beginning and the end

I just got to know that my friend and his boyfriend broke up....(tb) I feel for him first but she become his girlfriend... I don't blame her nor hated her.. I respect her and his boyfriend....years had past and I found out that his boyfriend cheated on her....they talk through it but then my friend did it too.....that's why they broke up....at that time my feelings for him come back...it was unexpected....everything was fine until he confessed.. I was so happy but also hesitant...he courted me for almost 3 months....but something happened...i started to notice it but still, it hurts....8 in the afternoon...he said those words...he confessed that he still missed her... I told him that it's ok I understand...if your not ready I understand... you don't have to push yourself...heal your self if you wanted to....he feel so bad for giving me false hope...but it's fine everything was so obvious......(this may not be what you wanted to read but I just want to share this experience of mine because I have no one yo talk to right now....im very if I can't continue the other story).... (if your loving someone please be sure on your feelings.... I want to cry but I can't)... (thank you for reading) .....im so hurt right now that I don't even know if I can face him tomorrow..everything was going smoothly but then that happen....i understand him...but it hurt...i was supposed to make it official this coming 30 but yeah...things happen unexpectedly...specially for me....i was so happy that i got to see him again after a week because he needs to fix something....i was so shock hurt angry...mix feeling for what happened but i don't have a choice it's his feeling not mine...if they somehow got back together... I can't face them again... I don't want to be with them....im also hurt... I was the first one but she come so I didn't become his he didn't become mine.....and it was repeated....i ask God to give me a sign if it's him but I guess not... this is his sign that he's not for me....i guess being friend is better but I don't think me and him will have the same relationship as what we have in the past...thinking about this upset me but I have to make up my mind if I should avoid him or not....i started to become nonchalant for many things....i wish this feeling I have now will stop...i hate being hurt...specially by the person I truly loved and trust...they are what I only have but i guess they will leave...like what everyone does....im a very sensitive person also I'm emotional...

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