Love

Hey,

It's been a while since I wrote to you. I'm tired. Really tired of this all. Everyday, every single hour I give Jenna so much love. But she just doesn't understand. I want her to know me, but she says she wants to go away. Go away where? Like where do you want to go away? Where will you go? I don't know. This feels fucking tiring. I'm tired of telling her how much I liver her, but she just doesn't want to believe. She is so fucking LOVELY!!!! I hate it. I want to hold her and hug her. And keep her close. So close that we can never separate. So fucking closeee!! But she doesn't want to. And I can't do it if she doesn't want it. I can't force her. It'd be wrong. And I don't wanna do wrong.

I love her so much. But she refuses to look at me. I took her to the garden the day before. But she didn't even look at me. I'll plant some flowers. And it'll bring some butterflies. Jenna loves butterflies. I think. Jennie did. So she must too. Right? I love seeing her smile. But she no longer smiles. I guess I have to try harder. Maybe buy her a dress. Or some makeup. But I can't take her to the store. Maybe I'll shop online. I wonder if she likes online stuff. But I don't know her size. Maybe she'll let me measure her. Maybe that way we can get a bit closer. I want to wrap my hands around her. I love her so much. I'm going fucking crazy. I want to breathe her in. Y'know like those goddamn poets of the 1800s. I fucking wanna do so much. My body feels like it's burning. But I can't. I can't. I really can't do anything. Not until she let's me. Until then I'll wait. Until then I'll keep her tied.

You must wonder why I'm keeping her tied. It's not like she will flee. You know she can't. Not anymore. I guess I was too harsh before, tying her legs like that. They are so swollen and bruised. It must hurt so much. It makes me wanna cry. I didn't want to do it. But she was trying to run away, so I did that. I know it was a mistake. A sin. And I won't do it again. I'm repenting. And I want to compensate. But she doesn't talk to me anymore. Maybe she's angry. Because I hurt her. I want to say sorry. I did say sorry. But she won't even look at me. I wanna hold her and fucking kiss some sense into her. Like those fucking men. But I can't.

I wonder how I can do what I want to do. How she'd let me do it. I cut my hair. It's short now. I look kinda manly. I want to kiss her. Hold her hand and touch my forehead against hers. I want her to be with me. In my arms. I'm fucking crazy. No. I'm not crazy. I'm just a bit tired. Maybe frustrated even. I should just take some rest. I'll love her lots later. I'll write to you later, okay. Yeah, I'm just stressed. I should go now. Bye.

- Minnie.

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