I finally saw the truth.
I was nothing to him. Just a doll to use when he was bored.
I started wandering the city at night again, walking through the same streets and places where we had once been together. Every step felt like a journey back into memories, and I kept sinking deeper into them.
I kept asking myself—was any of this ever real? Did I really mean nothing to him?
Time without him felt like years. Countless nights were spent crying, yet when I saw that he was happy in Germany, a part of me—if I was honest—felt relieved for him.
But what about me?
I had lost everything—my innocence, my dreams, the essence of who I once was. I was no longer the same innocent Christian girl, Elina.
I started drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes—anything that could numb the pain—because I was completely broken.
I even was go to parties with so called fake friends because I was feeling lonely
But that started to change when I found a job at the hospital and began working long hour shifts, yes I was still thinking about him but I realised I didn’t miss him at all but I missed the memories.
For a long time, I watched him online, looking at our old pictures, reminiscing about the past. But then came the moment when I deleted everything connected to him even though I still had feelings for him .
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Updated 5 Episodes
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