Tears for Strangers

“how could I cry for a man I have never met?”

It was just a random afternoon hanging out with friends chatting about how boring life is until suddenly one of my friends suggested downloading a “friendship app” curious about the app and wanting to escape the boredom we downloaded, not knowing about anything we followed the lead of our friend.

As we scrolled through profiles of each person we kept on looking for someone we like, after a while we came across this guy named Elixir. He was good looking and only had one picture on his profile, with nothing to lose. My friend encouraged me to chat.

Not knowing what to say I asked her for advice and she replied with “just anything you want” so we brainstormed some ideas until we finally came up with a funny one. (shhh secret)

It was practice that time so our trainor asked us to return to the field after the break. Once I came back to the room and checked my phone, I saw something that made my heart skip so fast…

“A RESPONSE?!?!” I screamed Inside my head. How could a literal stranger respond to another stranger, I thought we were training kids to avoid strangers?

Panicking, I frantically asked my friend what I should say and she recommended replies.

Ever since that day we slowly got to know each other and chatted from time to time, and suddenly friends turned to having crushes on each other..

It was a boring day and as usual we were chatting and suddenly he asked me “do you have a crush on someone?” and I replied with “yeah cause life seems to be kind of boring now, how about you?” and he replied with “same cause it’s also starting to get boring”

After a few days of that conversation he suddenly kept chatting repeating my name, kind of hesitating to say something, as that went on my heart was beating so fast that I almost couldn’t contain it, because I knew what was going to happen next and finally…

He confessed that he liked me, not knowing what to do. I also said that I also liked him too. I remember that day so vividly because I thought that day was considered as one of the happiest days of my life. It was my first time being liked back and it felt so special.

On that day I kept on smiling while I was arranging the plates and cleaning up

That’s how friends turned to lovers??

At first I never thought that it would be hard as it was my first time in things like this so I thought it was just something like those I’ve read out of novels, but reality sucks doesn’t it?

It was hard to trust a person whom you’ve never met before and especially since both of your only means of contact was chatting since you both lived very far away from each other. It was especially hard since most of his friends were girls…

I was always conscious about it since I had known some of his friends, but we weren’t close. I would just see their profiles from a post that they tagged him on, and as I slowly saw them I felt more insecure. They were so pretty and what about me??

And as it got longer the only thing he would talk about was his games with his friends including the girls I felt more insecure… not knowing what to do I just go with the flow until I finally had enough and decided I was just hurting myself by holding on so I decided to let go

I ended things with him…

I was sad at the fact that he accepted it so easily, was it so hard to at least beg me to stay? but realizing it now it was probably for the best. I would’ve just continued hurting myself if that went on….

I was so sad about everything that happened even though I was the one that ended it…

The saddest part about it was that just after a few days of ending it he was now flexing his girlfriend and since then I questioned myself “what was I then? just a time passer? JUST AN ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOU??”

And that’s when I asked myself “how could I cry for a man I’ve never met?” funny isn’t it… I’ve never even met him, yet I spent days locked up in my room wondering where it all went wrong, while he’s out there already flexing his girlfriend.

This was never meant to be a hate for him. it’s been two years?? (idk really) since then and I can say that I’ve finally moved on.

Moving on is not about forgetting someone, it's about thinking of them again and not feeling anything at all. Cause how could you forget about someone who was once a part of your life, that’s not moving on. That’s forgetting.

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