The door opens to an abyss.
There’s no color, no light, no promise of anything but horror
on the other side. No words. No direction. Just an open door
that means the same thing every time.
Cellmate has questions.
“What the hell?” He looks from me to the illusion of escape.
“They’re letting us out?”
They’ll never let us out. “It’s time to shower.”
“Shower?” His voice loses inflection but it’s still threaded
with curiosity.
“We don’t have much time,” I tell him. “We have to hurry.”
“Wait, what?” He reaches for my arm but I pull away.
“But there’s no light—we can’t even see where we’re going——”
“Quickly.” I focus my eyes on the floor. “Take the hem of
my shirt.”
“What are you talking about—”
An alarm sounds in the distance. A buzzing hums closer by
the second. Soon the entire cell is vibrating with the warning
and the door is slipping back into place. I grab his shirt and
pull him into the blackness beside me. “Don’t. Say. Anything.”
“Bu—”
“Nothing,” I hiss. I tug on his shirt and command him to
follow me as I feel my way through the maze of the mental
institution. It’s a home, a center for troubled youth, for
neglected children from broken families, a safe house for the
psychologically disturbed. It’s a prison. They feed us nothing
and our eyes never see each other except in the rare bursts of
light that steal their way through cracks of glass they pretend
are windows. Nights are punctured by screams and heaving
sobs, wails and tortured cries, the sounds of flesh and bone
breaking by force or choice I’ll never know. I spent the first 3 months in the company of my own stench. No one ever told
me where the bathrooms and showers were located. No one
ever told me how the system worked. No one speaks to you
unless they’re delivering bad news. No one touches you ever
at all. Boys and girls never find each other.
Never but yesterday.
It can’t be coincidence.
My eyes begin to readjust in the artificial cloak of night. My
fingers feel their way through the rough corridors, and
Cellmate doesn’t say a word. I’m almost proud of him. He’s
nearly a foot taller than me, his body hard and solid with the
muscle and strength of someone close to my age. The world
has not yet broken him. Such freedom in ignorance.
“Wha—”
I tug on his shirt a little harder to keep him from speaking.
We’ve not yet cleared the corridors. I feel oddly protective of
him, this person who could probably break me with 2 fingers.
He doesn’t realize how his ignorance makes him vulnerable.
He doesn’t realize that they might kill him for no reason at all.
I’ve decided not to be afraid of him. I’ve decided his actions
are more immature than genuinely threatening. He looks so
familiar so familiar so familiar to me. I once knew a boy with
the same blue eyes and my memories won’t let me hate him.
Perhaps I’d like a friend.
6 more feet until the wall goes from rough to smooth and
then we make a right. 2 feet of empty space before we reach a
wooden door with a broken handle and a handful of splinters.
3 heartbeats to make certain we’re alone. 1 foot forward to
edge the door inward. 1 soft creak and the crack widens to
reveal nothing but what I imagine this space to look like. “This
way,” I whisper.
I tug him toward the row of showers and scavenge the floor
for any bits of soap lodged in the drain. I find 2 pieces, one
twice as big as the other. “Open your hand,” I tell the darkness.
“It’s slimy. But don’t drop it. There isn’t much soap and we
got lucky today.”
He says nothing for a few seconds and I begin to worry.
“Are you still there?” I wonder if this was the trap. If this
was the plan. If perhaps he was sent to kill me under the cover
of darkness in this small space. I never really knew what they
were going to do to me in the asylum, I never knew if they
thought locking me up would be good enough but I always
thought they might kill me. It always seemed like a viable
option.
I can’t say I wouldn’t deserve it.
But I’m in here for something I never meant to do and no
one seems to care that it was an accident.
My parents never tried to help me.
I hear no showers running, and my heart stops in place. This
particular room is rarely full, but there are usually others, if
only 1 or 2. I’ve come to realize that the asylum’s residents are
either legitimately insane and can’t find their way to the
showers, or they simply don’t care.
I swallow hard.
“What’s your name?” His voice splits the air and my stream
of consciousness in one movement. I can feel him breathing
much closer than he was before. My heart is racing, and I don’t
know why, but I can’t control it. “Why won’t you tell me your
name?”
“Is your hand open?” I ask, my mouth dry, my voice hoarse.
He inches forward, and I’m almost scared to breathe. His
fingers graze the starchy fabric of the only outfit I’ll ever own, and I manage to exhale. As long as he’s not touching my skin.
As long as he’s not touching my skin. As long as he’s not
touching my skin. This seems to be the secret.
My thin T-shirt has been washed in the harsh water of this
building so many times it feels like a burlap sack against my
skin. I drop the bigger piece of soap into his hand and tiptoe
backward. “I’m going to turn the shower on for you,” I
explain, anxious not to raise my voice lest others should hear
me.
“What do I do with my clothes?” His body is still too close
to mine.
I blink 1,000 times in the blackness. “You have to take them
off.”
He laughs something that sounds like an amused breath.
“No, I know. I meant what do I do with them while I shower?”
“Try not to get them wet.”
He takes a deep breath. “How much time do we have?”
“Two minutes.”
“Jesus, why didn’t you say somethi—”
I turn on his shower at the same time I turn on my own and
his complaints drown under the broken bullets of the barely
functioning spigots.
My movements are mechanical. I’ve done this so many
times I’ve already memorized the most efficient methods of
scrubbing, rinsing, and rationing soap for my body as well as
my hair. There are no towels, so the trick is trying not to soak
any part of your body with too much water. If you do you’ll
never dry properly and you’ll spend the next week nearly
dying of pneumonia. I would know.
In exactly 90 seconds I’ve wrung my hair and I’m slipping
back into my tattered outfit. My tennis shoes are the only
things I own that are still in fairly good condition. We don’t do
much walking around here.
Cellmate follows suit almost immediately. I’m pleased that
he learns quickly.
“Take the hem of my shirt,” I instruct him. “We have to
hurry.”
His fingers skim the small of my back for a slow moment
and I have to bite my lip to stifle the intensity. I nearly stop in
place. No one ever puts their hands anywhere near my body.
I have to hurry forward so his fingers will fall back. He
stumbles to catch up.
When we’re finally trapped in the familiar 4 walls of
claustrophobia, Cellmate won’t stop staring at me.
I curl into myself in the corner. He still has my bed, my
blanket, my pillow. I forgive him his ignorance, but perhaps
it’s too soon to be friends. Perhaps I was too hasty in helping
him. Perhaps he really is only here to make me miserable. But
if I don’t stay warm I will get sick. My hair is too wet, and the
blanket I usually wrap it in is still on his side of the room.
Maybe I’m still afraid of him.
I breathe in too sharply, look up too quickly in the dull light
of the day. Cellmate has draped 2 blankets over my shoulders.
1 mine.
1 his.
“I’m sorry I’m such an asshole,” he whispers to the wall. He
doesn’t touch me and I’m disappointed happy he doesn’t. I
wish he would. He shouldn’t. No one should ever touch me.
“I’m Adam,” he says slowly. He backs away from me until
he’s cleared the room. He uses one hand to push my bed frame
back to my side of the space.
Adam.
Such a nice name. Cellmate has a nice name.
It’s a name I’ve always liked, but I can’t remember why.
I waste no time climbing onto the barely concealed springs
of my mattress, and I’m so exhausted I can hardly feel the
metal coils threatening to puncture my skin.
I haven’t slept in more than 24 hours. Adam is a nice name
is the only thing I can think of before exhaustion cripples my
body.
I noticed one thing.....and that is......NOVELS TAKE LONGER PERIOD TO GET THE GREEN CARD THAN CHAT STORIES!!!!.....UGHHHH
Well bye then
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Updated 51 Episodes
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