one day in JK's mind

Jungkook POV

"Welcome home Kookie" whispered Jimin hyung in my ear. I looked at him. He was wearing his cute eye-smile and he was still holding my hand. We took our shoes off (he helped me because my back was hurting) and we went -still holding hands- to the living room. We sat on the couch and he relased my hand.

"It became sweaty" he said, chuckling. The other members entered the living room as well. Tae hyung pushed Jimin hyung away and sat at my left. Jimin fell on the floor and looked at Taehyung with confusion.

"Let me be by your side Kookie, I want to take your hand too" said Tae hyung, taking my hand immediatly.

"O-okay..." I answered, looking at Jimin with an apologetic look. He shrugged and went to the kitchen.

"V-yah ! Do you want some candies ?" asked Hobi hyung.

"Yes !" said V hyung, instantly going to sit beside Hobi hyung. I mouthed him a small 'Thank you' and he winked at me. Jin hyung came to sit at my right and Yoongi hyung at my left.

"So, what do you want to eat Kookie ?" asked me Jin hyung.

"Uhm... I don't know... Kimchi jjigae ? With a lot of meat ?" I replied, making the cutest face I could.

"Okay ! I'm going to ask Jiminie for help" he said and went to the kitchen.

I looked at my left and saw Yoongi hyung staring at me.

"Yes ?" I said.

"Nothing. I'm analyzing you."

"Why ?"

"Because you're cute." he said, smiling.

"Okay..." I replied, standing up to go in my room. I opened the door, entered, closed it and went to lay in my bed. But I saw only one bed. It was a king-sized one and I concluded that maybe I was sharing the room with Jimin hyung and not RapMon hyung like I remembered. 

I made my way to the bed to lie on the left side and stared at the ceiling.

I was eating with all the members. We were chatting, laughing, joking around with each other. I was looking at Jimin, who was seated in front of me. He was smiling so wide and he looked so happy, I couldn't help but smile as well. Seeing him happy was priceless. I hoped that I would always see his smile. He noticed my stare and looked at me, laughing. His tinkling laugh took me out of my daze and he asked

"Were you checking me out Jungkook ? Analyzing my pretty features ?"

"Wh-what , N-no ! I was thinking, that's all" I replied, feeling myself blush.

"Yes, you were thinking about how I am so beautiful" he teasingly said.

"If you want. I don't care." I said, annoyed. "I'm full".

I left the table and went to my room. There were two beds, separated.  Wasn't there a big bed ? I shrugged and went to lay on my bed. I took my phone out with my earphones and listened to some ballads to stop thinking about Jimin.

Just when I was about to fall asleep, someone opened the door. I acted like I was sleeping. The person made its way towards my bed and I knew who it was from the scent. Jimin.

"I know you're not sleeping Jungkook. We need to talk" he said. I groaned and sat up.

"What do we need to talk about ?" I said with an annoyed tone.

"Don't take this tone when you're talking to me Jeon Jungkook. I'm your hyung !" he said, angry.

I was utterly shocked. He never spoke to me like that. He must have noticed my expression because he immediatly sat next to me.

"I'm sorry Jungkook. I'm sorry." No hug. No nickname. NOTHING. What's the matter ?

"Just... Go out hyung. I don't want to talk to you right now. Get out." I said, before lying back and hide under the blanket. He stood there a few seconds before standing up and left the room.

Then, I started to cry. I didn't know why. My heart was hurting. As I cried, I began to mumble

"Jimin... Jimin... Jimin..." The mumbles gradually got louder until I was crying out loud my hyung's name.

"JIMIN ! JIMIN ! JIMIN !"

"JUNGKOOK  !" I heard someone calling my name and woke up. "What's wrong ? Were you having a nightmare ?" It was Suga hyung.

I was relieved that all this was just a dream. I wouldn't want to live without Jimin's tenderness, even in my dreams. I couldn't live without it.

"Kook ? Why are you crying ?" asked Suga hyung. I touched my cheeks and realised that I was crying.

"H-hyung... I had a horrible nightmare... Jimin hyung was... cold with me... He wouldn't hug me or call me by my nickname..." I replied. He smiled.

"Kookie... Do you like Jimin ?"

"Yes, he's a good hyung and-"

"You know what I mean. Do you have romantic feelings towards him ?"

I wasn't surprised by his question. When I was at the hospital, I kept asking myself the same question, and I was in the same spot.

"I think that... I don't know. He said that he is in love with me and I... don't know." I sighed.

"He told me that you asked him about your feelings. What are you feeling ?" he asked me.

"When he is with me, I would feel my temperature rising, my heart would be beating fast and I'd feel like butterflies in my belly. He said that he was feeling the same and that it was... love" I said, embarrassed.

"And what do you think it is ?"

"I don't really know. Somehow, I want it to be love too but I feel like something's missing. I think that the feeling of love should be more passionate and I don't feel this passion. Maybe I'm just very attached to him and because I just met him and he told me that he loves me, I mistook that with love" I answered.

Suddenly, he hugged me tight, stroking my hair. I closed my eyes and leaned in his touch, hugging him too.

"Kookie~ !" The door opened, my eyes as well and I saw Jimin hyung standing at the door, his smile disappearing. He abruptly turned around and went back. I freed myself from Yoongi hyung's embrace. All of a sudden, I felt guilty and worried.

"Oh my gosh... He's going to misunderstand. I must talk to him." I said and stood up, Yoongi hyung behind me. We arrived in the living room and sat with the others at the table. Jimin was sitting in front of me, inhaling his food without uttering a word. I kept looking at him, eating and I just wanted him to smile and laugh like the others. He looked at me and I kept staring in his eyes.

"What are you looking at ?" he said, coldly.

"N-nothing. I was just thinking." I said, my heart clenching at his tone.

"Think without looking at me." he replied and went on eating. I was shocked. It felt like my dream was becoming real. I stood up.

"I'm full" I said and ran to my room, tears already rolling down my face. I wrapped myself in my blanket and began to cry my eyes out. I was scared and hurt. Someone entered the room and came to sit beside me.

"Jungkook. Don't cry." It was Jin hyung.

"I-I can't h-hyung... It hurts so much here." I turned to him, clenching my shirt where my heart was.

"You need to calm down Kookie. Breathe." he said, patting my chest. I slowly started to calm down, still crying but my breath steadying.

Someone barged in the room and came over. I suddenly fell warmth embrace my body and I stopped shouting Jimin's name.

"Kook-ah..." It was V hyung. "Are you crying ? Why ? What happened ?"

"N-nothing. I don't want to t-talk about it" I said and pushed him softly indicating him to let go of me.

"You know you can tell me everything, right ? My relationship with Jimin doesn't change anything between us."

"What relationship ?" I was afraid that I understood why Jimin was cold with me.

"Y-you don't know ?" V asked, stuttering.

"Know what ?" I said, voice shaking a bit.

"Jimin and I are together. It's been a week."

I couldn't breathe anymore. My whole world crumbled at this moment.

"Who knows ? Does everyone know ?"

"Yes."

I was feeling betrayed. I was really mad.

"You're such... TRAITORS ! BOTH OF YOU ! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD MAKE FUN OF ME ? NO WONDER HE WAS BEING DISTANT ! YOU'RE SUCH AWFUL COWARDS ! KNOWING HOW I FEEL AND NOT TELLING ME ANYTHING ! GET LOST !"

I pushed him off my bed, went to the entrance, all the members shocked at my behaviour. I put my shoes on, grabbed my jacket and went out. I walked straight to a park who was near the house and sat down in a bench. I took some rocks which were at my feet and began throwing them with as much strenght as I could. I was crying once again of sadness and anger. I shouted at the top of my lungs and tried to grab my phone in my pocket to check the time. Then, I remembered that I had left it on the bedside table in my room and sighed. I brought my legs at my chest and put my arms around them, burying my head between my knees, sobbing. It was around 10 P.M and even if it was summer, I was starting to feel cold. I must have stayed in the park, on the bench for about 40 minutes when I heard someone call me.

"Jungkook !"

I lifted my head to look around me and saw someone running towards me. It was dark around me so I couldn't recognize the person until he sat beside me, giving me another jacket. It was Jimin.

"Are you crazy ?! You're tired of living ?! You can't go out of the house without saying anything !" He was at the verge of crying. It angered me even more.

"You dare to worry about me, you traitor ?" I said.

"What ? What are you talking about ?"

"Your boyfriend didn't tell you what happened ?"

"What boyfriend ? I don't have a boyfriend !" He dares lying to me ?

"LIAR ! TAE HYUNG TOLD ME EVERYTHING ! WHAT WERE YOU WAITING TO TELL ME THAT YOU WERE TOGETHER ?"

I began to punch his chest until he held both of my wrists and looked at me with serious eyes.

"I don't know what Tae told you but I can certify that we aren't together. I have someone else in my heart." 

He took hold of my hands and squeezed them. I was relieved that he wasn't in a relationship with anyone.

"Do I know this someone ?" I asked.

"Yes. You know him very well."

He then got close to me and hugged me tight. It was the best hug I ever had in my whole life and it was full of emotions. He then loosened his grip and kissed my forehead.

I woked up, all of a sudden, in someone's arms. This person was probably sleeping and I couldn't see his face. I was going to stand up when the embrace tightened.

"Don't move Kookie".  Jimin hyung.

I took his arms off of me and stood up. I went to the kitchen and sat there. I took some snacks out and began munching them sleepily while thinking about the dream I just had. I was so concentrated that I didn't saw Jimin hyung sitting in front of me with a glass of juice.

"Do you have something in mind ?" he asked. I jumped in surprise, hearing his voice. He chuckled and tilted his head.

"Would you tell me if you had problems ?" he asked me again. I nodded before feeling a bit dizzy.

"If you tell me what's bothering you, maybe I can help you" he said, smiling so wide that his eyes disappeared.

"Hyung, you are so cute, you know ? I won't tell you" I said, unknowingly. It was like I had my answer prepared. He began to whine.

"Why~~ ? Tell me~ !"

Then, I felt my head spinning fast and a strong déjà-vu impression hit me. I tried to stand up but I immediatly fell. Jimin caught me just in time. At that time, everything became hazy.

"Kim Taehyung ! Where are you ? Come out right now !" was shouting Jimin hyung in all the house. He had intertwined our fingers before leaving the park and hadn't let go of my hand since then.

"Shut the f*** up ! We are sleeping ! You must go to sleep too if you don't want to die" said Yoongi hyung, coming out of his room.

"Tae nearly ruined my life hyung ! So back off and let me go kill him, right now." Yoongi hyung seemed really scared so he went back in his room.

Jimin barged in J-Hope and V's room and let go of my hand to wake the latter up.

"Get up you crazy guy. GET UP !" 

Taehyung got up and asked

"What's happening ? Do you have a problem ?"

"Yes, I have a problem. You. Why did you say to Kookie that we were together ? Have you gone mad ?"

"But it is the truth ! We kissed ! So we are together." said V hyung. What ? They kissed ?

"No, we didn't kiss ! You kissed me. I didn't return it. You have no right to claim me yours." said Jimin before turning around and coming to me.

"But I love you !" screamed V hyung. J-Hope has awakened too by now and wasn't understanding anything.

"No, Tae. You don't love me. You just need someone to care for you. And I can't. We are bestfriends and we can't be more than that. And Hoseok hyung here loves you so you better go to him" said Jimin hyung and we got out of their room to go to our.

"So, you kissed ?" I said, lying down.

"No Kook. He kissed me. Not me. Him." replied Jimin.

"But he got to taste your lips before me. It's unfair.' I pouted. He smiled.

"He didn't have the real taste. You're the one that will ever know it."

"Kookie... Jungkook ! Wake up !" Jimin hyung's voice was echoing in my ears as I slowly regained consciousness. I opened my eyes and realised that I was lying on the couch in the living room with everyone around me.

"Hyung... What happened ?" I asked.

"You passed out while we were talking in the kitchen" he answered, voice shaking.

"Here Jungkook. Take this" said Jin hyung, handing me a glass of water and two red pills. I slowly sat up, still feeling dizzy, and took them.

"What did you feel before passing out ?" asked Namjoon hyung.

"Uhm... A big déjà-vu impression. It was very scary" I replied, Jimin pushing me back down on the couch."And painful" I added. 

"Something else ?"

"Well... While talking to Jimin hyung, I said something unknowingly. Like I already knew what I'd say and it came out by itself."

"Okay. The doctor told us that it could happen when re-enacting some moments. Jimin, what did you re-enact ?" I looked at Jimin hyung.

"The day we reconciled, the exact moment." he answered. Were we arguing ?

"I see... Well, Jungkook, it's better if you go to sleep even if it's only 3P.M" said Namjoon hyung. "Jimin, can you take him to his bed ?"

"Sure. Come on Kookie" said Jimin, helping me to stand up from the couch. We walked to the room, I laid in the bed and he covered me with the blanket without saying anything. He was still upset, I could sense it so I decided to speak.

"Hyung, don't misunderstand."

"What ?"

"What you saw earlier between Yoongi hyung and me-"

"I don't wanna know. Because I love you doesn't mean that you're mine. If you prefer Yoongi hyung, It's okay, you can do what you want. I just want you to be happy" he said.

I was hurt and angry. He didn't listen to me at all. I didn't know what to say so he took my silence as agreeing with what he said and left. I was left there, lying in this stupid bed, thinking about Jimin, once again. I was fed up of this, of him. I couldn't stop thinking about him and it bothered me. I decided to stop dealing with him. What was the point if he didn't let me explain the situation ? He said he shouldn't claim me ? Okay, so I won't think of myself as his as well.

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