I could not understand whether to laugh or be angry after listening to Ayan. I said, "Ayan, a girl in your room at this hour, what will happen if your father knows.... I am going crazy with worry. And, you are kidding?"
Ayan said, "Why would I joke? I will not stay here anymore, mother."
I am looking at Ayan and Crystal. Before I realized anything, I started feeling strange. I don't remember what happened next. When I opened my eyes, I was lying on the floor of Dayan's room. (Where is he? Did I become senseless? No... No, I think it was all a dream.) I started calling Ayan. But, he has no response. I saw a diary on his table. I gave this to Ayan as a gift. I opened the diary. There were many things written randomly.
"Mother, since childhood I have noticed that I am not like everyone else. Even among everyone, I felt that none of them belonged to me. It was very difficult for me to adapt to everyone. I couldn't imagine how you could go out in such bright light. I would have suffered a lot. And, when it was night, you wouldn't even let me go up to the roof. You used to asked, "Aren't you afraid?" I couldn't understand what is the fear of the dark? You can hide yourself in the dark. How can I tell you how many problems I used to have in going to and from school. Anyway, I have trouble living in this environment and you must have trouble with me. So, I decided to leave. Let me answer you a few questions. I first came to know that I am not human from Crystal. She used to appear in the mirror and talk to me. And, my father can never be human. He is definitely one of our community. You know this very well. And, I have always tried to go back to my community. But, as my mother belongs to the human race, I can't go there, said Crystal. Because I have become like a human. So, I had to kill 1 person to prove my existence. Only then, they would understand that I am not really human. And, I was told to kill him, your husband, whom you claim to be my father. To tell the truth, I would not have had the slightest difficulty in killing him. But you are my mother. I didn't do it thinking that you will suffer. I thought, first I will make him look bad in your eyes. Like, you dislike him. After that, even if he dies, you will not suffer. So, I made rainbow cake, Rimi said. Also, I tried in various ways but could not. How bad do you think I am? I'm really bad. However, I love you very much, mother. However, since I could not kill, the head of the jinn community told me to stay here. Because I have the signs of a human being in me. And no jinn should contact me. But, still Crystal came to meet me. Therefore, she was sent to humans as a punishment to erase all her memories. And, therefore, she did not recognize me in the hospital. The two unique powers of the jinn are that they can enter the mirror. I didn't had any.But, after many attempts, I finally found that I could enter the mirror. And, because of this, I might be able to return to my community. Forgive me mom. I'm leaving you selfishly. But, I am very uncomfortable staying here. Do you want me to spend the rest of my life in discomfort?"
I couldn't read anymore. Is he not really human? I saw many doctors before becoming pregnant. Even as a woman of this modern age, I went to hundreds of Tantric. A woman said that she had 3 jinns in her possession. She could do many things with the help of jinn. I gave her two of my gold bangle. Said, I want only 1 child in exchange for anything. She gave me something to eat. Then, I fell asleep. I woke up in the evening. She smiled and said that you will be happy in the next month. It really happened. I don't know what she did. I never found her again.
(Dayan has to know everything. Is he really not the father of Ayan?) My hands and feet began to tremble. I told everything to Dayan. He listened quietly. He said, "Show me Ayan's writings where?" I showed. He sighed. He said, you have lost your mind. It is a blank page. There is no text. And that brat must have grumbled and left the house showing anger at me. Don't worry he will come back soon.
I am listening to Dayan in shock. (What is he saying? I can see the clear writings. But why can't he get it? Ayan just want to tell me the truth?)
It has been a long time since I last saw him. Ayan did not return. Dayan reported to the police station. But, it didn't work. I know it won't happen. I always tell Dayan the truth. He doesn't believe me. I see a psychiatrist. It's all a mistake in my mind. I really don't understand what's true and what's false. I often look in the mirror. I see Ayan.The doctor says this is my imagination. But, fortunately, he was my child. How hard I raised him. Does he not remember my words?
Doctor says I am not suffering from schizophrenia. Since I became a mother late and went to a jinn for help, it occurred to me that my son might not be human. The jinn might be my son's father. It is because of thinking these things subconsciously that I speak wrongly.
I also accepted the doctor's words. Maybe it's my subconscious mind. Maybe Ayan really got angry with his father and left. Then, he got into some danger and maybe died. Maybe Crystal, Ayan, all the diaries I saw were all wrong. But, still I know I am not wrong. Because, I feel the presence of Ayan around me. I tried to commit suicide for 1 day. But, then I felt as if someone was saying in my ear with utmost compassion, "Don't do that, mother...don't do that."
I see him in my dreams. How many years have passed. Everyone has forgotten him. But, I know he is alive. He and Crystal have a very beautiful daughter. In her dream, she is telling me, "Mom, give your granddaughter a name."
I look for the name in the name book. Everyone says I'm crazy. I accept it. If I'm crazy and see my child, what's wrong with being crazy............??
.............. finished.............
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