Shadows Beneath the Smile

"Mei Lin, could you help me with this math problem?" Xiao Fen’s voice was as sweet as ever, her expression hopeful as she slid her notebook across the desk.

"Sure, let me see." Mei Lin took the notebook and glanced at the equation, her pencil tracing over the numbers absent mindedly. This wasn’t the first time Xiao Fen had asked her for help, but she couldn’t remember a time when they’d just talked, like real friends would.

"Thanks! I knew I could count on you." Xiao Fen grinned, leaning back. "Honestly, Mei Lin, I don’t know how you do it. You’re smart, pretty, good at everything! Every guy here is practically in love with you!"

Mei Lin gave a polite smile, but the words struck something inside her. Smart, pretty, perfect…words that only painted her exterior. None of them knew what it felt like to be Mei Lin.

She let out a quiet sigh, looking out the window. Her thoughts wandered to her family. Home wasn’t exactly a comfort zone, either.

"Mei Lin, have you seen the new book Mom got Chen Yu?" her mother, Zhen Hua, had asked the other night, pride beaming in her voice as she flipped through pages filled with illustrations. "He's so lucky to have such a bright future ahead of him. You should be more like him, you know?"

The reminder had stung, but Mei Lin had merely nodded and forced a smile, like she always did. To her parents, Chen Yu, her younger brother, was their little prodigy, the one who would achieve everything they’d dreamed of.

"Mei Lin? Hello?" Xiao Fen’s voice brought her back to reality.

"Sorry," she muttered. "Got a bit distracted."

"Thinking about the career day tomorrow?" Ling Jie piped in, a hint of excitement in her voice. "I heard the chief guest is some big-shot doctor from the city. Imagine having a job like that!"

Career day. Mei Lin felt a pang in her chest at the thought. “I mean, I guess,” she mumbled, not wanting to reveal that she actually had no idea what she wanted to do.

"Oh, come on!" Xiao Fen nudged her playfully. "I bet you’ll end up being, like, a famous author or maybe a scientist. You can do anything, Mei Lin."

"Yeah…" Mei Lin said softly. "Anything."

As the bell rang, the other students filed out of the classroom, leaving Mei Lin to gather her things slowly. She walked through the hallways, past groups of friends chatting about their dreams, their goals, everything they were excited about. Mei Lin wished she could feel the same. Instead, she was left with a quiet envy she never spoke of.

When she got home, her mother was in the kitchen preparing dinner.

"Mei Lin," her mother called out without looking up, "did you remind Chen Yu about his piano lesson tonight? Your father’s counting on him to excel."

"Yes, Mom," Mei Lin replied, feeling a familiar sting. Even her responsibilities were centered around Chen Yu.

“Good.” Her mother’s voice softened, but it wasn’t for her. “We’re just so lucky to have a talented son.”

Mei Lin simply nodded and climbed the stairs to her room. She placed her bag down, looking at the walls covered in certificates and awards she’d earned over the years. Each one a piece of evidence of how hard she’d worked to earn their approval, only to feel invisible.

As Mei Lin sat by her window, she whispered to herself, “Maybe… maybe one day, I’ll figure out what I want to be.”

But for now, all she could do was keep pretending.

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