My weak self

*I am always sick, everyone like me but I feel empty inside that's why I try my best to act cute and have people around me. Praising me, taking care of me , playing with me, it is like their life revolves around mine.

I never got the chance to walk around freely and I am not autorised to go out I am always inside this peaceful prison of love that everyone build for me thinking that it was the best for me.

it is not that I am looking down of how caring they are it is just that sometimes I get suffocated in the palace , I would like to see the world, to discover what the world has hiden within.*

- i slowly opened my eyes-

* Ah... my mind is always dreafting like this when I lose conscious*

"Mmm... wh-wha-what..?"

Before I could finish I was stopped by mom.

"Qi Ran!! lay down don't speak or you are going to tire yourself out. just rest more you need to rest more."

As always my beautiful mother was there for the moment I woke up. i was glad that she always rushed over to me as soon as she knew of my condition. she was afraid that if she wasn't by my side I would leave her, that I would die without her being beside me. That thought seemed to always float around her mind.

I smiled weakly at her before closing my eyes again. Everyone said that I was a blessing given to the empire by the gods , they even presented their words with evidence. Swearing that the day of my birth the sky was of an absurd beauty as they could see the stars on the day.

That same day the empire returned victorious of a long battle that seemed a lost case before my birth. People started to live in peace ever since that day, the world has, ever since then, been in a joyous state. i was happy that so many people were adoring me but i was also sad because it seemed that l had not a long time before passing away, and the thing that saddened me more, was the fact that l couldn't and did never go outside the palace.

l would love to go outside and to discover the world but no one would let me go around the world even if i tried to dissuade them by saying that l would take as many bodyguards they wanted me to take.

once more I opened my eyes weakly, this time awakened by the scent of something I liked more than anything, watermelon.

I can recognize that scent Everytime, it is so sweet. I could praise watermelon from dusk till dawn and I wouldn't have finished praising the superiority of that fruit.

Even when I am sick watermelon is enough to give strength to speak a little to other that come to visit me. As expected it was my father that ordered some servant to bring them to me. I proceeded to talk when father raised his hand asking me to rest instead of wasting my energy.

when he looked at my eyes and saw my gleaming eyes he right away understood what I was yearning for, he proceeded calmly and elegantly to feed me the already prepared watermelon. Squirming when the watermelon juice exploded in my mouth, I felt so happy that my father was feeding me and looking at me in such delicate way as if he were to apply just a little more strength, i would break.

" My dear child, how are you doing recently? Are you feeling uncomfortable anywhere right now??"

I just nodded my head slightly while plastering a weak smile on my face.With just that I could feel my father relaxing and that also make feel more at ease.

"Dear Qi Ran, you need to get better soon for father, okay? you need to stay strong Qi Ran!!"

With that small drop of tears fell from father eyes, rolled down his shinny cheek before ending their race on my forehead. I hold my hand up and wiped them down smiling wholeheartedly to father, wanting to show that I was alright and that it didn't hurt anymore. Also wanting to show him how much I loved him, wanting to show so many other things.

My eyes started to be blurry, the tiredness slowly enveloping me but before I completely began sleeping I caught a glimpse of my father smiling gently and fondly patting my head. Slumber finally completely took over me

but I had made a decision that once I felt better I would bring the topic about me walking around the world. All content about my resolution I slipped in the world of dream, a smile probably visible on my face.

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