Ashley

"Ashley! Ashley! Are you alright?" I heard voice. A girl's voice... it feels familiar, I have heard it before... I remember now. It's Lizzie. I slowly opened my eyes only to see Lizzie sitting beside me on my bed, with a worried expression. "Est-ce que tu vas bien, Ash? (In French) You had the same dream again? You were breathing so heavily!" I didn't said anything to reply her but she understood maybe, because of which she sighed. Yes, i had the same nightmare again. The nightmare that i am having from the day i ran away from my home, from my own marriage.

"Ash, You really want to avoid that dream?" Lizzie said with worry in her eyes. "Don't worry about me Liz, I've already healed from those wounds, so they will not bleed again.", I said, trying to reassure, but i don't know whom, me or Lizzie? "Oh really, Ash? But the same dream you see everyday says something else! These fast breathings everyday, the same dream everyday... you can fool everyone else but ask yourself, can you fool yourself too?" Lizzie said countering me. I couldn't reply anything, maybe she felt it, that's why she said with a sigh, "Ok Ash, i am not going to lecture you about the things you don't want to talk about. Get up and Be ready!"

I got up, went to bathroom and locked the door behind me. I can still feel the sweat on my forehead that came when i was in the nightmare, i can still feel the shaking of my hands, my fingers... and my tears. Maybe Lizzie was right, I can lie to the whole world but i can't lie to myself. I raised my head, saw myself in the mirror. My hazel eyes have became puffy already. The things from my past came flashing in less than a second. My mom, my dad, my grandpa... Parker.

Everyday, they come haunting me, in my dreams... I don't even blame them because that is what i deserve... I left them all alone, left them crying. Maybe... it's Karma that's why I am getting back what I did to you guys... I hurt you and i neglected your love... That is why I get nightmares every night... That you all hate me, Hate me from the bottom of your hearts. Mom telling me that she regrets giving birth to me, Dad watching me with disgust in his eyes, Grandpa calling me an Unfilial Child, And Parker... He regrets meeting me...

Half an hour later I heard a knock on the door, I had been crying since then... i didn't even got ready for my school. I asked Lizzie to give me five minutes. I need to get myself together. After coming this far, I can't back off now. I can't become weak now. This is the last year of my Highschool, I just have to work very hard so that i can get admission in the University I came here for-Cherry blossom University, so that I can achieve my dream.

I know you guys must be hating me for my actions and even have forgotten me.. that is the thing I can't do anything about. But I can't stop now, I gathered my courage from these three years... and now that I am very close to my Dream... I can't become weak!!!

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