Chapter 8: Delusions of Grandeur

Drinking water was often a nightmare prank for Tan Mo, who was too young to know good from evil, and for Tan Mo, who was crippled by a car accident, it was a shame and a death sentence.

When I was a kid, my classmates would call him away from class and sneak something nauseating into Tan Mo's glass of water, like mustard, or a handful of dirt, or a bug, or something even more disgusting.

He once choked on mustard and nearly suffocated from coughing.

Since then he would never take a cup to school again, nor did he take a sip of water or eat once at school.

Later, when his legs were crippled and he could no longer stand up, he would not take another sip of water. He would never take another sip of water because he had to go to the bathroom afterwards, and going to the bathroom, which is an everyday act for everyone, was the most embarrassing ordeal for Tan Mo.

So the girl, what was she doing by offering to talk to him and what was she doing by offering to help him with the water?

He had no time to think about it, and for a moment his mind roared with nothing but the exaggerated and unbridled shameful laughter of his former classmates.

"Tan Mo , go to the toilet together."

"Tan Mo, how do you disabled people go to the toilet? Do you need help? How do you help?"

"Tan Mo, drink water or not, laxative!"

Finally it gradually overlapped with the voice of the girl who had just been there.

"Tan Mo , so would you like a glass of water, I can fetch you one on the way."

Tan Mo had never expected anything, but the girl who had said good afternoon to her one moment said something so similar to what she had once said the next.

He was not disappointed, or perhaps his emotional system, isolated by his condition and different from that of others, could not recognize such a high level of emotion as disappointment, and the emotions that overwhelmed him at this moment were no different from the humiliation, the anger, that he had felt.

She was no different from those who had humiliated him.

No, there was still a difference, she would even approach him with a pretense of goodwill before.

And very patiently approached several times.

He would not expect any more good mornings or good afternoons.

He needs to stay away from this man.

Qiao Lan noticed that Tan Mo's attitude towards her had grown colder since that day.

Of course, Tan Mo was always cold to her, but Qiao Lan could still find some difference in the always expressionless face.

Once when she said good morning to Tan Mo, Tan Mo would not give her any response, but would stop her wheelchair and stare at her with the same kind of look that the other students had described, before finally lowering her head again and passing by her in silence.

But now, when Qiao Lan offers to say hello, Tan Mo won't even stop his wheelchair.

Tan Mo was like isolating Qiao Lan's voice, unable to hear Qiao Lan's voice, and the rejection was so obvious that even the rest of the class could see it.

"Damn Qiao Lan is so funny too, she actually offered to say hello to Tan Mo and she was ignored."

"No one wants to talk to her, so she has to talk to stupid people."

The group burst out laughing and turned their heads towards Tan Mo's place in the last row, who was looking down at something.

The English language is so dense that even Song Yao, who has the best English grades, may not be able to read it without difficulty.

This is a world famous book, Wuthering Heights.

He couldn't quite remember why he had picked up the book again, perhaps because the "malice" behind Qiao Lan's kindness suddenly reminded him of the book's protagonist, Heathcliff's mildness beneath the hate.

There's not really much of a connection, but he somehow connected the dots.

He looked down at the book and happened to see a sentence.

[Will you live when your soul is in the grave?]

After the death of his mother, after the crippling of his legs, he asked himself every day if you would still like to live.

[Only solitude belongs to you alone]

He had nothing, no family, no friendship, no health, no sense of emotion, no dignity, and from the beginning, only loneliness belonged to him.

The heat has gradually lifted in the north in November, and the white frost on the grass that dries up in the early hours of the morning is "mirrored" by the cool autumn breeze in the sky.

But for the students, it doesn't seem to make a difference.

I was even a little happy that the heat had finally passed and that it was the most comfortable weather, not too cold and not too hot.

PE in the senior year had not yet been taken up by the rest of the teachers and still belonged to the students. There was PE in the afternoon and after the last class in the morning, Li Fan a few started yelling to remember to bring the ball in the afternoon.

"Class 2 also has PE in the afternoon, so it's the perfect time to play."

This was said to Chen Yaoyang, who naturally had no problem with the fact that he had always been the star of the school, not only in his studies but also on the field.

A few of them hooked up and went out, and a few girls packed up their things, including Qiao Lan's tablemate, and left the classroom in pairs.

Qiao Lan is still sitting in her seat with a pen in her hand, writing something down.

"Just pretend," snorted a short-haired girl.

"Oh no, Qiao Lan is really working hard these days, I hear she comes in early every morning to memorise her books."

"Memorizing my ass, waiting outside for Chen Yaoyang on purpose, and with that base and that brain of hers, even if she did learn it, it would be useless."

"One has to be a bit self-aware, and you say how she has none of that."

"I can't help it, she is poor, ugly and poor in studies, poor and ugly can't help, so she can only remedy the situation in studies."

They laughed out loud and changed the subject, "What kind of girl do you think Chen Yaoyang likes?"

"Just Song Yao."

"I seem to remember Chen Yaoyang saying that he likes smart girls, and Song Yao has good grades, so how could Chen Yaoyang not like that?

"I don't think so, Song Yao likes Chen Yaoyang so much, but Chen Yaoyang hasn't confessed either, so I don't think he likes her..."

"Who cares, we'll watch Chen Yaoyang play in PE this afternoon, it looks like class 2 is having PE too, we can see Hao Ying too, do you want to buy water this afternoon..."

The meaning behind the purchase of the water, a few people laughed at it and understood it for themselves.

When the classroom was almost empty, Qiao Lan walked out of the classroom.

She is still not very confident about physics, after all, she used to be a liberal arts student and has forgotten all about physics, and physics mainly depends on understanding, it is still a bit difficult to learn completely on your own.

Turning his neck to look back, Tan Mo had also gone.

Qiao Lan leaned back in his chair and let out a long sigh.

It's been a few days since the last time, and Qiao Lan has finally figured out a bit what she said was wrong.

Tan Mo didn't react to the first two sentences, but after he asked if he wanted a drink of water, Tan Mo didn't feel right at all.

The word "water" touches Tan Mo's heart.

In yesterday's information class, Qiao Lan finally came across the internet and googled Asperger syndrome to get a general understanding of the condition.

According to the internet, people with Asperger syndrome, especially children, are prone to bullying because they don't fit in with other children, and according to statistics, 90 per cent of children with Asperger syndrome have been bullied by their peers in their childhood.

This can easily lead to a result, suffering from delusions of grandeur.

It is only natural that this should be the result of so much persecution and bullying.

Tan Mo's sensitivity to the word "drink" is probably due to the fact that someone has hurt him in this way.

Qiao Lan feels a little guilty.

She didn't mean to, but it's true that she hurt Tan Mo.

In addition to this, Qiao Lan observed Tan Mo for several days and found that Tan Mo never brought a water cup to school and he never left his seat, even to go to the bathroom.

Qiao Lan realises, with the benefit of hindsight, that going to the bathroom is not easy for Tan Mo, not only is it not easy, it might even be laughed at by her classmates.

Qiao Lan is even more guilty.

As she walked along the campus, Qiao Lan thought to herself that she had to be more cautious if she wanted to really reach out to Tan Mo and for Tan Mo not to reject her so much, and as she passed the campus mini-mart, Qiao Lan turned into the supermarket and bought a lollipop after buying the refill she was supposed to buy.

In my haste to walk, I didn't see a few of my classmates in the supermarket buying water.

A few girls turned their heads and saw Qiao Lan buying sweets, so they greeted the girls with them and talked as they watched Qiao Lan go.

"I knew she couldn't take it anymore at last!"

Qiao Lan used to buy candy every day to please the boys and girls in her class, but she had never bought any before, but she bought them again for the first time in days.

Qin Yang was holding the basketball that Chen Yaoyang had brought with him and kept saying that it was a good ball.

A few girls crowded over and looked at Chen Yaoyang for a moment before saying to Qin Yang, "Guess what we just saw."

"What's that?", Qin Yang is not interested, he's all about basketball right now.

"We just went to the supermarket to buy something and met Qiao Lan", and Qin Yang was seen turning her head.

"Qiao Lan is buying candy."

Qin Yang slapped the basketball hard on the ground and couldn't manage a smile, "Fuck, I knew it, she's like that," he said and sat on the basketball with a heated smile and looked at Chen Yaoyang, "Besides, there's still Yaoyang."

Chen Yaoyang cursed and kicked the basketball out, "Shut up if you can't talk."

A few people burst out laughing, especially Qin Yang, who laughed particularly loudly.

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