1. CHAPTER 1

MY UNDYING LOVE FOR U: " THE DRIED CHERRY TREE THAT NEVER BLOOMED"

1st July 2001

Never imagined that things will turned like this.The first day of the month and I cried like hell just for him

"A girl was sitting in her study and writing her red diary of 1990.The pages of the diary were smelling like the wet wood and the tip of the ink pen was being absorbed by the sheet of paper and left a black stain.The whole room was quit,no other sounds were interrupting, the crying voice which was only heard by her and she was trying her best to hide them inside herself. The tears were continuously falling from her eyes which were priceless like the pearls found in the ocean. The tears wetted the paper and the ink got smudged. The words were not clear anymore.

Slowly slowly she was not able to read what she was writing. Her eyes were expressing everything to the paper but she couldn't stopped her."

I guess the whole month will go on like crying. I have lost interest over everything but still I want to talk with someone about anything.

Buddha, don't I deserve to be happy?

How long do I have to laugh with myself all alone?

How long the curtains, the table and chair, the books will hear my laughter and my sorrowness?

How long do I have to listen to everyone and solving there problems?

I thought smoking will help me in anyway but it is not working. Please erase my memory so maybe I'll be happy with those snakes.

Why did he taught me to be mature?

Please erase my memories I'll get my loved ones back except him. I don't like to be lonely. I knew it was all my fault even I said sorry and wanted a chance but he didn't gave, ok fine but later on why did you spread rumours.

Why did you told Priston that I gave my nudes to u?

You knew I had no one by my side except you but still you didn't cared. I knew I made a big mistake but for the sake of you I wanted to made everything normal still u didn't accept it.

I wanna die now I cannot.I am fed up of everything and everyone. I HATE U FOR MAKING ME TERRIBLE, I LOST THOSE SNAKES WHO WERE MY FRIENDS , I STARTED TO HATE MY LIFE.

I AM TIRED CREATING MY HAPPINESS.

What should I do now Raya(diary). how long do I have to seach for my temporary happiness Ik I cannot have him back but I cannot see him with any other girl.

I never even tried to break Priston and Maria's relationship, I was just solving their problems and giving advices but I did told Maria that the decision will be yours. I knew how it felt when you destroyed your 'perfect relationship' that's why I protectd their ones but just for one sentence I told my existence got rubbed so easily?

Why did you said something like this Arnor to Priston??

I hate you but still I love you.But I don't deserve you.

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