Married Life

[Axel: twenty-six years old; married]

"Mom!" I wave to my mother that's standing by the entrance of the judge's courthouse. "Only you? Where's dad?"

"Axel." She steps close and glances at Jessie.

"Mom, this is Jessie Samuel. Jess, my mom, Kylie Webber."

"Hello, Mrs. Webber. It's nice to meet you.”

"Oh, it's Bailey, Jessie. Kylie Bailey. Nice to meet you, too." Mom glances at my frown while shaking hands with Jessie who's also looking confused. "Um..." She clears her throat and clips her hair behind her ear. "Me and Louise are divorced, Axel."

"What?"

"Oh, but let's not talk about it right now. Today, both of you are getting married. So this should be a day for celebration."

"I'm so sorry." Jessie says, seemingly out of words

"Are you alright?" I ask, worried and frowning.

"I will be, Axel. I will be." She nods and gestures in front of us when the judge finally arrives.

When I visit Jessie in Sitka, we were married by a pastor upon the insistence of her family. They're warm and very accommodating. They, of course, didn't know that our union is fake. Jessie didn't want to tell them anymore in case there's going to be someone to investigate about her.

That's why today is already a repeat wedding. We just take off our wedding bands and put it on to each other again as we spoke our vows. Even our kiss is just a perfunctory peck on the cheek. Mom takes us into a restaurant afterwards and gets to know Jessie over lunch although I can sense that her mind's wandering off.

I didn't want to take up much of her time, so I eventually end the lunch, skipping dessert and bade our goodbyes to her. She mentioned Louise arranged a house for her so I just promised to visit her one of these days for a longer chat.

I don't believe they have a problem because they're even eyeing each other with hearts during Christmas Eve. I have a feeling that what happened between Annalouie and me that night pushed them into this decision. This must be what dad promised me which won't happen again.

I wince in guilt. I cost my mom her happiness. But I can't do anything about it. What happened has happened. I don't feel anything particular about their divorce. Just sad. But it's also a good riddance. At least, I don't have anything to do with that family anymore. I just want to forget. I want to heal.

I am a Chemist now, a professional young adult that has a stable, good paying job. I have my own place, although that was arranged by Louise Webber. But with my money right now, I can afford myself another nest if Louise wishes to take it back from me, which I doubt he would.

[Axel: twenty-seven years old; unhappy husband]

"Hey, guess what!" Jessie, who's standing behind the couch, leans over to speak near my ear, annoying the hell outta me. "I met someone so handsome yesterday. I can't believe my luck. I think he might've fallen in love at first sight with me."

I don't react and just continue watching the news. Jessie's always in love with a different man every week. Nothing new about it. Seeing that I'm ignoring her, she doesn't continue anymore and watches the TV with me instead.

"Your dad sure gets more achievement every year. Webber has become today's standard of success in medicine." She comments at the news of Louise Webber going to Asian tour to introduce a new and advanced medical technology.

"Ex-dad, Jessie." I correct and sip from my beer.

"It's just so sad. I didn't get to be a Webber myself."

I arch a brow at her. "You stupid? I'm not even a Webber to begin with. Even if my parents didn't divorce, you'd still be a Bailey."

“I know but to think I'd be part of that family. So famous!" She rounds the couch and sits on it beside me. “Why didn't Dr. Webber adopt you, anyway?"

"He wanted to. Mom just didn't want it."

In retrospect, it's a good thing I didn't become a Webber. Now that they're divorced, I never had to go through the hassle of changing names once again.

"And why didn't you join the Webber's medical research team?"

"Louise invited me in but I want to prove to myself that I can make it on my own without using his name."

"Yeah right, ego Everest." Jessie says drily. “Youre a high achiever, Axel. I don't know if you're aware of this but wherever you go, you're bound to succeed. You're too focused and ambitious. Just wish you have that same passion when it comes to love though."

"Shut up!" I growl and scowl. "Love is not something to be achieved."

"What then? Something to be waited for like fate? Or is it to be earned and worked hard for like money?"

Ring. Ring. Ring. I ignore the buzzing of my phone. Me and Jessie don't answer calls during our days off. We hate it when the seniors have pending works and calling us for help. But during the time for recognition, they didn't even remember us. Greedy scums!

"It's a two-way street, Jessie. A give and take.”

"Oh, your kind of love is conditional. They say love even if it's not reciprocated. Love even if it hurts. Love more until it hurts no more. Where did I read that line? Pretty poetic, huh?”

“Who the f*ck told you that bull? What's the point of loving if it's not reciprocated? How can you sustain yourself without receiving sh*t in return? Crap like that are told by hypocrites! Think about it. It's like pouring sh*t on a glass that's standing upside down. How are you gonna drink that sh*t up if it can't be filled up? Same as that motherf*cking love. What's the point of pouring your goddamn heart out if it doesn't want to f*cking receive sh*t? Waste as f*ck!”

"Whoa! Those who experienced it truly have wisdom to share." Jessie scoots closer to me and leans her head to my shoulder. "You know what, the longer we live together, the more I noticed that you haven't really gotten over that first love of yours. I thought you want to heal but you still keep on randomly speak about it just like today?"

"It's because you keep spouting sh*t!" I growl and sob like a motherf*cker. "F*ck!" I slam my beer down the coffee table and cry into my hands. "F*cking hurts, Jess! It still f*cking hurts!"

"Hey, now." Jessie pulls me into her chest and lets me cry on her shoulder. "Of course it still hurts. It's just been a year after all."

"The pain still hurts like it was yesterday, Jess. I ache so much like my chests burning. F*ck it! I f*cking missed him!"

I sob into Jessie's shoulder without care of my mountain ego. This goddamn hole in my heart feels like a sinkhole eating at me every day. Every f*cking night! Whenever I think of Annalouie, the pain would be amplified. But whenever I remember what he did to me, the pain transforms into hatred.

I feel batsh*t crazy every time I cross these fucked up emotions back and forth and still can't stop loving the f*cker. Even if I try to find reason to his actions, I still can't figure him out. I entertained the thought of what Jessie said that maybe Annalouie did feel something for me.

However, if he was truly jealous, he shouldn't have gone mad about it because I did tell them it's just a fake marriage. I'm just projecting. Just because I'm in love with him, I'd entertain the idea that he, too, has something for me. This isn't a f*cking fairytale! This is my goddamn story that's full of sh*t and f*cks.

No matter how f*cked up and stupid that freak is, he's still stuck in my goddamn heart like a pesky gum to a shoe. It's just what I first think of him. He's a demon. A little devil that's full of sorcery. He must've cursed me to become like this.

Ring! Ring! Ring! I release myself from Jessie's embrace and answer the call. It's been ringing for hours. F*cking annoying. Taking a deep breath, I slide a thumb over the screen, not bothering to read the caller's name.

"Hello?"

"Axel?"

I pause for a moment and swallow hard. "Dad? I mean..."

"Yes, it's me, your dad. Can you check up on Annalouie? I'm still in Myanmar and my flight won't be due until tomorrow. He had an accident."

"What?" I suddenly get to my feet and snatch my keys without thinking anything else but Annalouie and accident. "Tell me where he is right now?"

I even forget to tell Jessie where I'm going. I drive to the hospital dad texted to me. God, no! Please let it nothing bad happened to him. I might want to kill that freak but I don't want him dead. I drive through night traffic like a mad man, thankful that I didn't alert any police patrolling the high way.

Three hours later, I arrive at the hospital, dash towards the front desk to inquire about Annalouie. When they ask about my relation to him, I don't even know what to say. We may no longer be tied by law but I still claim him as my brother and only then they point me to his suite.

A servant and a couple of bodyguards stand outside Annalouie's room. When they see me, they immediately let me in. I'm a bit confused by the bodyguards but quickly dismiss it. Of course, that's the way of the rich although I never practice the privilege before because having bodyguards tailing after me would be weird.

Slowly and carefully, I shut the door behind me and step into Annalouie's bed. He has bandage around his head and chest while his right arm is in cast. I breathe a relieved sigh when it's not his left since it's what he uses to paint. I study his sleeping form in silence and almost choke a sob.

Why does he look like this? He's lost weight and his one length hair has grown up to his shoulders. It's unkempt and looks greasy. He has thick stubbles like weeds growing on his face, a sign of obvious neglect.

"What are you doing here?"

I almost jump when Annalouie speaks. I didn't realize he's woken up while I'm busy taking notice of his appearance. However, before I can answer, he's already beat me to it.

"Didn't I tell you not to show your face to me again?" He glares, eyes blazing in anger. "Leave!"

"What the hell, Annalouie! Your dad's out of the country! He called me to check up on you."

"What for? You're not part of my family anymore! Why do you still wear your pretentious mask? Still seeking dad's approval until now, Axel? You're not my brother anymore! Even if we were, we never treat each other that way. So just leave! Leave! Guards! Guards!” The door quickly opens and the two bodyguards earlier enter. "Get him out of here and never let him near me again!"

I can't help my tears from falling down but Annalouie quickly turns his head away. The guards, who I've known in the mansion before, politely escort me outside the private suite. I sit on the bench outside and compose myself.

"W-what happened to him?" I ask them.

They look at each other first before one of them shrugs and answers my question. "He was attacked."

"Attacked? By who? And why?"

"Sir Annalouie's safety has always been in danger ever since, Sir Axel. That's why he can't go anywhere without us. But yesterday, Sir Annalouie left the house without notifying us and he was attacked. We still don't know the entire story and the police are waiting for him to wake up."

"Why would he be in danger? Who would harm him?" And why didnt I know about this?

"Only Sir Annalouie can answer that, Sir Axel. Even Dr. Webber didn't know the culprit."

What does that even mean? The freak must've earned himself a horde of enemies for being a psycho bastard. Since they don't know much, I didn't push for details anymore. I sent dad a text about Annalouie's status although I know he must've received it already from the servants. Albeit reluctant, I finally leave the hospital.

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