chapter 2

"Just live your life for one more month, I actually don't want you to do this, So please Im begging you, not as a doctor but a friend, Just try to be happy to that whole month and dont worry, I'll still give you these as the said month passes and its up to you if you'd still take it but I really hope you could find someone to live on and not take this PILLS.."

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Taehyung.

Pain...Along with loneliness, It's what I always feel,Im getting used to it though,Getting used to be in pain,getting used of what pain felt like,I even think that Im immune of sadness right now cause it doesn't affect me anymore..

Im tired...I just want to close my eyes and never open it again,I wanna sleep so that I will not be aware of what is happening,I'm tired of pretending.. putting a smiley face wherever and whenever my friends are around..

Why can't I just tell them??, Cause I don't want to be a burden,I don't wanna add my problems to them,and maybe I don't want them to see me at this vulnerable state,I don't want them to think that they didn't do their job as my friends,I don't want them to see me cry,I don't want to ruin our fun time..

How Ironic that this guy,The son of the CEO of the famous Kim Enterprises is feeling like this. All of them look at me like I have a happy life,Like I can have everything I wanted...Well I can say that money can't buy everything...Even the the few thing I wanted such as happiness,contentment,acceptance or Love..

Or do they really exist??

When was the last time I felt those things??Hmmm..I can't remember, does that even happen??..

NEVER.

IT NEVER HAPPEN TO ME.

Why??Because I am me.and I don't deserve anything here the world as they say..

My phone buzzed and it caught my attention,I look at it to see text messages from my friends,Greeting a "Good Morning"and "how's your sleep?.."

I sighed almost a tear forming in my eyes,I appreciate it but I don't deserve being treated like this,I don't deserve having a friend,I don't deserve having someone like them..

Someone who is such an asshole can't have a friend like them,I doesn't deserve it.They're so kind while Im here...Making them worried about me,Making them take care for me, Cook for me,Such a fucking burden,Can't do anything right..

Kim Taehyung..Why are you still alive?!!,Why didn't you died on that accident years ago...

"Punk!!, Don't ever show your self here!!"

"You!!You're the one that's causing the bad luck,Fucking leave this place!!"

"You don't deserve anything in this world!!"

"Why didn't you die!!"

"Of all people why are you the one who survived?!"

I can still remember it,The memories that fucked my already fucked up life,The day all of them are against me, all of them wishing I died at that day too, All of them telling me my shortcomings,All of them looking at me like Im just a dirt in their house,All of them want me to disappear..

Currently, the only thing that is easy is to end it all..I don't care if I go to hell because of what Im planning to do.

Does hell hurts as much as I feel right now??Does it also make you feel useless,dumb or burden to someone??cause if it is,Im ready to go there..Im always feeling it though,What's new??

Right??

I heave a deep breath,while looking at the newly sharpened knife in the kitchen..I took it and walk to the bathroom I don't anyone spotting me doing this horrible yet satisfying thing...

This is it...Im finally gonna be free!!

I winced when the knife begin to rip my skin but smile afterwards..Im finally doing it..

It stings..but I don't care,My heart hurts more than this..

Im not assured that I'll die just because of this small cut so I searched for something that will complete my attempt of taking my life..

And then it caught my eyes,The bathtub,It already have water cause I use to shower in the morning, Hmmm.. Looks like it'll be put into good use..

I glanced at my wrist feeling the wound stings more,I get in the tub. Staring at it as the water turned red because of my wound,I smiled as I feel like my head lightens,vision blurring and the uncomfortable feeling of water coming inside my body,My throat hurt as water continue to flow inside, the feeling of being soffucated,the sound of underwater..

And the darkness swallowing me whole..

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