I'm a nationally accredited poet
My voice has served as the inspiration
To so many I've been told
time and time again That it's time
I start talking about the pain
I've always been told
If I'm going to talk about the hurt
I must then explain
I must then give it the benefit of the doubt
Let the vowels of my neglect
Sit and linger and Macerate the back of my mouth
If I'm going to tell you about The wounds
I must poke and proud them
Rip them open all over again
How the hell else could you possibly understand
Right?
if I'm being honest When I tell you
"I am over it"
When I tell you
"I have healed"
When I say
"Im ok now"
That does not mean
I want to talk about it Because sometimes
I don't want to be an example Of someone strong
I just wanna be someone
Sometimes I can't tell you
What it felt like
Because I don't remember
And I won't unbury that body For some story
Just because you wanna know Why
I will always pick up the phone Sometimes
I can't tell you Because I don't fucking want any cries
Because I'm sick of talking about it
Because if you really cared about me
You wouldn't ask me
To dissect myself
For the soul purpose
Of your understanding Of a body that isn't yours
I won't talk about it
Because I shouldn't have to
I don't wanna picture it
I can't look at it
If I think about it too hard Sometimes I can still smell the house
I can't still feel the floorboards
Because I don't wanna cry in front of you Because sometimes
I don't wanna tell my mom
I don't want to call her
All broken bird
And knotted threat Sometimes
I don't want
to make her pick me up
Because she will try to crochet
This spider Web heart back together again
And I don't know how
That I can see
That she's weaving from her own body
Sometimes I can't talk about it
Because it's in the room with us
Sometimes
I just wanna write a poem
About how pretty the sun is
I just wanna tell you about it
I just want to show you
I just
Don't want you to ask me
To peel it like an orange
Throw its armor in the bin And watch it rot
Under the light
Of a microscope
Sometimes I don't wanna talk at all But most of the time
It's just none of your business
Sometimes
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