4

When Jimin woke up he was in a quiet hospital room. The room was shrouded in shadows cast by the light of the moon through the window. He was still wearing an oxygen mask and two bags hanging above him were slowly dripping liquid into his veins. He took a deep breath only to immediately regret it, it felt like he was being stabbed in the chest. Not magically healed in a few hours then, he thought.

He then felt the pressure against his left hand resting on his stomach and noticed the figure next to him. A mop of brown hair was splayed out on the bedsheets, some strands resting against the side of Jimin's right thigh. The boy was sitting in an armchair that was pushed as close to the bed as humanly possible, head resting next to Jimin's leg and his hand holding Jimin's. Jungkook's face was facing Jimin and he could get a good look of his features. His eyes were closed, but the skin around them was slightly red as if the boy had been crying. He looked slightly pale and even in his seemingly peaceful sleep Jimin could see a small frown forming on the boy's face. Jimin couldn't help brushing a few strands of hair out of the boy's face, the tips of his fingers brushing against the soft skin of Jungkook's cheek.

Just as he was about to put his hand back down next to him a violent cough forced its way up Jimin's chest. He doubled over from the sheer force, and a bit from the pain. The action woke up the sleeping boy next to him.

"Jimin, hey, are you okay?" Jungkook was looking at him with huge eyes filled with worry. He looked exhausted. If Jimin had suspected the taller boy had cried when his eyes were closed he was one hundred percent sure of it now, Jungkook's eyes were red and bloodshot.

"I'm fine, it was just a cough. I'm okay." His voice sounded slightly muffled from behind the mask. He patted Jungkook's hand reassuringly, an empty gesture he'd learned calmed people down in these kinds of situations. It seemed to relax the boy a bit, his shoulders visibly lowered and the panic in his eyes lessened. He didn't look entirely relaxed though, but Jimin couldn't blame him. If what he had looked like the other times he had been admitted was anything to go by he must look dreadful now. His voice was rough and his breathing was far from back to normal. Yeah, he couldn't blame Jungkook if he wasn't entirely reassured by Jimin's words.

"What time is it?" Jimin had no idea how long he'd been asleep.

Jungkook took his phone out of his pocket and tapped on the screen. "Uhm, 4 AM."

"Damn, I was out for a while then. I always say I would be the worst junkie, I can't handle my ******** at all." Jimin laughed and playfully hit Jungkook's shoulder. "Sometimes I think they might not want me to wake up again."

"Jimin, what the ****." Jungkook looked horrified, as if Jimin had slapped him in the face. "How can you joke about that stuff when- when you- when you almost-" The boy's voice trailed off, he didn't seem to be able to finish his sentence. He grew angrier and exclaimed: "You were literally gasping for air a few hours ago, you looked so panicked. How can you pretend like everything is fine?"

Jimin sighed and closed his eyes. "Jungkook, do you seriously think this is the first time this has happened to me?" The anger painting the boy's face morphed into surprise, his lips parted and it looked like he might say something but Jimin didn't let him. "Well it isn't. This isn't the first time, it's not the second, it's not even the 10th. Of course I panic, it's not exactly pleasant not being able to breathe. But at this stage, when I'm in a room like this hours later I know I'm going to be fine. There's no use dwelling on it, if I did that every time I went to the hospital it would literally be the only thing I did. So yes, I'm sorry if me joking around right after almost dying makes you uncomfortable, but I have to do it because I don't want to think about the fact that I'm actually dying all the time."

Jimin didn't know why he said all of that, he'd never told anyone that before. Everyone would usually just accept the fact that Jimin joked about death a lot although most didn't like it, he guessed they thought he just had dark humour. He always pretended like everything was fine after he got seriously ill. He didn't like worrying the people around him, he didn't like when his family or his friends looked sad because he was born broken. It was better to put a smile on his face and start getting back to his regular life as fast as possible instead of wallowing in what-ifs and thinking about a day when he might not be so lucky.

The blonde boy opened his eyes and looked at Jungkook. The taller boy was looking at him with sad eyes. Jimin knew the look, it was pity. Damn it, he really didn't want that right now. "I told you not to look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"The big sad puppy eyes." Jimin gestured to the boy's eyes and continued. "You're pitying me again. I don't want it."

Jungkook buried his face in his hands and sighed loudly. Neither of the boys said anything for a while, they just sat there in silence, the only sound audible being the beeping from the monitors and other machinery surrounding Jimin's bed. Once again, he didn't feel like the silence was uncomfortable, despite the heavy topic they'd just discussed. It felt nice, just sitting in each other's presence.

"Did you talk to Hoseok?" Jimin finally asked when he remembered his friend would probably be worried sick.

Jungkook lifted his face from his hands, but he didn't look at Jimin. "Yeah, I called him just after they wheeled you into that room in the emergency room. He was pretty distraught."

Jimin could only imagine. It was the first time since he'd told Hoseok about his illness that the boy hadn't been the one to accompany him to the hospital. Not knowing what was happening to Jimin would probably have been very hard for his friend.

"I should text him, let him know I'm fine. Can you hand me my phone?" Jimin gestured towards his nightstand. Jungkook hurried to grab the phone from Jimin's jacket and handed it to him.

His phone had several new notifications, many were completely expected. There were a couple of texts from Hoseok just wanting to know if he was okay and asking him to text him when he woke up. There were also a few texts from Tae and Namjoon telling him to feel better soon and that they'd miss him for the rest of the trip. They obviously didn't know he was in the hospital, but Hoseok must have made up some excuse for why he wasn't at the cabin anymore.

What he hadn't expected were about 20 notifications from Jungkook, all between 8 and 9 PM. The boy had called him a dozen times and there were almost as many texts. Most of them were misspelled, like they had been written in a hurry. They ranged from desperate pleas of any sign of life from Jimin to a few cursing him for not replying.

Jimin looked up at Jungkook and the boy seemed to realise what the blonde was looking at because his face turned red in an instant. "Dude, you know I was unconscious right." Jimin laughed heartily, but stopping quickly because it hurt his chest too much.

Jungkook's face turned even more red, if that were even possible. "Well no, I thought you'd be awake. I may have yelled at the nurses a bit too." Jimin started laughing again, he couldn't help it. This was just too funny. "They wouldn't tell me anything, I just needed to know you were okay."

Jimin was very familiar with how the nurses ran the ward. It was almost impossible to get any information out of them, they often wouldn't even answer Jimin's questions and just say he'd have to wait for the doctor. He was also very familiar with the ward's visiting hours and 4 AM was definitely not on there.

"How did you get them to let you in?" Jimin was still giggling, one of his hands covering his mouth.

"I may have told them that my mum is a big donor to the hospital and I would tell her to withdraw her funding if they didn't let me see you." Jimin stopped laughing at that. The boy had gone to extreme lengths just to see him, just to make sure he was alright. Then he started laughing again because this situation was just absurd. ******* Jeon Jungkook, the bane of his existence, resorting to blackmail to see him.

"Omg I'm dying. You- you blackmailed the nurses?"

Jungkook shushed him, his eyebrows furrowed, but soon there was a familiar playful smile splayed across his lips. "Don't talk about that, you'll get me into trouble."

Jimin just shook his head and wiped the tears that had collected at the corner of his eyes from laughing so hard.

He sent a quick text to Hoseok telling him he was alright and received a reply less than a minute later filled with heart and praying hand emojis as well as a follow up text with a promise that his friend would come visit him in the morning. He also sent some thank you texts to his other friends and wished them a good rest of their trip. He finished off by sending a short text to his mum. She had made him promise to always tell her when something happened, especially now that they didn't live in the same city anymore. She knew how her son would rather hide things like this from her which was exactly why she had made him promise.

Jimin

Hi mum, I'm in the hospital. Pneumonia again, same old right.

I'll probably be here for a few days. I'm doing good though, no need to worry.

Love you, JM

He locked his phone and put it next to him on the bed and observed Jungkook's slumped form in the chair next to him. "Hey Jungkook, you can go now. You don't have to stay here, I'm alright now."

Jungkook looked almost offended at Jimin's words. "I'm not leaving." He scoffed.

"I'm fine, I've slept here alone loads of times. They'll probably ask me to start paying rent soon." Jimin joked.

"You shouldn't have to be alone here, I wouldn't want to be alone." Jimin was about to protest when Jungkook spoke again. "I told you before, I'm not leaving you."

The determination in the boy's eyes was enough for Jimin to silently nod an okay. Why did Jungkook care if Jimin was alone at the hospital? The boy hadn't shown any signs of caring about Jimin's mental state before, he usually didn't even ask him how he was. Besides, Jimin was alright now, there really wasn't any reason to worry.

A new coughing fit made Jimin double over in pain and once his heaving chest had calmed down he realised he had grabbed Jungkook's hand. He let go of it so fast one might have thought it had burnt him. He could feel his cheeks flush red. "Oh, sorry. I don't know why I did that"

"No, it's uhm- it's fine." Jimin snuck a glance at Jungkook, the boy looked just as embarrassed as he felt. The silence between them became slightly uncomfortable and they were avoiding each other's eyes. Finally, Jimin suggested they'd try to go back to sleep and Jungkook quickly agreed.

"Jungkook?" Jimin needed to ask the boy something before they went back to sleep.

"Mmh?" The boy answered while looking at something on his phone.

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" Jimin could hear the worry in his own voice, he just hoped Jungkook hadn't picked up on it.

"About this?" Jungkook furrowed his brows and locked his phone.

"Yeah, about me having- being sick I mean."

Jungkook gave him a faint smile. "Of course I won't."

Jimin nodded and gave him a quick smile back. He got more comfortable against the pillows in his bed and closed his eyes. Jungkook could tell everyone Jimin was sick, he could ruin his life if he wanted to. He'd just have to trust the boy. Surprisingly he felt like he could.

After some time, when Jungkook must have thought Jimin had fallen asleep, the boy could feel Jungkook grabbing his hand again. This time Jimin didn't let go.

---

When Jimin woke up again daylight was filling the room. He looked over to the armchair on his right side where Jungkook had sat, but the boy wasn't there anymore. A sudden felling of disappointment filled him at seeing the empty chair, he didn't want to admit it but he had been happy that Jungkook had stayed with him. It had made him feel surprisingly safe. He hadn't thought he needed anybody with him because he was used to staying at the hospital alone, but having the younger boy there had felt nice.

He had just decided to go to the toilet, the fluids that had been pumped into his veins seemed to have made it to his bladder, when the door opened. Hoseok stepped into the room with a cup of coffee in his hand, he gave Jimin a tired smile when he saw that the boy was awake. "Hey sleeping beauty, finally decided to wake up I see."

Jimin scoffed. "Yeah, maybe I should sleep a little longer so I don't have to look at your face." This was what he was used to, not eyes filled with worry and being reprimanded for joking around. He appreciated Hoseok's way of being there for him, he knew he cared and that he worried about Jimin but he also understood that acting normally would help him more than constantly being reminded of where he was and what had happened.

Hoseok hit him lightly and laughed while sitting down in the armchair previously occupied by Jungkook. "Yah, you love my face don't deny it."

"When did you get here?" Jimin wondered how long his friend had been sitting there, or maybe he was wondering how long Jungkook had been gone.

"About an hour ago. I wanted to go immediately when Jungkook called me but you had obviously taken my car. I actually managed to ride with that girl who sprained her ankle, her friend was taking her back to the dorms this morning." Hoseok laughed at that.

Jimin just nodded, fiddling with his fingers on top of the bedsheets. "So, what's the excuse this time?"

Hoseok had had to come up with loads of reasons for why Jimin would sometimes be absent for several days. The boy had become quite creative, the last time Jimin had ended up in the hospital he had told their friends that Jimin had suddenly gotten an audition for a K-drama and had to go to Jeju for a while. Jimin had cursed the red-haired boy for several days when their friends kept asking him for a clip of his audition and saying he had to invite them when he was nominated for an Oscar. The one he had hated the most though was when Hoseok had told them that Jimin had a fling with a boy from the year above him and that they had gone on a romantic getaway together. He had almost thrown Hoseok's favourite shoes in the fountain outside the main building on campus as revenge.

"Food poisoning." Hoseok replied nonchalantly.

Jimin raised an eyebrow. "Is that the best you could do? I think you're losing your touch."

"Oh believe me, I painted a pretty vivid picture of you in the bathroom with fluids coming out of both your-"

"Okay, okay I get it!" Jimin hurried to say.

He looked into his friends tired eyes, there were dark circles under them and he looked a bit pale. Here Hoseok was trying to make Jimin feel better when he had ruined the trip they both had looked forward to so much. He couldn't help but feel bad that his friend had to leave the trip early.

"Hobi, I'm sorry I ruined the trip."

"Don't worry about it, I was tired of being outside all the time anyway." Hoseok said with a chuckle. But Jimin didn't buy it, he knew how much both him and Hoseok had looked forward to this trip. He got a sinking feeling in his stomach when thinking about him being the reason why Hoseok couldn't enjoy his weekend off with the rest of their friends.

"No don't say that. I know how much fun you were having. I wish I hadn't ruined it, I always ruin-" but Jimin was cut off by Hoseok grabbing his hand.

"Hey, Jimin. Stop saying stuff like that. Sure, I had a great time on the trip, but that's not important okay? You're much more important to me, I'd miss a hundred vacations if it meant being there for you." Hoseok gave him a genuine smile, Jimin returned it and decided to change the subject. He wanted to know where Jungkook was so he decided to just ask.

"Where's Jungkook?"

"He went back to his apartment to take a shower and sleep for a couple of hours, it didn't look like he had slept much here in all honesty. He almost looked crappier than you." They both let out a laugh, Jimin's a bit forced. Maybe Jungkook had trouble sleeping sitting up, that was probably it.

"He said he'd come back in a few hours."

Jimin looked up at Hoseok in surprise. "Why? I mean he doesn't have to come back, you're here now."

"Do you not want him to come back?" Hoseok looked at him with a frown. "I know you don't always get along, but I think he just wants to make sure you're alright."

Jimin could feel his cheeks reddening again. Damn it. "No- I mean, yeah sure. I guess I don't mind." Hoseok looked at him with an amused grin but he didn't comment on the state of Jimin's face.

"Okay, I brought UNO. You up for losing for the tenth time in a row?"

---

The next few of days in the hospital went by quickly. Jimin slept a lot, slowly regaining his energy, and he had managed to watch a whole season of 'Game of Thrones'. He'd also reread 'War of the Worlds' which his roommate had kindly brought for him. Hoseok was there whenever he was allowed, unlike Jungkook he didn't have a parent he could use as blackmail to stay longer. Hoseok would fill him in on what their friends were up to, he would always tell some funny story about one of them to cheer Jimin up since he missed everyone. Today's anecdote had been about Taehyung, apparently the boy had accidentally tipped his jug for cleaning dirty brushes over a girl's head in his painting class. She had taken her revenge by dumping an entire jug of brown paint over the poor boy.

"You should have seen his face-" Hoseok could barely get his words out, he was laughing so hard, tears threatening to fall from his eyes any second.

Hoseok would also sneak in some fast food when the nurses weren't looking, knowing how much Jimin hated hospital food. He had become quite good at smuggling in all kinds of thing for the blonde boy over the last year. Jimin needed to keep his nutrition up if he wanted to go home soon and he did not want to eat another portion of the grey stuff they usually served on Wednesdays.

Jimin was just finishing the last of today's feast, a burger and lots of greasy fries, when there was a knock on the door. He looked up from the mess of greasy napkins and spilt dressing on his table to see Jungkook peaking his head through the door.

Jungkook had visited him every day, just like Hoseok. He'd usually come at night after he'd finished his homework or gone for a run with Taehyung, his blackmail of the nurses apparently still in effect. He didn't stay long, they talked for a bit and then the boy would tell him goodnight and leave him alone again. There was no trace of the worried and sad Jungkook who had been sitting in the armchair next to him a few days ago. No, he was now back to his old teasing ways and his eyes were dark and unreadable like they had been before.

"You've got dressing on your face you slob." Were the first words that came out of the taller boy's mouth as he closed the door to Jimin's room, a smirk on his pink lips.

"Hello to you too asshole." Jimin threw back at him while he picked up one of the few still clean tissues laying in front of him. He tried to wipe his face as Jungkook sat down next to him.

Jungkook was dressed in a pair of black sweatpants and an oversized white hoodie, his skin slightly flushed. His hair was fluffy, newly washed, and fell perfectly over his face.

"I thought you were getting rid of that thing today." Jungkook said and pointed to the oxygen cannula still attached to Jimin's nose. They had tried to have him breathe without oxygen at different points during the day, but his saturation would always dip down below 90% whenever they did so it had to stay on for the time being.

"Yeah well, I can't keep my oxygen levels up yet, but they managed to lower it a bit more." Jimin had desperately hoped he would be off oxygen by the end of today because he knew that as long as he was oxygen dependent he had no chance of being let home. Jimin's disappointment must have shown on his face because Jungkook changed the subject.

"Did Hoseok tell you about Taehyung's paint incident?" Jimin looked up at the mischievously smiling boy.

"Yeah, I wish I could have seen it. It sounded like it was hilarious. Hoseok almost fell out of his chair while he was telling me." Jimin laughed heartily, covering his mouth with one of his hands.

"I've got pictures." Jungkook's smirk grew even wider as he pulled out his phone. They looked at shot after shot of a paint-covered Taehyung looking absolutely miserable standing in the cafeteria. Both of the boys were laughing so hard that Jimin hadn't noticed how close him and Jungkook had gotten. The taller boy was practically leaning on Jimin, his face only a few centimetres from his own. He could smell Jungkook's orange blossom shampoo.

Jungkook eventually leaned back in his chair again when he had run out of pictures to show. He put his phone back in his pocket, opened his backpack and took some papers out and handed them to Jimin.

"This is the new assignment for photography class, it's a group project." Jimin quickly skimmed the text, they were supposed to take a series of three pictures that told a story and evoked happiness. "I said we would do it together."

Jimin looked at the boy sitting next to him with a frown on his face. "Why?"

Jungkook rolled his eyes. "I thought since you weren't there you wouldn't want to be paired up with just anyone. Don't worry you don't have to do it with me if you don't want to, I can talk to Ms. Kim and see if you can switch."

"No, it's fine." Jimin looked back at the papers. A group project with Jungkook. A week ago that would have been his absolute worst nightmare, but now the thought didn't seem so bad. Jimin smiled slightly and read through the instruction again.

"I brought the camera with me, I thought we could get started and take some pictures here and see how we go." Jungkook said while bending down and grabbing the camera out of his bag. "I don't know, maybe we could work around a theme of warmth or something."

"You can't be serious Jungkook." Jimin looked at him incredulously. "We're not doing this project in my hospital room, I can't think of anything worse fitting for a project aiming to evoke happiness. What are we going to take photos of first, the sad picture-less wall I stare at every day or the beeping monitors constantly reminding us of how I almost died a few days ago."

Jungkook looked visibly uncomfortable. He directed his gaze down at the camera and fiddled with the strap. Jimin had meant it as a joke but maybe he had sounded a bit more bitter than he meant to.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think it through." The boy mumbled, still looking down at the camera.

"Don't apologise. Let's just think of something else." Jimin gave Jungkook a small smile and the boy nodded. They started talking about different motifs and themes they could use and Jungkook told him about a place near a stream he really liked. Jimin thought it sounded like a good place to start and the boys planned to go there once Jimin got discharged from the hospital.

When their conversation died down Jungkook looked at his watch. "I should probably get going, I've got an 8AM class tomorrow." The boy stood up, picked his bag up from its spot next to the armchair and started making his way towards the door.

"You better be rid of that oxygen thing when I come back tomorrow or I won't visit you anymore" Jungkook said, giving Jimin a teasing grin.

Jimin rolled his eyes at the boy. "Oh, and what a tragedy that would be."

Jungkook laughed, gave the blonde boy a last wave and slipped out through the door.

Jimin had trouble falling asleep that night, he wasn't sure why sleep didn't come to him. It didn't have anything to do with stress or difficulty breathing which were the usual reasons he couldn't sleep. When he finally drifted off his mind lingered on the familiar scent of orange blossom shampoo.

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