Prologue

28 November 2012

Forties Hospital, Noida

Those memories still send a sharp, stinging pain through me . I walked to the Fortis internal medicine ICU. My heart was racing and I was flooded with emotions. After a few minutes, I was standing outside the ICU door; Bhavna was behind a green curtain. “Listen, you have to be brave and calm. I want to inform you that Bhavna’s condition is deteriorating further and we’re planning to put her on a ventilator,” the doctor said in a concerned tone and handed me a document to sign. I felt numbed. As these icy words pierced me, it felt as if my blood was freezing. “What are the chances of recovery?” I asked bluntly. “Rare chance; once she is doing well we can remove her from that, but her condition is getting worse. The ventilator is not the problem, the infection is.” “So, is she not on ventilator yet?” I asked. “Can I see her?” “That is what I called you for. This ventilator will only be removed once she starts recovering or there are signs of improvement. She’ll be administered anesthesia which will make her unconscious so that the ventilator doesn’t cause any damage.” “What if there are no signs of improvement?” I asked. “Then, I’m sorry…” he sighed. “It is possible you’ll be talking to her for the last time.” I went behind the green curtain. I thought I would hug her, but that would make her feel that something was wrong and shemight break down completely. With a heavy heart and this dilemma in mind, I went to her. There was blood around her lips. She lay with her mouth open and her eyes closed. It was the most horrifying moment of my life. Watching her struggle to breathe made me insane. I wished I could have given her my breath and a part of my life, but I was helpless. I had never felt so disabled in my life. With great difficulty I said, “I love you, Bhavna. And you are the best wife.” She collected her strength and whispered something with ragged breaths.

My life changed from that day onwards. What my life was before and what it became after, is something that forced me to write this book. I wish I could rewind time and go back and relive all the beautiful moments that we had cherished together.

बेपनाह मोहब्बत तुम से मिलकर हुई,

इस मेरे दिल को ख़ुशी तुम से मिलकर हुई,

पाया सब कुछ दुनिया में मैं,

पर जीवन में ख़ुशी तुमसे मिलकर हुई.

तेरी खुशी से नही गम से भी रिश्ता है मेरा,

तू ज़िंदगी का एक अनमोल हिस्सा है मेरा,

मेरी मोहब्बत सिर्फ़ लफ़ज़ो की मोहताज़ नही,

तेरी रूह से रूह का रिश्ता है मेरा

ये मत कहना कि तेरी याद से रिश्ता नहीं रखा,

मैं खुद तन्हा रहा मगर दिल को तन्हा नहीं

रखा,तुम्हारी चाहतों के फूल तो महफूज़ रखे हैं,

तुम्हारी नफरतों की पीर को ज़िंदा नहीं रखा।