Chapter 1

Summary:

A bond between souls is ancient – older than the planet.

It’s a blessing and a curse to have a soulmate. It’s...complicated to say the least. Some are willing to argue to the death that everything you endure on the journey to forever is worth it for the love of your soulmate, but others would argue that those people have just been brainwashed by the soul connection. The constant arguing is only exacerbated by the existence of the unmatched, those without a soulmate, because for every happy soulmate pair there is a happy unmatched couple and for every soulmate connection that ends in tragedy there's an unmatched person leading a life that's just as hard and unfulfilled.

The debates surrounding soulmates always seem to focus on whether soulmates are a gift or a punishment for those who have them. Those who are matched.

The soulmate process is something that every person in the world has to learn about whether in school or through word of mouth. It takes over a month to cover all of the intimate details of the soulbond, but it's generally enough to convince a person of whether or not they want to finish their soul connection.

When a person is born they get to live a nice, calm uncomplicated life until the ripe age of thirteen which is when the soul connection forms and suddenly their head is invaded and they can hear the thoughts of their soulmate (if they’re older) whether they want to or not. It’s a constant unfettered look into the life of their soulmate. As they get older they learn to tune out the noise and focus on other things, but the first few weeks are so distracting that students have to give notice to their teachers when the connection is established and no one blames them for not coming to school and if they did no one blamed them for being constantly distracted.

Hearing another voice in their head is only mildly terrifying given how much preparation they're given beforehand, but the experience is made completely terrifying when the voice in their head is in another language, as it often is. There have been many tales of soulmates who never got to meet because they both speak such obscure languages that they can’t learn to communicate with one another because neither can recognize the other's language. In most cases, though, soulmates are able to identify one another’s language and one or both will learn enough of the other’s language to start talking. The cutest “my soulmates speaks another language” stories always seemed to be those where the soulmates are able to teach one another their language, slowly growing closer as they start understanding each another.

Honestly, if the whole business of soulmates stopped right there with the biggest obstacle being that the person might not understand them then more people would probably be willing to argue about the value of soulmates, but it’s absolutely everything else in the process that has turned many people off to the idea of being with their ideal match.

After soulmates start talking in their heads the obvious next step would be to meet, right? Well once soulmates meet they start having dreams, or nightmares rather, in which they have to watch their soulmate’s final moments. As if having to see their soulmate die isn’t bad enough they then have to do it every night until they imprint on one another, which means that if someone meets their soulmate and gets separated from them before they imprint they both get to suffer through nightmares until they reconnect and fall in love. This also means that after being forced to watch their soulmate die (probably multiple times) they have to spend enough time with them to fall in love or else they’ll have to keep watching them die every night for the rest of their life.

But it doesn’t end there, oh no, of course not. After the soulmates have imprinted on one another and they’re supposed to be riding off into the sunset while kissing on the back of a white horse they get to the last and final stage of the soul connection: The burning. Once a soulmate couple is matched and imprinted their touch to one another becomes so hot it’s almost like putting their hand to an open flame. Even the slightest touch results in an explosion of pain that takes weeks to properly calm and heal. This seems to be the stage of the soul connection that really sparks the most debate. The first touch after imprinting is basically like putting your hand on a pan fresh from the oven, but every touch after that is only mildly painful and allows soulmates to relive the feeling of imprinting which is often described as the most euphoric feeling a person can ever experience. But is the pain worth the feeling of imprinting or "The Glow" as it's often called?

At this point, after imprinting and getting past the first touch, their souls are humming in contentment and if they separate from their soulmate for too long they’ll get so ill that they die. It’s the reason why when one soulmate in a connected pair dies, even in a freak accident, everyone knows that the other is soon to follow. There are no widows after the soul connection is finished.

Now, if a person hasn’t been sucked into the idea of the soul connection because they have no interest in being emotionally, psychologically and physically tortured and doomed to death they may be thinking that they’ve gotten off easy and they can just live out the rest of their life in peace. Not at all. They have just condemned themself to a life of constant pain. The closest approximation the unmatched can come up with is an extremely aggressive form of rheumatoid arthritis. If a person doesn’t connect with their soulmate physically by the time they’re twenty one then they’re guaranteed to suffer joint and muscle pain for the rest of their life. This specific problem has been the bane of many people’s existences when they have a soulmate who is significantly younger than them. There was even one woman whose soulmate was twenty years younger than her and by the time he turned thirteen and they were able to meet her hands had become completely deformed and near useless. Stories like hers were why most unconnected soulmates made sure to always do their exercises (sometimes rubbing their body down in pain reliever to complete them).

Really there’s no choice about being in pain when a person is born with a soulmate. They either decide to live in constant pain with arthritis or get burned every time they want to touch the person they love which is apparently often given how many cases there are of couples being hospitalized after one too many touches. Love is supposed to be the the consolation prize for the pain which is why some people think that finding their soulmate is worth it, but for some it’s really debatable.

It’s the unmatched who get off easy. They don’t have a soul connection so there’s no one invading their head, no need for a physical touch to stave off physical pain, no nightmares about the death of a loved one and no burns. They can love whoever they want without worrying about their soulmate having a say. They can get married and even get divorced and married again. They can be widowed and though they may be sad they aren’t dead just because their soulmate is.

Continue reading...

~~

“Wow. This has only been up for twenty minutes and there’s already over fifty comments,” Hyunho said in amazement. He had been watching the stats like a hawk since the post had gone up. It was his first piece on the controversial topic of soulmates and Jungkook could see that he was nervous. Hyunho clicked the mouse again and lit up as he saw the comment count increase again. Even if people were just arguing in the comments every click was an incremental increase in the money they were going to make off of the article.

“Whoa it’s over a hundred now. People always get so riled up every time there’s a post about soulmates.”

Jungkook nodded at his words and rolled his chair over to read some of the comments over Hyunho’s shoulder. “Oh look, it’s our good friend mighty mouth 86.” Jungkook pointed at the yellow tinted screen name that seemed to always be present in every online discussion of soulmates to ever happen ever.

“You think he’s actually met his soulmate? I was talking to Daeun and she thinks he’s just an idealist. She said there’s no way he could have met his soulmate and still be this invested.” Hyunho was eagerly clicking open more comment links as the discussion thread got more and more heated.

“He definitely hasn’t met his soulmate. Probably some weirdo who goes on those online meet-up forums to try and get someone to pay for him to meet up with his soulmate because he can't afford it,” Jungkook said with a shake of his head.

The conversation was the age old argument of whether or not soulmates were more trouble than they were worth. Half of the comments were from people claiming they’d been ignoring their soul connection their entire life and they planned to continue through the suffering they knew rather than subject themselves to something that was possibly ten times worse. The other half was people insisting that being with your soulmate and in occasional pain was far preferable to constantly suffering alone.

Hyunho’s head moved slightly from side to side as he read a comment that was one of the biggest walls of text Jungkook had ever seen. “This dude is pissed. Apparently his soulmate speaks some language he can’t recognize and they don’t seem interested in learning Korean so he’s basically doomed whether he likes it or not. He’s only seventeen though so he’s got a few years before the pains starts.”

Jungkook nodded at Hyunho’s words and rubbed at his own shoulders annoyed that even though his birthday was still a week away he could already feel phantom pains creeping up on him.

He glanced over at his desk and noted that someone had drawn a bright orange circle around the first of september on his calendar. He wasn’t sure if someone else was alerting the office to his upcoming birthday or if something else was going on in the office. He hoped that no one was aware of his impending body aches because then everyone would start pitying him for not only being in pain, but also for not having met his soulmate yet.

Jungkook had zero plans to ever meet his soulmate. He’d decided almost immediately upon learning about soulmates that he didn’t want one. He would be completely happy with just himself for the rest of his life. He had started doing the exercises necessary to relieve the body aches when he was seventeen so that by the time he needed them he would be accustomed to doing them every night. In the last month he’d begun stockpiling pain reliever creams and pills and every high end heating pad on the market. He was ready to fight off every body ache that came his way.

~~

“I still think that you should just take a few lessons again so you can at least let him know that you don’t plan on looking for him. You said he’s still learning for you, right?” Jimin asked over the phone. Jungkook could tell that Jimin had him on speaker because of the echo in the background, probably doing his nightly stretches. Jimin was one of Jungkook’s best friends and they had known each other since they were in elementary school even though Jimin was two years older than him. Jimin was matched and proud. He’d been completely taken with the idea of soulmates from the moment his older sister got hers when she was thirteen. He’d watched as she, four years older than him, went through the entire process of connecting with her soulmate who was actually one of her classmates.

“I don’t want to get his hopes up. Last time I started learning English he got way too excited and started trying to help me. What if he thinks I’m trying to meet him? I don’t want him to get the wrong idea and come looking for me,” Jungkook argued. He was bending at the waist so his head was near his knees as he stretched his arms to walk forward on his hands.

Jungkook was matched and pissed. His soulmate spoke English of some kind, but because he wasn’t good with accents he had no idea where exactly his soulmate was from. When the connection was initially established it was like his soulmate had been waiting for him to turn thirteen. He was right there on the other side of the connection talking a mile a minute probably asking Jungkook every question imaginable, but he had zero clue what his soulmate was saying. After Jungkook told his soulmate that he didn’t know what was going on in Korean his soulmate had seemingly shrunk in his head. After a few days of his soulmate’s thoughts bouncing around the forefront of his mind in confusing English the voice had faded to the background clearly speaking more to himself than Jungkook. The only time Jungkook bothered to focus on the connection now was when his soulmate was playing videogames and he recognized a few of the English terms. Honestly, Jungkook thought his soulmate had given up on the whole soul connection thing because it had been literal years since any of his thoughts had been directed towards Jungkook, but a few months ago his soulmate had suddenly burst into the front of his mind with “저는 남준입니다. 만나서 반갑습니다.” (I’m Namjoon. Nice to meet you.) Everything about the clumsy Korean had made Jungkook want to run and hide from his own mind. Jungkook was even more terrified after recounting the event to Jimin and Hoseok because they’d pointed out that his soulmate was likely Korean if his name was actually Namjoon. Jungkook had been completely content with everything in his life up to this point and the thought of his soulmate showing up and ruining it was making him more and more worried.

“I still think it’s a bit cruel that you don’t want to at least help the guy out a little,” Jimin said between sharp intakes of breath. He was definitely doing his stretches.

Jungkook walked his hands back and rolled his back up slowly. “I think the benefits outweigh the cons here.”

“Whatever. Whenever Seokjin can afford to leave Australia we’ll finally meet and I can stop doing these stupid stretches,” Jimin muttered.

“And then you get to start having the dreams until you guys ******* imprint,” Jungkook reminded him as he took in a deep breath and held it.

“We won’t have to wait to imprint because as soon as I see him we’ll be madly in love. We’ll skip straight past the dreams,” Jimin told Jungkook in the matter of fact way he always did.

“Then you get to watch each other suffer through the burns,” Jungkook said in the same matter of fact tone.

“You know, Kookie, I just don’t get why you’re always so difficult about this. Your soulmate is literally made for you. That means no more meaningless relationships, no more breakups, no more heartbreaks. That doesn’t sound nice to you?”

“No. Not when I have to dream about how they die and then spend the rest of my life wanting to touch them and ending up burned every time I do. It’s easier to just take my pain meds and do my stretches.” Jungkook finally shook out his muscles as he finished the last set of stretches, ready for a nice long soak in the tub.

“Kookie...” Jimin’s voice was sad like it always was when Jungkook disparaged soulmates. Jungkook understood why Jimin was so invested in the whole thing, but Jungkook just wasn’t. Jimin and Seokjin were about as disgustingly in love as a couple could be without ever having actually met. Jimin was lucky in having a soulmate that spoke Korean, but he was unlucky because Seokjin grew up in Australia and given how broke both of them seemed to always be it’d be quite some time before they were able to meet in person and get rid of the body aches.

“Goodnight, hyung. I’m gonna take a bath. I sat at my desk all day and my back is screaming.”

“Goodnight, Jungkook.”

~~

"자. 지내세요?” (How are you doing?)

Jungkook stopped walking midstep and felt Hoseok and Jimin run into his back as they caught up.

“What?” Hoseok asked in confusion, pushing himself away from Jungkook and rubbing his nose where it had hit the younger’s shoulder.

“He’s speaking Korean again,” Jungkook told them in a slightly panicked voice.

“Ooooooo. What’d he say?” Jimin asked eagerly. He was completely convinced that Namjoon’s aborted attempts at Korean would somehow win his best friend over.

“Just asking how I am,” Jungkook mumbled, trying to ignore the way he could feel Namjoon waiting for an answer. He started to wonder how much Korean his soulmate knew. Would Namjoon even understand him if Jungkook said anything beyond “I’m fine”?

“Did you answer him?” Hoseok asked. He had begun walking again and was trying to pull Jungkook along behind him. They were all supposed to be going to the studio to practice the choreography teacher Sunbin had given them last week, but Jungkook knew he was going to be distracted for the rest of the day.

“No. I’m...gonna ******* block him...or something,” Jungkook told Jimin. He had been trying to figure out how to block out his soulmate’s thoughts since he was thirteen and a half when he realized that if he wanted to masturbate in peace he would have to get rid of Namjoon’s voice in his head, but after seven, nearly eight, years he was still mentally and sexually frustrated. It was really hard to do anything even remotely sexual with a random voice constantly talking in the back of his mind.

“Good luck with that,” Jimin laughed. Jungkook knew that Jimin and Seokjin had fallen into a routine of basically phone sex after figuring out that they couldn’t block thoughts from one another and frankly, Jungkook thought it was kind of disgusting, but at least Jimin had had an ****** in the last seven years.

“I feel horrible. Stop talking to me,” Jungkook thought back in annoyance. He knew Namjoon would probably have no idea what he said, but it made him feel better to at least try and get his soulmate to stop talking to him.

“나는 한국에 나쁜 다. 미안합니다.” (I am bad in Korean. Sorry.)

Jungkook stifled a laugh at his response. It was like listening to a three year old try and explain themself. Namjoon’s accent was absolutely terrible and he was taking weird pauses as he spoke.

“Awe, did he say something cute?” Jimin asked, suddenly standing very close to the younger.

“No. He’s just really ******* bad at Korean.” The smile that had been forming on Jungkook’s face fell quickly.

“Well, what do you expect? The guy is just starting to learn. I bet his Korean is still better than your English.”

“Hey, I’ve been told my English accent is great. Perfect pronunciation, hyung.” Jungkook had gone through a phase where he was semi-determined to become an idol which required that he take language lesson for a few years, but the spike in interest that he’d noticed from Namjoon when he started thinking short phrases in English was enough to make him give up that dream and just focus on dancing.

Jungkook was happy as a backup dancer and it came with a lot less pressure than he’d had when he was a trainee for those few months, but he knew that this career choice was going to be short lived with how bad the body aches were going to get. At best he would be dancing until he was twenty five then he’d have to get a job as a coach or something where his dancing would be minimal but still important. Jungkook wasn’t looking forward to giving up another dream because of his ******* soulmate, but he also wasn’t willing to give up his freedom for a chance to dance for longer. He had accepted his fate.

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