Beep! You Got A New Message!
Beep! You got a new message!
Unknown Number
Have you seen my cat?
Unknown Number
Was meant to message my neighbour, but my chat with you is still at the top of my messages and I just automatically clicked it.
Quinns
We haven't spoken for like two days and I'm still at the top of your messages archive?
Quinns
Don't take this the wrong way but
Quinns
Do you have friends?
Unknown Number
How am I supposed to not take that the wrong way?
Unknown Number
There is literally no other way to take that
Quinns
Wait wait wait waittttt!!!!!
Quinns
What's happening with your cat? I'm highly invested now.
Quinns
Aw don't ignore me now!!!
Quinns
Alright I'm sorry for asking if you have any friends.
Quinns
But, in all fairness, you did pretty much ask me the same thing the other night.
Ding!
You have sent a screenshot:
Don't you have friends to bother with this crap?
(00:52)
Quinns
I'm glad you're starting to see things my way.
Quinns
So...what's up with the cat?
Unknown Number
He's not my cat really. He's my brothers, but I'm supposed to be looking after him while he's at uni.
Quinns
You lost the cat didn't you?
Unknown Number
Not intentionally, but, yes. I lost him.
Quinns
Cats are like the easiest pets in the world do look after. Next to, I dunno, a pet earthworm?
Unknown Number
Pet earthworm?
Quinns
I went through a Phase.
Quinns
Anyway, how'd you lose it?
Unknown Number
Like I said, it wasn't intentional. But, ah, well, I think I left my bedroom window open last night and he probably climbed out of it?
Unknown Number
Definitely.
Quinns
Don't worry about it so much, cats are always leaping out of things.
Unknown Number
But Muffin is a house cat. He's never really been outside before. What if he got hit by a car?
Unknown Number
Or attacked by a dog?
Unknown Number
Or kidnapped??
Quinns
Did you know there are precisely six hundred and forty-four tiles on the ceiling of the detention hall?
Quinns
Do you know how I know that?
Unknown Number
No, but I suspect you're going to tell me...
Quinns
Because I've just spent an hour in detention without even so much as a book to keep me company.
Unknown Number
Please refer to the previous answer.
Quinns
Because your cat is named Muffin.
Unknown Number
Yeah, I'm not following.
Quinns
Long story short, I was in the middle of a lesson and when you said your cat is called Muffin I laughed so hard I fell off my chair.
Quinns
Teacher noticed I had my phone in my hands and the rest is history.
Unknown Number
Serves you right for laughing at Muffin.
Quinns
WHO NAMES THEIR CAT MUFFIN?
Quinns
ARE YOU SECRETLY AN 80-YEAR-OLD WOMAN???
Unknown Number
I didn't name him - my brother did.
Unknown Number
And Muffin is a perfectly acceptable name for a cat.
Quinns
Muffin probably ran away because he hates being called Muffin.
Quinns
He's probably with a new family who have given him the name he deserves.
Unknown Number
What would you name him then o' great cat whisperer?
Quinns
Cat whisperer? I like it.
Quinns
What's he look like?
Unknown Number
Just your average black cat. Been getting a little chubby lately, I guess.
Unknown Number
How is Gomez any better than Muffin???
Quinns
Perfect name for a black cat in my humble, and totally correct, opinion.
Quinns
Perfect name for a black cat in my humble, and totally correct, opinion.
Quinns
Thank you for agreeing 😌
Quinns
Anyway. Did you end up finding Muffin/Gomez?
Unknown Number
Slightly worried because he hasn't been acting normally these past few weeks.
Unknown Number
We think he might be ill.
Unknown Number
My neighbour's gonna help me put up posters when she gets home from school though.
Quinns
I don't know how I'll be able to sleep at night if I don't know Muffin/Gomez is safe.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Update: Muffin is safe.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
We found him in the park with a group of cats. Mildly worried he might be part of a gang. This big one with one eye tried to claw my face off when I went to grab Muffin.
Quinns
This is the greatest news I've heard all day.
Quinns
Give Muffin/Gomez a kiss for me, will you?
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
No.
Quinns
What am I saved as in your phone?
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
What?
Quinns
It's a simple question Muffin's Terrible Uncle.
Quinns
That's what you're saved as in my phone FYI.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
I found him didn't I??
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
And...I haven't saved your number yet.
Quinns
And here I was thinking we had something special - a bond if you will - all the while I'm still just a +44 in your phone book.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
I don't typically save numbers of people I'm not going to speak to more than once.
Quinns
We've spoken more than once already.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
I guess
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Is this going to be continuing then?
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Not really. You're...entertaining?
Quinns
So, about that name....
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Cat Whisperer
Quinns
I was going to suggest 'Muffin's Favourite Uncle He's Never Met' but, you're right, Cat Whisperer sounds better.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Muffin would hate you.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
He hates everyone except my brother. He's only just started warming up to me.
Quinns
Maybe because his name is Muffin.
Quinns
I would definitely make it my mission to hate everyone extra hard if my name were Muffin. But that's just me.
Cat Whisperer
Anyway, all cats love me. I'm like their God or something.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Living up to your Cat Whisperer name, I see.
Cat Whisperer
ᕙ( : ˘ ∧ ˘ : )ᕗ
Cat Whisperer
Now we've got names sorted, I gotta ask...
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
What?
Cat Whisperer
You aren't like...twelve are you?
Cat Whisperer
Cause earlier you said you were waiting for your neighbour to finish school to help you put up posters, implying you weren't at school. So either you're too young to go to school (yikes) or too old to be at school (also yikes???)
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Oh.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
I'm 17.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
I, uh, I don't go to school though. I dropped out after it stopped being mandatory.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
What about you? Are you like...twelve?
Cat Whisperer
Ahaha, no I'm 17 as well.
Cat Whisperer
I'm still in school though. Boarding school actually.
Cat Whisperer
It is nothing like the Enid Blyton books before you ask. I feel like I've been sold a lie.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Yeah, I know. My brother went to one for a few years.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
I've heard all the horror stories.
Cat Whisperer
Eh, it's not that bad.
Cat Whisperer
Supposed to be good preparation for university or something.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Or something.
Cat Whisperer
So what do you do, if you're not at school?
Cat Whisperer
Gonna go ahead and guess babysitting a cat isn't your full-time job?
Cat Whisperer
Since, you know, you're so terrible at it.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Excuse you, you're talking to a professional cat sitter.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
But I do some work with my dad when I'm not looking after Muffin.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
I guess.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Speaking of dad, he wants me up early tomorrow so...
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
Night.
Cat Whisperer
Goodnight MTU.
Cat Whisperer
Make sure you give Muffin/Gomez a kiss from me.
Muffin's Terrible Uncle
No.
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