Shadow of the Past

On a cold morning, the wind slapped my face as I walked along Yamanote Street. The pale sunlight wasn't enough to warm the city, which seemed to be slowly awakening from a long night. I stumbled, trying to discard empty cigarette packs along the roadside. In that moment, everything around me felt engulfed in chaos, and the small room I returned to each night was more than just a shelter; it was a sanctuary that amplified my loneliness.

Main Character: My name is Yumi. A Japanese girl living in a large city swallowed by silence, despite all the noise surrounding me. My eyes are weary from lack of sleep, my arms stiff from the cold. I remember how my mother always said, "Life waits for no one." But I stopped waiting for anything a long time ago.

As I walk, I remember that last conversation with him, when I asked him not to look too far into the future. I don't want to live in a world full of false hopes. I told him, with a trembling voice:

Yumi: "Don’t love the unsettling cries that break the quiet. Let’s live only in the moment… don’t think about the future… just call my name… touch me and feel my presence… that’s all I need from you…”

Those words were an expression of everything inside me. I wanted to stay with him in that moment, to avoid thinking about everything that might happen later. I knew I had made a mistake somewhere, but I couldn’t pinpoint it. Maybe those small mistakes made his voice fade slowly, until it was barely audible.

At night, I would return to that small room, where the walls felt like they were closing in on me. The room was a lonely place, devoid of any emotions, yet I felt addicted to that solitude. In the long nights, when I heard the sound of German cars speeding down the road and police cars wailing, I imagined that somewhere, life continued despite everything. But for me, life was merely fragments of distorted memories.

Yumi (muttering to herself): "Maybe all I wanted in this life was to be acknowledged…”

The days accumulate, and every morning the same scenario repeats: I toss an empty cigarette pack onto the road and walk down Yamanote Street, trying to recall the smell of those cigarettes that connected us. Everything around me has become unbearably exhausting, even the voice I once loved has become distorted, as if I were the reason it broke.

I passed through the train gate that night. The faint blue light didn’t even cast my shadow, as if I had become invisible to the world. I remembered those days when I’d ride the train beside him, and nothing mattered except having him by my side. But now… not even his shadow remains with me.

As I sank into my thoughts, a police car sped past, its loud siren disrupting the quiet. I was used to that sound, but that night it felt different. I felt like the world was slowly crumbling around me.

Yumi (murmuring again): "Please… just call my name one more time…”

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