chapter 16

I left her, stomping to my room in utter disgust. Scattered around was the remains of the poster, and somehow, that seemed to mirror the image of the scattered pieces of my bruised and broken heart. Flopping on the bed, I considered why I had even auditioned, why I had put my whole heart into ‘Release Me’.

Our song.

But all that came to me was nothingness, an empty whole of darkness that swallowed me up at every turn. Why couldn't I understand? Why couldn't I be happy, for once? I guess I should be happy, joyful even. Miracle after miracle has been bestowed on me, giving me reason to believe. It was hard though, somehow, to toss aside my qualms about being in front of people and sing in front of MILLIONS of people. Everything I thought was true about myself has turned out to be dead wrong.

But on the plus side, I've discovered parts of myself I've never noticed before.

"Today's the day!" a giant marshmallow fluff smashed into my head, making me wake up anxiously. Turns out, it was a pillow. I glared at the over eager Sadie, who was beaming at me in happiness.

"Come on, Miss Grumpy!" she laughed. "We got to get you to the TV studio to get all dressed up."

"What time is it?" I groaned, turning over in the bed to avoid Sadie and drift back into my slumber.

"Time to go!" she grabbed me, forcing me to the garage.

"Don't I need to change clothes?" I yelled over the rumbling of the engine, as Sadie hurriedly started the car.

"Not really. I got you some jeans, but you can keep that T-shirt on."

"Don't I need to eat?"

"Here," she handed me a plastic bag filled with cereal and milk. I shook it, and it sloshed around. I looked at it in disgust.

"What is this?"

"Cereal in a bag, baby!" she screamed along to the song she was playing in the car.

I sighed, and started to eat, drink, the mess Sadie called cereal. Honestly, it looked like a cross between slime and jello.

We zoomed along the highway, the sun beating on us, weighing on us like a thick blanket. The air was a thin fog, blocking my view of the glorious outdoors surrounding me. I laughed at the small tinkling of the birds I heard around me, utterly enchanted. Sadie looked at me, confused.

"What's the deal, Eve?"

"The birds," I grinned. “They sound so... light and carefree! I wish I could be like them."

Without another word, Sadie turned her head back to the front. I frowned. Sadie was not like me. She didn't enjoy the forest, the beach, or the sun. Our personalities couldn't be any more different. Sadie could speak in front of a huge crowd, dressed fashionably at school, said all the right things, and did everything the right way.

I was the opposite. At school, I’ve blended into the background so long, I've long since felt like a piece of furniture. Peter has ignored me ever since that awful day in seventh grade, and it seemed like the whole world ignored me too. It's not like I wanted to be anything other than a piece of furniture though. I suppose if I wanted to, I could become popular. However, it never interested me, never really crossed my mind during those five long years. I had basically no friends, always eating in the library, maybe once or twice eating with Delilah and her posse-Sadie always sat with the popular group, and I wasn't willing to step within five miles of that table.

Strangely, no guys ever talked to me. I never thought myself to be ugly, but they never spoke a single word. However, I could feel their glances, and it made me wonder; what's holding them back? What repelled guys from me like mosquitoes and bug spray?