chapter 2

“I know I tell you this every year, but… when I first got the call from mom and dad saying that you… you know, I thought it was some sick joke or something. I mean, we did play a lot of pranks on each other as a kid. I was in denial for the first few days. I guess I thought that if I pretended hard enough that it wasn’t real, it wouldn’t be.” Taehyung reaches his other hand up to wipe away his tears. He watches as some of them drip down his chin and over the edge of the bridge, into the salty water below.  

“Why do I cry every time? Mom cried a lot at first, but I think she ran out of tears. I haven’t seen her cry since your funeral. Dad, well, you know Dad, he never shows emotions. But me? Every year, on this day, I cry.” He sniffles loudly. “And like a dumbass, I never remember to bring tissues. I’ve been getting better about it though. I made it all the way to this spot before I started crying.” He takes a second to breathe

“Oh, yeah. I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why did you choose here? Not just this spot, but this bridge? Was it because it’s famous for that? You were living in LA at the time, so why did you come all the way up here? I guess you always did like being dramatic.”

Taehyung turns around briefly to observe the passing cars and brave joggers who decided to go for a run on this frigid day. He hopes none of them notice how red his face is or how wet his cheeks are.

He turns back to the water and stares at the dark waves below him. “Don’t tell Mom and Dad this, but… sometimes when things get difficult, I think about joining you, wherever you are. But I don’t think you would want that. You always used to say I was the stronger one, so I’ll continue to be strong for you.

“Do you ever regret it? I hear stories of survivors saying that the instant their feet left the bridge, they wished they could go back. Was it like that with you? Did you wish you could undo it”

He crumples the photo in his hand and clenches his fist. “Did you ever think about me? How all of this would affect me? I’m not as strong as you think I am, Y/N. I– no I shouldn’t blame you. What good would that do?

“It used to be that when I missed you, I could just end our phone calls or skype sessions with ‘Come home soon!’ or something, but now I can’t do that. I don’t think I will ever stop missing you.” 

Taehyung steps back a looks up at the bright red beams, stark against the grey expanse of the overcast sky. He closes his eyes and feels the wind, cold against his tears.

“I miss you, Y/N. And I love you. Those two things will never change. I will continue working hard and being strong for you. Tell grandma I love her too. I’ll see you next year, Y/N.”

He stays there for a while longer, until his tears subside and he’s ready to go back home. He walks back in the direction he came and nods at the officer as he leaves. He keeps his promises. He continues missing you, he continues loving you, and he continues working hard and being strong for you, just as a big brother should.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***