02

After that scene, I just found myself inside a hospital, lying on a hospital bed.

I felt a little dizzy for a while and so I shut my eyes for a minute and adjusted my sight. The first thing that came to my sight was the light above and the ceiling.

It was a very big room. I don't know what is this called but it looks pretty and comfortable.

After some moment of contemplation,. I finally remembered why I'm admitted here. It was because of that accident.

I sat up abruptly upon remembering Ate's condition. How is she? Is she okay now?

I had to make sure she's okay so I stood up from the bed and walked towards the door. However, before I could even open it, someone from the outside pushed it open and sashayed inside.

"You're the one she saved right?" I was shocked when he asked that question directly, without any inhibition, not beating around the bush.

His eyes are red and puffy from crying. He looked miserable and wretched at the moment. His gaze showed his resentment, regret, and anger. For whom? Undeniably, for me, right?

"You're the one she saved right?! W-Why can't you fvcking answer me?! Answer me!! Godamnit!! Ahhhh!!" I got scared when he suddenly burst out.

I tried to his myself in the corner of the room while hugging my knees..and pleading nonstop for the trouble I caused.

I-Im s-sorry. I didn't...... I... I d-didn't mean to...

Tears started flowing my cheeks again, sobs came out of my mouth as I uttered a word of apology repeatedly.

"I'm sorry, Kuya. I-Im s-sorry,"

"I'm sorry?! Are you kidding me, huh? We're talking about life here? Do you get me? It's all because of you. I lost her because of you!" I flinched because of how loud his voice is.

My cries became louder as well. I peeked at him and I saw him stunned. And then slowly his features softened and it's not so long when he started to alogize to me nonstop.

"I.. I'm sorry..... Please don't take it to heart. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Sweetheart, sorry, sorry." He even kneeled and cried while apologizing to me.

I was dumbfounded because of that. Why is he apologizing to me? He should not stop blaming me. He's right. I'm the reason why Ate got shot.

"Sweetheart, I didn't mean to say it, okay? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those words. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blame you. It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Forgive me,"

"Bro," Another voice was heard.

It was a guy with a nurse outfit. He is looking at Kuya with pity in his eyes.

Kuya looked at him and he immediately shooked his head as he told him, "I didn't mean to say to words, Toni. I... I didn't. I'm sorry,"

"Alam ko, bro," He also kneeled in front and tapped Kuya's back, trying to console him before looking at me. "Pasensya ka na, bebe. Hindi niya lang kasi matanggap na... na.....," he smiled bitterly before he continued in a somewhat muffled voice. "..... na w.. wala na s.. siya," he tried to smile at me but it turned out to be a sad smile.

I'm afraid to be approached by a guy because of what my father did to me traumatized me but when the first guy approached me near the bed corner, I let him. He was still crying, shaking his head and telling me that he was sorry, that those words he uttered a while ago isn't what he truly meant and that he regretted what he had said earlier.

Actually, I know and I understand where he's coming from. Maybe Ate is someone important to him and so he reacted that way. We can't avoid that. That only natural for us to react that way because we're hurt, and shock. And to be honest, I'm flabbergasted because he even expressed his regret and ask for my forgiveness in the end.

Why is he like that? What's going on? Why is he apologizing to me? He should blame me as it was  definitely my fault. She was now gone because of me. Because she tried to save me.

I shook my head in disapproval.

"I should be the one saying sorry, Kuya. It's not your fault. It was mine. I'm sorry. If there was a chance for it to happen again, I hope for her not to come. I'm not gonna pray for someone to save me. I'm sorry, Kuya. It's all because of me. I'm sorry." I really felt bad. If in the past I'd pray for someone to come and save me, now, I really do regret it. Saving me pala would cost a life. It shouldn't be like that. I'd rather suffer there, in my father's hands than to let Ate be harmed, than to let her be gone. Forever.

He looked at me pleadingly and surprisingly he gave me a hug. I should have pushed him away but I felt safe in his arms right now. It wasn't like my father's. It felt like I should not worry because he's not gonna harm me. Instead, he'll keep me safe and sound.

"I'm sorry for my words earlier, sweetheart. I know I'm wrong and please don't blame yourself as she won't like it if ever she's hearing it right now. I'm sorry for blaming you a while ago. I was just so devastated that she left us. She's gone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Forgive me," he whispered gently.

I slowly tried to repriprocate his hug and told him it's okay.

And now I realized how he keeps on calling me sweetheart with doting in his voice. I felt overwhelmed and it was heartwarming. He feels like a Dad. His hug was full of warmth and his words are consoling. I never felt this for a very long time since that day.

"You should rest. We're gonna leave. I'll visit you here soon, okay? I'm hoping for you to get better soon, " he gave me a small smile before leaving with the nurse.

As the door of my room closed, my heart clenched and I started to overthink again. If Ate didn't come at that time, will she be alive now? If I didn't ask God to send someone to help me, will she still be there to rescue me?

Will it make a difference if she hadn't seen and met me? 'Cause if there is, I'd rather go back in time and choose her life over my freedom and happiness.

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