Ch 4 the cost of happiness

Sienna Hart lay still on the hospital bed, her body a battleground of both healing and torment. The anaesthetic had worn off, and the pain hit her like a tidal wave, crashing through every nerve and joint. Her breath came in shallow, uneven gasps, and she couldn’t find the strength to open her eyes. But the pain wasn’t just physical. It was emotional, gnawing at the edges of her soul, dragging her back to a time when her world had been full of possibilities—when everything had felt within her control.

Why did I have to fight so hard for happiness? she thought, her mind swirling with confusion and a sense of betrayal. Emotions were supposed to be free. Love, trust, joy—those should’ve been the things that came without cost. But Sienna had learned the hard way that even the simplest joys had their price. The price had been steep, and she had been the one to pay it.

It was all so much clearer now, lying here in the sterile, white hospital room, surrounded by the beeping machines and the scent of antiseptic. The agony in her chest had nothing to do with her body anymore. It was the ache of knowing that the life she had so carefully constructed had crumbled into nothingness.

And it had all started with him.

Athens.

The sun had just begun to set, casting a warm glow over the city that had once felt so familiar, so full of promise. Sienna had been in her element, walking through the streets with her camera in hand, capturing moments and faces, just like any other day. But that day had been different. That day, her path had crossed with his.

Ronan Barrett.

She had seen him from a distance first—standing in his police uniform, tall and imposing against the backdrop of the ancient city. His broad shoulders, his sharp jawline, and those eyes—those intense blue-grey eyes that seemed to pierce straight through her. It was as if the whole world had stopped in that moment, and all she could do was watch him.

6’5”. He was the tallest man she’d ever seen. He stood out in a crowd, even without trying. His dark hair, slightly tousled from the breeze, and his tan skin, a perfect balance between light and dark, made him look like someone carved out of marble—an almost too perfect statue in the heart of a city filled with them.

Sienna had felt a strange throb in her chest, something she couldn’t explain. It was a momentary heartbeat, like the echo of a life she hadn’t yet lived, something she had been waiting for but had never known how to name.

Her fingers tightened around her camera. She was drawn to him, even though she didn’t understand why.

The next thing she knew, she had walked toward him, unable to resist the pull. She had never been one to be intimidated by anyone, but there was something in his presence that made her heart race, that made her feel both drawn to him and scared of what she might find if she got too close.

“Excuse me,” she had said, her voice smooth, betraying none of the nervousness she felt. “I couldn’t help but notice you. You look like someone who belongs here, like one of those statues in the square—strong, unmoving.”

His lips had parted slightly in surprise, but he quickly recovered, his gaze steady. “I’m just doing my job,” he replied, his voice a little gruff but with an edge that hinted at something more. Something guarded.

“I’m not a tourist,” she had replied, unable to keep the smile from tugging at her lips. “I’m a photographer. Capturing the stories of people in the city—the ones that no one notices.”

Ronan had studied her for a moment, his eyes sharp as though weighing her words carefully. There was an intensity in them that she wasn’t used to—like he could see right through her. Most people saw Sienna Hart as just another pretty face behind a camera. But Ronan, he saw more than that.

“You don’t seem like a tourist,” he said, and there was a strange softness in his tone that contradicted his hardened exterior. “You’re different.”

Sienna felt a flutter in her chest at his words. It wasn’t the compliment that caught her off guard, but the way he said it—like he was searching for the truth beneath her words, like he could tell there was something deeper about her, something that no one else took the time to see.

She hadn’t been ready for that. Not from him.

“I suppose I’m just here to capture life as it is,” she said, taking a step closer, feeling the magnetic pull between them growing stronger. “There’s so much beauty in this city, but people don’t always stop to see it.”

Ronan didn’t reply immediately. He just looked at her with those piercing eyes, studying her, as if he could read everything in her soul.

But instead of pushing further, he took a step back, his gaze still fixed on her. “I’m sorry,” he said, almost too quickly, “but I have to go. Duty calls.”

His words stung more than she cared to admit. It wasn’t the rejection, but the abruptness with which he had walked away. She had expected him to ask her more, to say something to keep her here, to show some interest. But no. He had turned and walked away, leaving her standing in the street, the warmth of the sun fading behind him.

It felt like a sudden emptiness, like a door had slammed shut before she had even had the chance to step through.

Back to the present.

Sienna’s eyelids fluttered, her breath shallow and ragged, still caught in the haze of her past. The memory of him—the feel of his presence, the sound of his voice, the way his eyes had held her—was still so vivid. And yet, she couldn’t understand why she was still clinging to it. Why, after everything, she couldn’t let him go.

Was it because he had been the first person to make her feel like she wasn’t invisible? Was it because she had seen something in him that no one else had? Or was it simply because she had spent her whole life chasing something she could never have—something that was just out of reach, like a photograph frozen in time?

But then, as her thoughts swirled, the pain in her body became almost too much to bear. She let out a soft groan, but kept her eyes shut tightly, not wanting to face the world around her, not yet.

She wanted to escape, to lose herself in the memories of a time when things had made sense, even if only for a moment.

But what was the cost of all this?

Why did I have to struggle so hard just to be happy? she thought bitterly. I gave everything—my heart, my soul, my trust—and still, it wasn’t enough. She had been forced into a marriage, trapped by her own desires, her own inability to trust. She had captured the world through her lens, but when it came to capturing the heart, she had failed miserably.

The more she thought about it, the clearer it became. She had been too focused on the surface of things, too determined to create the perfect picture of a life she had never truly known. Happiness was supposed to be free, but for people like her, it came with a price tag. And she had been paying that price—paying it every day of her life, even before she had met Ronan.

But maybe… maybe that was the lesson. Maybe she had to learn that happiness, love, and peace didn’t come without struggle. They didn’t come without sacrifice.

And now, as the darkness crept in around her, Sienna finally understood. She had to be the one to make peace with herself.

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