1: Reality scares me

June's POV:

I sit down on my couch with my new book. The weather, well... it's my least favorite. It's a bright sunny day! I open my book and start reading, though my mind is elsewhere. 'Austin,' I mumble as I remember my ex. He's, well... a complicated person. Not only did he break up with me once, but he had the nerve to come back and ask me out again. Not that I rejected him, but I wish I did... because when he first broke up with me, we weren't in too deep, and now... well, it's almost as if I was in the Titanic submarine, sinking 13,000 feet deep.

Can I ever move on from him? I wonder as I continue reading the book. Over time, I've shown almost all of my friends his photo and described his personality... well, all I heard was, "If you're going to love a red flag, at least love a handsome red flag. That guy looks like literal poo" or something similar.

My mind constantly wanders to these thoughts, urging me to move forward and find someone who truly appreciates me. As I flip the pages of my book, my imagination comes to life. I start picturing a kind, handsome guy, another guitarist who would treat me with the respect I deserve. I dream of our serendipitous meeting in the upcoming music classes I am signed up for in a few months. In my daydream, our connection would be a secret shared between just the two of us, a bond formed through our love of music and whispered dreams. I smile at the thought of his affection, imagining how he might make me feel at home...

But what scares me about these thoughts is the possibility that he might not even be real to begin with. What if I never meet someone like him? Reality terrifies me. I wish I could simply live off my imagination... Life would just be perfect.

He honestly seems so perfect and real... I could never actually make out his face nor how he really looked. I always imagined how he'd always understand me, be there for me and instead of pushing me to move on... he'd wait till I'm ready.

But what hurts me is when I remember my ex... Jonathan Elliott, It's hard to forget him, especially when I meet him every day at my school, When I still find him looking at me with his dark eyes... He is such a complicated person that its fucking annoying.

I am interrupted by the bell which rang from downstairs, It's probably my dad. My parents divorced a long time ago when I was 12 years and I choose to live with my mother, I never really liked my dad to be honest. I have to meet him every Wednesday or Thursday, Which is today.

I sigh, "and in three, two... One"

"June!" my mom called

I roll my eyes and get off of my comfy seat, I place the book on the couch and walk to my door. I open it and make my way downstairs to find my dad standing with the biggest smile I have seen him put on in probably my whole life.

"Hey dad" I put on a fake smile, giving him a hug Which I never put emotions to, He hugs me back lovingly,

Soon we parted, and He looked at my mom, She looked guilty over something.

"June, I have some news" My dad says, still smiling

"What is it?" I look at him, in confusion

"You're going to live with me from now on, Darling" he tells me, shaking my whole world...

I look over at my mom, feeling distant... I had the feeling which I couldn't name at all, not at all to be honest. I look back at him and smile softly, I want to ask him why but feeling as if its rude I just sigh,

"How?" I ask, I felt like crying, Though no tears escaped my eyes.

"It's hard to explain, How about I explain on the drive?" he suggested which I nodded back,

"When is that?" I ask

"tomorrow evening" he smiles as he pets me,

"Okay." I give him a smile back and run upstairs, I close my door and go back to where I was, Sitting on the couch and reading.

Yes, I felt upset, really upset to be honest. But how exactly am I supposed to name this emotion? I felt like someone and squeezing my heart, I felt like I wanted to cry. But no tears no nothing were left in my eyes,

I know now "why are you so upset about leaving your mother?" Well... You don't fucking know what type of my father is, He is no dad, He is a father who I feel shame to address.

And what I hate more is...I can never hate this man, No matter what... I am just a copy of him.

Why do I hate him? Well not all incidents should be remembered.

You know, some people don't deserve second chances, and some deserve to rot in hell. That's the type of man he is.

I hate reality.

...****************...

(authors note:, sorry everyone, My first language isn't English so there may be many mistakes, and I didn't mention June's trauma since it holds a part of the story which will be revealed soon. Thank you.)

(love you all <3)

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