chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Emperor Can Kiss My Ass

If someone had asked Lan Xia how her day was going, she would have answered with one word: Shit.

After getting dragged through the palace like a fucking criminal, she was now locked inside some fancy-ass room, pacing back and forth like a caged animal.

"Son of a bitch," she muttered, kicking the wooden door. "Let me out, you medieval motherfuckers!"

No response.

The guards outside probably thought they were too important to answer her, or maybe they just didn’t give a shit. Either way, she was about to lose her mind.

"This is bullshit!" she shouted. "I didn’t ask to be here! I have a life, you assholes! I have a phone bill to pay! I have shit to do!"

She threw herself onto the ridiculously soft bed, screaming into the silk pillows like a pissed-off teenager. If she had to stay here, at least she’d make everyone else suffer with her.

Just as she was about to start kicking the furniture for fun, the door creaked open.

A small, nervous-looking maid peeked in. "Miss Lan… His Majesty has summoned you."

Xia sat up, glaring. "Summoned? I ain’t a fucking dog."

The maid paled. "P-please don’t say such things! His Majesty—"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. He’s a big scary man with power. Whoop-de-fucking-doo," Xia grumbled, shoving herself off the bed. "Fine, let’s go see His Royal Pain-in-the-Ass."

The maid looked like she wanted to cry, but she didn’t say anything. Smart girl.

Xia was led through the massive palace, her eyes widening at how ridiculously extra everything was.

Gold pillars? Check.

Silk carpets? Check.

A bunch of servants bowing every five seconds? Double check.

"Jesus, this place is over the top," Xia muttered. "Who the hell needs this much space? You could fit a whole-ass football stadium in here."

The maid looked horrified. "Football… stadium?"

"Never mind." Xia sighed.

Finally, they reached a massive hall where Mr. Emperor Himself sat on a golden throne, looking smug as hell.

"Lan Xia," he said smoothly. "You kept me waiting."

Xia snorted. "Yeah? Well, I didn’t exactly come here by choice, Your Majesty."

His eyebrow twitched, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to strangle her or laugh. "Do you know why I called you here?"

"To apologize for kidnapping me?"

His lips curled into something that almost looked like amusement. "No. I have summoned you to discuss your… situation."

"Oh, now you wanna talk about it?" Xia scoffed. "Not when I was screaming my lungs out in that room?"

The emperor tilted his head. "Did you think throwing a tantrum would make me let you go?"

Xia narrowed her eyes. "Did you think locking me up like a damn prisoner would make me obedient?"

Silence.

The courtiers around them looked like they were about to pass out from shock. No one ever spoke to the emperor like that.

Finally, the emperor smirked. "You are an unusual woman, Lan Xia."

"And you’re an arrogant prick," she shot back. "Glad we’re on the same page."

Some old dude in the background choked on air.

The emperor leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. "Tell me… why should I believe you’re from the future?"

Xia groaned. "Oh my god, not this again. Do you think I chose to be here? If I had a time machine, I’d be stuffing my face with instant noodles and watching Netflix right now."

"Net… flix?"

"Forget it. The point is, I don’t belong here, and I wanna go home."

The emperor studied her like she was a puzzle he couldn’t solve. It was fucking annoying.

"You are quite troublesome," he finally said.

"And you’re fucking impossible."

His eyes glinted with something she didn’t like interest.

Shit.

"You will stay here until I decide what to do with you," he announced.

"WHAT?! Are you serious?" Xia threw up her hands. "What the fuck am I supposed to do here? Sing and dance for your entertainment?"

He smirked. "I doubt anyone would enjoy that."

Xia gasped. "Did you just fucking insult me?"

The emperor stood up, towering over her. "You will learn to respect me, Lan Xia."