Lee’s Nightmares

At exactly 3:21 in the morning, Lee Emmet awoke from a terrible, terrible nightmare. When his mind finally registered to what was happening, he found himself sitting up on his messy bed, his nails digging into the mattress. He felt his sweat all over his body, leaving his hair damp and his back moist. He felt his shoulders heave and his heart beat. He felt his eyes fill with tears he never intended to shed.

He never even knew why he always woke up like this, all messed up, sweaty, teary-eyed. He was absolutely terrified, but of what? What exactly made him wake up this early in the morning? What made him cry like a child at his age? What thing made his stomach drip and blood curl?

And then he remembered it, the Man. He was a terrible man, he was a terrible father.

Though he did not hit or abuse his son physically, his words would forever ring in his ears. They would haunt him wherever he went, whatever he did. He was always the failure, the mistake, the outcast to that man.

“Lee,” he’d start. “You dare disgrace this family like that.”

Disgrace. That was all he was to his father. A sad, worthless disgrace.

All he ever did was be born. All he ever did wrong was being brought into this world an omega.

He did all he could to make up to his father. He studied hard, he tried to get taller, he made sure to be the best in everything he did and knew how to do. But nothing was enough. He wasn’t enough.

“I’ll never be good enough,” Lee sobbed silently, as not to wake the sleeping Mason beside him.

He clenched his fist in his chest and used the other hand to cover his mouth as he cried like the child that he knew he was. Tears ran down his face one by one, whether he liked it or not. He closed his eyes, repeating to himself, “Stop crying, stop crying, stop crying...”

If his father saw him now, he’d tell him again, “How could I ever allow myself to make something as useless as you?” These words would linger in the air, as cold and as pitiless as they came out.

“I’m sorry, Father. I’ll stop it. I promise.”

“I don’t care. You’ve already failed.”

“But-“

“No. I won’t take any of your excuses into consideration.”

This was his life. His father was right. He could never be a man. If he kept this up, he would never accept him.

“Lee?”

The voice made his whole body flinch and his eyes shoot open. He looked to his right where Mason was up on his elbows, squinting at him.

He saw the worry written all over his face which only meant that he saw everything that happened. But knowing that Mason was just going to make fun of him anyways—like he knew he would—he mumbled, “It’s nothing,” as he wiped his face dry with his sleeves and turned to face away from him.

“Wait,-“ Mason tried to grab Lee’s arm, but he shook it off, stubbornly.

“Mason, I said, ‘it’s nothing’!” he cried.

He tried to stop the tears flow down his face, but it was way too late to try. He tried shutting his eyes tight, hoping they would go away. Nothing.

“Dammit!” he exclaimed as he covered his eyes.

“Dammit!” His lower lip quivered like crazy.

“Why won’t it stop? They just won’t stop!”

Upon hearing this, Mason thought he felt his heart shatter. He knew that his boyfriend would cry in the middle of the night like this and go immediately to sleep. But tonight was different. Tonight, it wasn’t just his feelings that were hurt but his heart. It was his heart where he kept his anger, his stress, his sadness. It was his heart where it all festered and needed to be let go. Today, he needed to let go.

He wrapped his arms around Lee. This had to stop. Right. Now.

“What the **** are you doing?” Lee squealed as he tried to shake Mason off of him.

“No. Stop!” Mason demanded.

“Mason this isn’t-“

“Just listen to me!”

And like that, Lee stopped stuggling.

“Lee,” Mason whispered. “You have to let it go.”

“What the **** are you talking about? Get o-“

“I know what you’ve been crying about.”

Lee freezes. He’s never actually been caught crying like this before. Or at least, no one’s ever told him.

“It’s your dad, isnt it?” Mason continued.

Lee bit his lower lip and nodded.

“I get it-“ Mason pulled him closer, letting his legs land back in the bed-“your old man’s too hard on you. And that’s why you have to let go.”

“Let what go?” Lee sniffled, covering his eyes.

“The emotions you’ve kept inside.”

His words linger for a second.

Lee was surprised to see this side of Mason. He never knew he could be this... sensitive before. Their relationship had always circulated around sex and that only. Hearing this come from Mason was the last thing he expected. It was new. The good kind.

“Your heart just can’t take it anymore. You really have to cry it all out,” Mason whispered. “And it’s okay.”

Why was he so kind right now? This was a trick, wasn’t it?

“Hey.” Mason grabbed Lee’s wrists and pulled them away, exposing his tightly shut eyes.

“Open,” he demanded.

Lee opened his eyes. The felt so sore and puffy. He felt Mason lift his chin up so that their eyes would meet.

“Your dad,” Mason started. “He can’t hurt you now. He’s not here.”

“But men aren’t supposed to cry,” Lee whimpered.

“Real men know how to express their feelings.”

When Mason smiled at him, Lee knew that it was okay now. He could trust Mason. And Mason could trust him.

So he wrapped his arms around Mason’s chest and bawled like a baby. He cried and cried and cried rivers down his face. Mason consoled him, hugged him, and embraced his heart.

This went on for at least an hour. And after that, it was all gone.

Because you can’t blame Lee. His dad? He was a fucking asshole.

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