Hurt

It's hurting when your insecurities comes and the person you want and trust is making fun of you. You are confident before but after only one comment you can't be the same... It's just sad that no one can understand you even if you do your best no one is there to support you. They just show you your weakness you can't even tell them that it's hurt. Even if you tell them they will never understand you and blame you for being insensitive. What about me what about my pain what about my hard work what about my thoughts. No one can understand me not even my parents.

The person who understand me I can't go back to him because it's his peak time to do or die if I go back he again come back in loop where I already know that we have no future together I can't pull him in my boring life just because I need someone. How bad my life is gonna I don't know. Only one person who understands me better is far away from my thoughts. I know he will chose me again just one simple "help me" msg needed. But I know there's nothing much he can do he is just gonna sad and tensed. I can't give him what he deserve what he want.

I always do my best. They put me in competition by saying try your best but I never get any award of my good deed, Hard work I try my best and get the best out of it but still they never give me what I deserve. The one who is behind me in the competition is enjoying his/her life better. I just see and tear escaped I can't be frustrated over it just because the situation are tight they can't afford.

Everyone who admire me want to see me in better position but the cage hold me back. They who already suffering didn't want me to suffer the same they motivate me to do the best and do something so I can't share the same fate but still I can't even choose my future.

I don't know what to do when I don't have any word to explain the fucking shit. I show my frustration I show My anger but I never get why what happen tell us instead i got what's your problem, it's your mistake, fucking stop your act. Want someone who ask me what happen who give me time and understand what really happen inside and out.

I have very hard time to explain the thing which piss me off I can't explain my thoughts I can't explain my feelings my emotions it's always trapped inside me. Even if I want to tell someone what's my real problem is u suddenly stop just before a second I change the subject because I'm croward I can't fight with my insecurities Instead of fighting I ignore the whole topic.

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