Friendly Civilization

It wasn’t long before she spotted smoke.

A campfire.

Risa’s face lit up. “YES! People!”

Finally! Civilization! Maybe they had food! Maybe they had beds! Maybe they had literally anything besides weird mushrooms and rocks, which had been her diet and furniture for the last however-many hours.

She sprinted toward the glow of the fire—

Then skidded to a dead stop.

Her brain took a second to process what she was seeing.

Armed. Armored. Very much NOT friendly-looking.

Bandits.

Risa watched in horror as they sat around the fire, laughing, sharpening weapons, and counting stolen goods. One guy was casually gnawing on a roasted chicken leg like he was some medieval fantasy villain. Another was polishing a dagger with the precision of someone who *really* enjoyed stabbing.

Her stomach dropped.

“Oh. Of course. Because why would I ever find a NICE village?” she muttered. “Why would there ever be a normal, peaceful town just hanging out in the woods, offering free snacks and directions?”

She slowly stepped backward, brain scrambling for a plan.

Alright. New objective: Leave. Immediately.

She carefully lifted her foot—

And stepped directly on a twig.

*SNAP.*

Risa froze.

The nearest bandit whipped his head around. Their eyes met.

Risa internally screamed.

The bandit squinted. “Oi. Who’s there?”

*PANIC MODE ACTIVATED.*

Without thinking, Risa threw her hands up and shouted—

“HELLO, FELLOW CRIMINALS.”

Silence.

The bandits stared.

Risa’s soul fully left her body.

*What. What did I just say.*

Her brain helpfully played back the last two seconds like a mocking parrot:

"HELLO, FELLOW CRIMINALS."

The bandits exchanged looks.

One of them frowned. “You’re a criminal?”

Risa, still panicking: “YES. ABSOLUTELY. BIGGEST CRIMINAL. HUGE FAN OF… uh… theft.”

The bandit narrowed his eyes. “You don’t look like a bandit.”

Risa: “That’s because I’m undercover.”

Another long silence.

Then, to her absolute horror, one of them smirked.

“Well, well. Maybe we got a new recruit.”

Risa internally screamed.

--

Risa was **99% sure** she had made a terrible mistake.

(1% of her was holding out hope that maybe—*maybe*—these were the kind of friendly, misunderstood bandits who stole from the rich and donated to orphanages.)

The bandits eyed her like a particularly suspicious piece of meat, but instead of immediately stabbing her, they started grinning.

The biggest, burliest one leaned forward. "Undercover, huh? Then you won’t mind proving yourself."

Risa forced a nervous laugh. "Oh, of course! Love proving myself. What, uh... what exactly are we talking about here?"

The bandits exchanged looks.

A guy with way too many knives strapped to his belt smirked. "Simple. You steal something."

Risa blinked. "Oh. Right. Stealing. Because I’m a criminal. That makes total sense."

The big guy crossed his arms. "There’s a merchant caravan coming through the woods at dawn. You take something from them, and we’ll know you’re one of us."

Risa’s brain went into overdrive.

**Option one:** Run for her life and get hunted down. Not ideal.

**Option two:** Actually rob someone. Also not ideal.

**Option three:** Fake it until she figured out a way to escape.

She forced what she hoped was a confident nod. "Alright. Consider it stolen."

The bandits cheered.

Risa screamed internally.

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