What If I Want You Back¿? ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

*looks back*

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

Ma?

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

*smiles* Happy Birthday Baby ❤️

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

*sits beside rai*

Nyx loops her hand around Rai's shoulder and pulls her to herself

Rai snuggles and breathe in the soothing scent of the woman who loves her to the moon and back

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

*relax*

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

I missed you 🥺

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

I missed you too baby 😘

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

*closes her eyes*

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

Hmm *caressing her hair*

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

I'm gonna do it...day after tomor- I mean tomorrow

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

*understood her*

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

You do what you want to do... I'll always be Here with you

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

I know *voice breaking*

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

*hugs her tightly*

Rai opens her eyes and a tear slid down her face

Nyx wipes it away

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

Are you gonna tell Atticus before?..

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

No...I don't think I can tell him face to face 😞

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

Telling a stranger would be much easier

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

*kiss her head* I understand

They stayed like this for a few seconds

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

It's your 5th anniversary

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

I know

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

Ma..do you think he remembers...our anniversary I mean

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

*sigh* I.. honestly don't know 😔

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

Hmm

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

Anyways why are still up...you must be tired

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

I wanted to wish you first

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

You could've done that in the morning

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

I could've 😌..

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

*smiles* I can't with you

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

*looks up at her Ma*

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

I love you Ma 😽💗

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

I love you too baby ❤️

Nyx Van Doren (mc's mother)

*kiss her head*

(pose is something like this)

After talking for 20 more mins they went to their respective room

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

*enters her room after getting fresh and changing into her pajamas*

Atticus Van Doren (MC)

*sleeping*

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

*lay beside him*

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

*looks at him*

Rai's pov

it's weird

Beside me is the man who I've loved since I was kid

he's the one who made my heart race...made me feel things I thought was only possible in movies or books

Things I once did for this man..who was always on the forefront of my mind

But now

When I look at him my heart doesn't flutter the way it once did

He barely occupies my thought

I don't miss him when we are apart

I don't like it...I don't like that I am losing my feelings for him

Even tho he did nothing

Maybe that's the problem..he did nothing

He may not have cheated on me and never looked at another woman but we are not really married

In the eyes of law..yes we are married but in real life we are more like roommates than husband and wife

I hate that

I hate everything

I hate that I am not in love with him anymore

Being in love with Atticus was the only thing that kept me alive this long

Loving him made me think that I wasn't that broken 💔 that I could be fixed

but not anymore...and I don't know what I should do..I wanna save us but I'm too tired

Overtime loving him felt exhausting... loving someone shouldn't be exhausting..if it does that means you don't love them...right?

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

*sighs tiredly*

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

(I should sleep.. thinking is exhausting)

Rai volkova/Van Doren (FMC)

*closes her eyes and sleeps*

nana(⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

(⁠•⁠ө⁠•⁠)⁠♡