Chapter 4: Orion's Thought

Orion sat in the corner of his room, the morning light filtering through the half-drawn curtains. His eyes were fixed on nothing in particular, lost in the emptiness that had become his constant companion. The alarm clock blared beside him, but he didn’t move to silence it. Eventually, the sound grew unbearable, and with a sigh, he reached over and switched it off.

It was just another day, another meaningless routine to follow. Every morning felt the same—a dull ache in his chest and a sense of detachment that made the world seem distant and cold. The things that used to matter had lost their significance, leaving behind only a hollow shell of what once was.

Orion knew he wasn’t living—he was merely existing. Each day was a blur, passing by in a haze of monotony. He had grown used to the lifelessness, to the sense of drifting through life without a purpose. And yet, there was nothing he could do to change it. This was his reality, and he had resigned himself to it.

His phone buzzed on the nightstand, snapping him out of his thoughts. He glanced at the screen—it was a message from Shone, reminding him of their plans to meet for lunch. Orion’s lips curled into a faint, bitter smile. Shone was always so full of energy, always trying to bring some lightness into their lives. But for Orion, it felt like trying to fill a void that could never be filled.

He tossed the phone aside and dragged himself out of bed. His reflection in the mirror was the same as always—tired eyes, disheveled hair, and a look of apathy that seemed to have permanently settled on his face. Orion didn’t bother trying to fix it. It didn’t matter, anyway.

After getting dressed, he headed out, his steps heavy and his mind weighed down by the same thoughts that had been plaguing him for years. By the time he reached the cafeteria, Shone, Jia, and Harry were already there, waiting for him.

Shone was the first to notice him. He waved enthusiastically, his bright grin a stark contrast to Orion’s sullen demeanor. **"Orion! Over here!"**

Orion forced a smile and made his way over to the table. As he sat down, Shone immediately launched into a story about something ridiculous that had happened to him on the way to class. Orion nodded along, pretending to listen, but his mind was elsewhere.

Shone was a good guy—kind, funny, and always looking out for others. He came from a loving family, the kind that Orion had always envied. Shone’s parents were the picture of happiness, always doting on him and supporting him in whatever he did. It was no wonder that Shone had turned out the way he did—he had been surrounded by love his entire life.

But as much as Orion appreciated Shone’s kindness, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of resentment whenever he thought about the life his friend had. It wasn’t Shone’s fault, of course. He had just been lucky, born into a world where everything seemed to fall into place.

Harry, on the other hand, was the quiet observer of the group. He rarely spoke, but when he did, his words carried weight. Harry’s parents weren’t particularly good or bad—they were just there, existing in the background of his life. They provided for him, made sure he had what he needed, but there was always a distance between them. They were more like distant relatives than parents, and Harry had grown up learning to fend for himself.

Orion respected Harry for his intelligence and his ability to read people. He often wondered how Harry managed to stay so composed, so level-headed, despite the lack of emotional support in his life. Maybe it was because Harry had learned early on not to rely on others, to find his own way in a world that didn’t offer him much.

Then there was Jia. She was different from the others—wild, carefree, and utterly unapologetic about who she was. Jia’s story was the most similar to Orion’s, and perhaps that was why they were so close. Her parents were rich and powerful, but their lives were a mess. They were more interested in their social status and business deals than in their daughter, and Jia had grown up feeling neglected and unwanted.

She had rebelled against her parents’ expectations, choosing to live life on her own terms. Jia didn’t care what people thought of her, and she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. It was this fierce independence that had drawn Orion to her. They understood each other in a way that no one else could—both of them were broken in their own way, and they had found solace in each other’s company.

But even with his friends by his side, Orion couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness that gnawed at him. They were all here because of their parents—because their lives had been shaped by the choices of others. Their friendship had formed by chance, a result of circumstance rather than true connection.

Orion knew that, deep down, they were all just trying to get by, to find some meaning in the lives that had been handed to them. But for him, it felt like a losing battle. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find anything to hold on to, anything that made him feel truly alive.

Jia noticed his silence and nudged him with her elbow. **"You’re awfully quiet today, Orion. Something on your mind?"**

Orion glanced at her, then shook his head. **"Just tired,"** he lied.

Jia raised an eyebrow but didn’t press further. She knew better than anyone that there were some things Orion didn’t want to talk about. Instead, she turned her attention back to the others, joining in on the conversation with her usual wit and sarcasm.

As the lunch break continued, Orion found himself drifting in and out of the discussion. His friends laughed and joked, but he felt like an outsider looking in. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about them—he did. But there was a part of him that was always distant, always separate from the rest.

Orion’s thoughts wandered back to the night of the party, to the girl he had met—Freya. His stomach twisted at the thought of her, the memories of who she used to be flashing through his mind. She was no longer the timid girl he used to torment—she had transformed into someone new, someone who was far from the frightened girl he remembered.

But now, she was different, like she was carrying a weight that only he could see. And when she had looked at him, it was as if she had seen right through the mask he wore, straight to the emptiness beneath.

He shook his head, trying to push the thoughts away. It didn’t matter. She was just another person in a sea of faces, someone who would eventually fade into the background like everyone else. Orion wasn’t looking for connections, for relationships. He didn’t need the complications that came with them.

But even as he told himself this, he couldn’t help but feel a strange pull toward her. There was something about Freya that intrigued him, something that made him want to know more. It was a feeling he hadn’t experienced in a long time, and it left him feeling unsettled.

As the lunch break came to an end, Orion and his friends gathered their things and headed to their next classes. They walked together, their usual banter filling the air, but Orion remained distant, lost in his thoughts.

Jia glanced at him as they walked. **"You sure you’re okay, Orion? You seem off today."**

Orion forced a smile. **"I’m fine, Jia. Just tired, like I said."**

Jia didn’t seem convinced, but she let it go. **"Well, if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me,"** she said, her tone softer than usual.

**"Thanks, Jia,"** Orion replied, his voice quiet.

They parted ways as they reached their respective classrooms, and Orion was left alone with his thoughts once again. As he walked down the hallway, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was changing, that the emptiness he had grown so accustomed to was starting to crack.

But what that meant, he didn’t know. And for now, he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

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