chapter 3

“Don’t wanna be lonely

Just wanna be yours”

Taehyung woke up after he had an episode, and he frowned when he had on the straight-jacket still. He tried getting out of it and saw his baby laying down in the cold room without his warm embraced. He began to scream and yell at the top of his lungs. He heard nurses rush inside and he looked at them with a panicked face and began shouted, “MY BABY!! SHE’S COLD!!! SHE NEEDS ME!!!”

The nurse’s unstrapped Taehyung and he hurriedly rushed to his baby’s side picking her up and rocking her as he kept her close to his warm chest. He cried while he cradled her and kept saying, “I’m so sorry my baby…I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” He began to sob loudly and hated himself for letting his other side take over. He left his baby in danger, and he was now suffering all over again.

The nurses watched him for a bit to make sure he was going to be okay, then they took off locking the door behind them. Taehyung just sat alone once again and held his baby tighter.

Jungkook just showed up for work once again, and was ready to take on his night shift with a positive attitude this time and planned to just do his job without having to have the boy to make him curious. He had a good life, a good job, and no patient was going to take away from him. He made it his goal to try his hardest, and to not get tempted or tricked by Taehyung’s whacked out ways.

He walked to his closet and needed to pick up on the restrooms again. He gathered his supplies and headed to where he left off at. He heard a growl behind his ear, then the sound of someone barking at him. He kept walking to the room he needed to clean. As he approached the room, the person was not in the room, and he sighed of relief as he was not going to be bothered. Wrong. The man was in the restroom peeing all over the fuckin’ walls. Jungkook just stood there and closed his eyes as he wanted to just punch something. He waited for the man to be done, and once the man was done he smiled at Jungkook and said, “Now that’s art!” Jungkook balled up his fist and sucked in a deep breath. The man went about his merry way and left Jungkook to clean up his “art work.”

He was now done with them all, except Taehyung’s room, since it was locked and he couldn’t go near him. He was okay with that still, he didn’t want to get involved anyways. He started to do other tasks around the place, then once everyone started going in their rooms, he picked up on sweeping and moping.

He was now in the third hall and was feeling anxious since that’s where the boy stayed at. He quickly moped and knew since the night was still early, the boy would be still locked up. But as he passed his room, he saw the boy’s face peering out the small window looking at him.

He looked away and pretended like it didn’t happen. He quickly and quietly moved along and made his way to the end of the hall. As he reached the last hall, he smiled as he was almost done with no distractions. Now with the fourth hall finished up, Jungkook smiled and felt accomplished at this work at bay. As he began to walk up the hall he saw the boy standing in the middle of the walkway to turn into the third hall, where the boy slept.

Jungkook froze and lowered his gaze as he walked around the young boy. “I’m sorry,” Taehyung said as he saw the man walk his way around him.

Jungkook stopped in his tracks.

“I know I’m crazy, but I promise I don’t mean to go off. I’m just fucked up in my head,” the boy said as he held his doll closer to him.

Jungkook wanted to walk forward, he really did, but the tone in his voice said another story. “Please don’t talk to me,” Jungkook said in a serious voice. He knew he shouldn’t have said those words, but if he didn’t tell the boy, then he wouldn’t be able to work the way he needed to. He didn’t know why the boy was clinging to him.

Taehyung began to walk closer to him and said, “I’m scared of myself.”

Jungkook ignored him and shrugged. He didn’t want any more interaction with him. He walked back to his supply room to put his mop and bucket away. He didn’t have the time to deal with him. There were doctors and nurses for that, not him. What the hell could he do for someone with an illness? He had his own problems to deal with, not anyone else’s. Jungkook kept his distance from the boy and worked better without being followed.

It was now his break time and he went outside for some fresh air, since being stuck all night in the hospital was too closed in for his taste. He walked to a nearby bench table that was placed in the yard and sat down holding his stomach. He forgot to get his food and was very hungry. He groaned and just suffered through it. He’ll just eat at home anyways, even though he still had a few hours of work left.

Hoseok walked outside and joined him on the table. He had his dinner with him, and Jungkook just eyed it, then looked the other way. He was almost tempted to ask for a piece of his pizza. Hoseok tore a piece off and handed it to Jungkook. Jungkook just looked at him and dumbly just took it.

“So how’s your job going? Is it everything you’d hoped it would be?” Hoseok smirked then took a bite of his pizza.

“It’s okay…the other patients I’m getting used to, they have their weird moments, but you guys always rush to them, so I feel safe. I don’t know how any of you have the patience to tend to all of them, then again, you signed up for all this so I’m sure you adapt to it all.” Jungkook was still hungry, but he held it in.

“It’s still a stressful job though, but we’ve seen so many recover and get the help they need. If we can try to help them and get them back to reality, then our jobs make us more hardworking. It’s like a reward to us. Even though a lot of people won’t recover, we still take care of them and try to help them. We think of it as ‘what if it was our own family in here’ type of thing. They belong to someone out there too, but families can’t handle them. Or like many cases, they have no family, or anyone to really care about them,” Hoseok said as he sighed.

Jungkook just stared at the table and thought of Taehyung and what he said. Why was he scared of himself? He remembers him telling him that everyone ignores him. Did he not have family to visit him or anyone at all? Hell, he’d go crazy himself if he was locked away in a room with no one for years. His heart pained him a bit whenever he thought of the boy crying and holding his baby. Maybe that’s why he was so attached to his doll, maybe it was his only comfort he got.

He treated the doll as if she was real. Maybe deep down he wanted her to be real so he could have a friend, and someone by his side. Was that why he was scared of himself? No real contact was making him more crazy? He didn’t know the truth, but he was going to assume that for now. Now he felt bad that he ignored the boy after the boy opened up to him on how he felt. He made the boy feel even sadder now. Jungkook shook his head and tried to grip reality. He was here to work, nothing more.

“So you’re in a relationship?” Hoseok asked trying to change the quiet mood.

Jungkook snapped out of his daze and said, “Huh? Oh…yeah I am. Her name is Emma. She’s a care taker for the elderly, and she’s pretty awesome.” Jungkook smiled as he thought of his girlfriend. She was his number one supporter in everything that he did.

Hoseok nudged him and chuckled, “In love, are we?”

Jungkook did a goofy grin and nodded his head shyly.

“Lucky. I can’t seem to get a girlfriend with my hectic schedule here,” he said thumbing the back of his shoulder to the building. “I did date one girl from here, but relationships here don’t last. Besides once you got to know her, you’d think she was a patient here,” Hoseok laughed.

Jungkook laughed with him; he really did like the nurse. He made him feel at ease all the time when he was working. Jungkook noticed the stars and wondered if the boy has seen the stars. He turned to Hoseok and said, “Can patients come outside and stuff?”

Hoseok nodded his head while his mouth was full and barely managed to say, “Yes.” Hoseok swallowed his pizza and said, “Yeah, they come outside every Friday if they want.

Jungkook was hesitant to ask about Taehyung, but he really wanted to know. He bit his lip and just took a chance with it. “How about Taehyung? Does he go outside?” He studied Hoseok face when he asked and he didn’t seemed bothered by it.

“Nah. He doesn’t want go outside, he feels better in the halls, I guess. He really doesn’t do anything, but walk alone and have his episodes…that’s pretty much it. As a matter of fact,” he said turning to Jungkook. “He seems to cling to you. He’s never done that with anyone, and I mean anyone. Sure in the past he stared and followed the janitor’s out of curiosity, but never stayed by their side as much as he does to you. Weird,” Hoseok said rubbing his chin. “I guess, ‘cause you look around his age or close to it.”

Jungkook played with his hands as he was thinking. He couldn’t stop thinking of Taehyung and it was eating him alive inside. He didn’t want to fired or anything either, but at the same time…they boy was maybe trying to reach out to him. He wanted to scream in frustration, but held it in, in front of Hoseok. Jungkook stood up and said to Hoseok, “I better go back in, my time is almost done.”

Hoseok look up at him and said, “Yeah! I’ll see you inside in a bit!”

Jungkook waved him bye and walked back in the hospital. He went walking down the hall where he saw Jimin and Namjoon talking and looking over paperwork. Jungkook waved at them and went walking to his closet. Taehyung stood around the corner crying softly while squeezing his baby. Right away Jungkook felt like going over to him and asking if he was alright, but he knew the answer already.

Taehyung looked up and saw Jungkook. He quickly wiped his tears and placed a small smile on his face. He saw Jungkook walk past him with his head down and Tae followed him closely again. He was happy to see the janitor. He didn’t know why he would feel like this, it just made him comfortable to be by his side.

Jungkook looked out the corner of his eye and saw Taehyung so close, that if he stopped abruptly he would run into his body. Jungkook didn’t feel scared anymore after a while, he didn’t think his episodes would freak him out either at this point. He was after all, a damaged soul. Jungkook was at his closet looking for something to clean the walls with again, he swore it’s like one minute they’re clean and next they’re back to being filthy. He grabbed what he needed and headed to the first hall where he saw some more ‘shit’ on the walls. He turned around and saw the boy squatting on the ground still hugging his baby. He stopped next to him and just stood there for a few seconds not looking at him.

Then he began to push his cart, and take off down the hall. Taehyung smiled and took it as a sign to follow him. He happily sat up and kissed his baby on the top of her head, then whispered something in her ear. Jungkook held back a smile and was glad the boy understood him, even if no words were exchanged.

He walked down the first hall and waved at Namjoon who just waved back looking confused at him. Jungkook could tell he wanted to say something, but he didn’t, he just watched him walk by with the boy following closely. He got started on his job and began cleaning the mess that was made. He didn’t want to look at Taehyung, and make him start screaming so he played it cool to quickly look at what the boy was doing. He was laying on the cold floor with the baby hovering over his face. He was playing with her as he was cleaning up. It was cute. Crazy, but cute.

Taehyung played with his baby and then stared at Jungkook. He smiled and began to laugh loudly as he started to roll around the floor. He saw the nurse Jimin and waved at him, getting an odd look in return. He crawled on the floor to go back to the janitor who was still scrubbing the walls. He rolled up in a ball and just laid right next to his feet.

Jimin walked up to Taehyung and said, “I told you to stay away from him. I don’t need you acting up tonight.” Jimin looked away from the boy’s eyes and waited for an answer.

Taehyung looked up at Jimin and shook his head. “I’m staying here.” Taehyung was keen on staying put where he felt like he belong, the sudden thought of being alone felt like a shadow that what was ready to swallow him whole. He didn’t want that feeling, it was scary.

“No, you’re not. Come on, get up! Let’s go for a walk someone else. He needs to work without you following him,” Jimin said motioning him to stand on his own.

Taehyung curled up his body and stayed by Jungkook’s boots. He wasn’t going to go, he didn’t want to.

Jungkook looked at Jimin and gave a small shrug. He didn’t want Taehyung to leave either, he felt like this was what the boy needed; company. Even if he didn’t look at Taehyung, talk to Taehyung or touch him, he felt like they could communicate without it.

Namjoon walked towards the trio and led Jimin away from the duo. Jimin gave Namjoon a look as he was being dragged away. “Do you see a change in Taehyung’s behavior?” Namjoon said looking at the boy.

Jimin looked and just saw how he got in the way of the night time janitor. “No…what? He’s not letting him breath. I don’t want him flipping out again.”

Namjoon said, “Look. He’s never been like that before. It seems he became attached to Jungkook in a way. I think it’s because there’s no one else at night to walk with him or anything that he simply found himself a new partner.”

Jimin now understood. “Ahhh, okay now I see it. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. I’m just afraid of what Taehyung could do though…”

“That’s why we have to watch him closely. Maybe Jungkook could be the one who opens his heart and helps cure him. Let’s just wait and see what happens,” Namjoon said still looking at the Taehyung who was smiling looking at Jungkook’s face.

Jungkook finished up the mess on the walls and waved to Jimin and Namjoon who just stared at him. He walked down the hall with a giggling Taehyung by his side, and for the first time, it was a nice feeling.

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