My Perfect Pain
Chapter One: The Meet
I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at the face I saw every day but never truly recognized. Seventeen years old and still, every time I looked at my reflection, it felt like I was meeting a stranger. The contrast between my brown skin and the pale patches from the vitiligo seemed more prominent today, glaring back at me like a taunt. It wasn’t that I hated myself—at least, that’s what I told myself—it was that I didn’t know how to feel. Half the time, I wanted to be invisible. Other times, I wished I could stand out for the right reasons.
"You’re not ugly," I whispered, gripping the edge of the sink, my knuckles turning white. "You’re unique. Special. Handsome even, right?"
But the words felt hollow, like I was trying to convince myself of something I didn't believe. My brown eyes darted to the patches of skin along my jawline, my cheek, my neck—places where the pigment had disappeared. Every time I stepped outside, I could feel the stares, the whispers. I hated that I could never hide from it.
“Crisanto!” My mom's voice pierced through the quiet of the house. Before I could respond, she barged in, eyes wild with frustration. “Why aren't you at school? You skipped again?”
I straightened up, trying to seem calm, but my heart was racing. “I… I wasn’t feeling good.”
“Crisanto Chaves, how many times are you going to use that excuse?” She crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing. “Do you think I’m stupid? You’re going to ruin your future if you keep this up. You can’t just hide here!”
I clenched my jaw, resisting the urge to snap back. She didn’t get it. No one did. “Mom, it’s not like that—”
“It is like that,” she interrupted, stepping closer. “You have so much potential, but you’re wasting it. Do you know how much we’ve sacrificed for you? For you to just throw it away because you don’t feel like facing the world?”
“You don’t understand!” I finally snapped, the frustration boiling over. “It’s not just about school. It’s... it’s everything.”
Her expression softened for a split second, but then she sighed, as if exhausted by me. “You’re making it harder than it needs to be. Everyone has problems, Crisanto, but you have to face them. Skipping school won’t solve anything.”
Before I could respond, my dad’s voice thundered from down the hall. “What’s going on in there?”
I felt my chest tighten. Great, now Dad was involved. I couldn’t deal with both of them. I pushed past my mom, not caring about the way she called after me. I needed to get out of there, needed to breathe. The air in the house was suffocating, filled with expectations and disappointments that weighed me down.
I bolted out the front door, ignoring my dad’s voice echoing through the hallway. It was cold outside, the kind of cold that seeps into your bones and makes you shiver despite yourself. I pulled my jacket tighter around me, my breath coming out in short, sharp puffs as I made my way to the park. The streetlights flickered above me, casting long shadows on the ground.
The park was mostly empty, save for a few joggers in the distance. I sat on a bench near the trees, my thoughts swirling like the wind that rustled the branches overhead. I pulled out my phone, flipping through it mindlessly, trying to distract myself from the whirlwind inside my head. My fingers hovered over social media, but I didn’t have the energy to deal with the perfect lives displayed there. Instead, I stared at the empty screen, feeling more alone than ever.
That’s when it happened.
A sudden force slammed into me, and before I could react, I was flat on my back, my phone flying out of my hand. The wind was knocked out of me, and something heavy was on top of me. I groaned, blinking up at the dark sky, only to see a massive dog standing over me, panting, its tail wagging like it had just won a prize.
“What the hell?” I gasped, trying to push the dog off me. My heart was racing, half in panic, half in surprise.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” A voice called out from somewhere above me. “Zeus! Get off him!”
The dog – Zeus, apparently – barked once, then obediently stepped back, leaving me lying there in the cold grass, trying to catch my breath. I propped myself up on my elbows, and that’s when I saw him.
For a moment, I forgot how to breathe altogether.
The guy standing above me was tall—like, really tall, easily over six feet. His skin was pale, almost milky under the streetlights, and his green eyes shone brightly, almost like they were glowing in the dim light. His hair was a mess of curls, wild and unruly, but in a way that made him look effortlessly cool. He was dressed casually—jeans, a hoodie—but there was something about him that made my brain short-circuit.
“Are you okay?” he asked, concern lacing his voice as he extended a hand towards me.
I blinked, staring at his hand for a second longer than necessary before taking it. His grip was firm, his skin warm against mine as he helped me to my feet. For some reason, the touch sent a shiver down my spine, though I told myself it was just the cold.
“I-I’m fine,” I stammered, feeling like an idiot. “Just, uh, didn’t see that coming.”
He laughed, and the sound was deep, rich. It made something in my chest flutter in a way I wasn’t used to. “Yeah, sorry about that. Zeus gets a little too excited sometimes.”
I glanced down at the dog, who was now sitting obediently beside him, tongue lolling out, looking as innocent as ever. “It’s okay. He’s... big.”
The guy chuckled again. “Yeah, he doesn’t know his own strength.”
There was an awkward pause, and I realized I was still staring at him. I quickly looked away, feeling heat rise to my cheeks, which was probably noticeable because of the contrast between my skin tones. Damn vitiligo.
“I’m Crisanto,” I blurted out, feeling like I needed to say something to fill the silence. “But you can call me Cris.”
“I’m—” He stopped himself, looking like he was about to say something, but instead, he just smiled. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Cris. I better get Zeus out of here before he knocks someone else over.”
He turned to leave, and for a split second, I panicked. I wanted to ask for his name, to say something, anything to keep him there a little longer, but the words were stuck in my throat. Instead, I just stood there like an idiot, watching him walk away, his dog trotting happily beside him.
As soon as he was out of sight, I groaned and ran a hand through my hair. “You’re an idiot,” I muttered to myself. I didn’t even get his name.
I turned and started walking back home, my thoughts spinning. I couldn’t stop thinking about him—his laugh, his eyes, the way his hand had felt in mine.
And I hated myself a little for it, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to forget that beautiful stranger.
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