5. Afraid to be happy

Anokhi's POV

As everybody is having lunch I am smiling to myself thinking about morning.

......the morning's scene......

I woke up not through my regular alarm but because of loud screams.

"Aaaaaaaaah, my head is killing me and where did I end up after drinking so much. F*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck how will I answer Karan, my baby" screamed Sakshi.

"Will you shut your f*cking mouth, at least take a look at the person beside you I don't have these long hairs for nothing at least you can tell this much that I am definitely not some weirdo or a pervert." I said irritatingly as she created such a chaos for nothing.

Then she lets out an awkward laugh, "oh it's you". I flicked her head for this stupidity and she fake cried, "ouch".

I walk towards my bathroom and she yelled to go first. Ignoring her I took my time and came after a long shower and there she laid on my bed in a sexy position.

"Hey handsome, you wanna come and play," she said in a seducing voice. A smirk appeared on my face as I walked towards her.

I lay both my hands on either side of her towering her between me and bed and she still had the nerve to say, "Baby let's do it fast."

"Of course darling," then I pinned both her hands above her head and started leaning towards her lips and now she looked scared.

She did it to irritate me and thought I would do nothing. Now I was just inches away from her lips.

"Oh my f*cking lord live girlxgirl, Shiva yelled at the top of his stomach and Karan was just........amused.

As she jumped at their voice we kissed for real. Not a realkiss like a peck om the lips and I just jumped off rubbing my lips clean as if they got dirty.

Sakshi gave me a look, "Hey I am not some garbage that you're reacting like that and as always the two boys were rolling on the floor laughing their a*s off.

......end of the morning......

A smile crept up to my face. But I don't know why she is following me like a lost puppy saying she will protect me and she looked cute saying that I don't know how can one's personality change so much. But it's not really a shock just look at me am I different from her.

I didn't bring lunch as it was so hectic this morning so I just decide to go and get some rest at terrace. It's like my hiding spot nobody goes there usually because they are lazy to take stairs.

I am just lying here taking vitamin-D and I hear a girl crying. I sit up to see and there she is trying to jump but is scared and again and again is just staring down to decide whether to jump or not.

Man, just why everyone has to cry and commit suicide when I am taking a peaceful nap. Is there a shooting going on? As I try to get a glimpse that who the hell she is I realize that she is Bhumika, my classmate you could also say my ex-friend, she is still so stupid.

Memories start flooding that how we used to be together. We didn't have a fight or anything but when I came back we just stopped talking.

I tried to talk to her but then just pushed that thought thinking 'let it be she is fine without me.' As I hear her cry again I decide to go to her but as soon as she sees me she loses her balance and.........."aaaaaaah".

"Hey stop screaming and open your damn eyes. You are safe and sound. Before anything just get up or I'll kick your ***," I say as she is on the top of me.

"Oh." We both get up and she pinned me down on the wall and strangled my neck from where even if I don't fall to death I would be strangled to death........

"It's all your fault. You made me do this," she says crying. I am confused as hell, "What the hell are you talking about?" I scream.

She falls down to her knees saying, "only... only....only......if you didn't leave me I wouldn't have suffered this much and........ EVEN IF YOU WERE GONE FOR GOOD, WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO COME BACK."

I don't say anything I am just sitting beside her soothing her back up and down for her to calm down. Then she hugs me tightly and says, "You don't have any idea when you left there were rumors about you all around and I was called the stupid, mad, devil's puppet as they assumed you're dead. I didn't say a single word for an year, was under depression and left school an years for my treatment then a new student came in the middle of semester he didn't understand why I was bullied even when I had good grades and good at sports too. He came and lend me his hand we both became friends and he dared anyone to bully me and see the results. He fought with many students for me and in the end when I was surrounded by a bunch of bullies saying they won't let me take exams as I don't have any right to sit in their class, finally he came and fought with them and we both were injured, so I took him to hospital and we ditched exams for him as I fell for him. While you were gone I wanted to be the top student of school and impress him but now you're here again to destroy my life..........sob...sob... sob....."

I was stunned, sad, angry, after hearing her whole story and just wanted to punch those who did this to her. To make her feel better I ask about her boyfriend who helped her.

"Okay okay okay everything is fine now. I'll kick their as*es for you. But who is your friend why haven't I ever seen him with you?"

She sobs harder at my question, "Ano.....khi.... Anokhi..... They say....they say that he is not here, he is not, everyone tells me that he was imagination but how could it be? Our memories, our laughter, our time, our everything, I miss him everyday how can he just be my imagination? Even doctors don't believe me. The one who was my hope till now when he is not here then what am I doing here I should also just die."

My voice breaks saying this, "No, no, no, it's not your fault at all and most importantly memories aren't there to haunt you, they sometimes makes us cry and feel depressed but they also make us happy and feel blessed that there was someone who cared for you. Who says he is not here, he is still there, he is a part of you, he was, and will always be because you created him like in childhood we create small houses and play with them but again we can't always live there right, we have to return to our family and after time passes we don't need them anymore but they are always a beautiful part of our memories. You also have to return to your family, friends and me because you don't need him anymore and he is just a beautiful part of your memory which no one can take away from you. You just have to give him a proper goodbye. Right now he is not holding onto you, you are. Just leave his hand and say goodbye to him smiling that now no one will bully you, you will be safe, and you can always visit him in your memories. Now take my hand and let go of him."

She takes my hand, grips my shirt tightly and cry for a long time. After some time she says, "You won't leave me right." I say smiling, "Never, and why don't you come to my house for a few days I'll take permission from your parents." She nods and we both go to our classroom.

I take her bag from her desk and place it on my desk. She sits with me and whole class is just staring at us. It's better now they know how to behave with her.

As we were going to exit school I am pulled back by a strong pair of hands. Before I could say anything a bike races past me. I turn to thank the person and there he is standing confidently with a smirk on his face.

"I helped you again, ANOKHI," he drags the word Anokhi as if showing off that he is going to call me Anokhi without any honorifics. I try to say something but Sakshi, Karan and Shiva they all appear and Shiva says, "Hey Anmol, what are you doing here, dude? Did you do something to my beloved? If yes I can't help you, aaand who is this beautiful lady," he says pointing at Bhumika.

"Shiva shut your mouth." I say annoyed. But Bhumika steps in and introduce herself, "Hi guys, I am Bhumika, her friend and classmate." She says holding my shoulder.

"Hey you maybe her friend but I am her bestfriend," Sakshi says while curling her hair with hands as if showing off. "Hey, from when. Did sun rise from west?" Shiva, Anmol and me yells and everyone at the road is staring at us.

We all start walking and one by one everyone leaves. Now it's just me, Bhumika and Anmol on either side of me. But I notice that Anmol is continuously behaving strange and he is trying to hold my hands but as soon as he finds me glaring at him he either puts his hand in his pocket or starts whistling as if nothing happened.

What the hell? Is he trying to flirt? With me? Now he had to turn but he is still following me. He is cute. "Hey don't you need to turn here?", I say smirking and he just walks away embarrassed.

Then Bhumika starts, "I think he has a huge crush on you." I just don't answer and we both reach our house. I give her the passcode of my house and show her my house.

She doesn't say anything and just asks, "Can I live in your room I don't like to be alone?" I just nod assuring her, "Yeah, of course you can." and she gives me a toothpaste ad smile. I chuckle at her reaction.

Whole day she helps me around with my students, small chores and even cooking. I am really happy that someone is here with me and now I don't need to cook and eat by myself, all alone. I have dinner with her and then we go to sleep.

...............FLASHBACK...............

"Come here my precious daughter. Now even your mother is dead we can live a great life." I don't do anything I am just in pure shock. I want to scream for help but can't, it's like all my senses are dead. My mother is lying dead beside me. I want to cry out aloud for my mother but my voice is not helping me a bit. These thoughts are killing me inside and the next second that bastard is on top of me kissing my neck down my shoulder and I am just lying not even resisting like my whole life ended, just lying lifeless but then it clicks 'no he killed my mother I can't let him get his way.' I take the lamp that is beside my bed and just "BAAAANG" He is now bleeding but still he is having a hell of a grip on my ankle as I am trying to get away. I continuously kick his hand and his grip loosens. I sprint to kitchen to get a knife and my head continuously yelling 'You can't let him get away. Take your own revenge because nobody is going to help you.' I go back and just I am going to kill him like he killed my ma but he is awake now and just jumps at me not noticing the knife he slaps me and throws me on the floor. "You filthy bi*ch just like your mother now I'll show you how a bi*ch is treated...." Before he could say anything else about my mother I just stabbed him in the back then he faints and I am just staring down at my hands how I killed him. He deserved to be I don't regret. I don't regret. I don't regret.Aaaaaaaaaaah

...............END OF DREAM...............

I wake up panting. This is not just dream, it's reality and the start of becoming a monster, a she-devil. I can't breathe here I go out to my balcony.

I fall down to the cold floor, clenching my fists against the floor. I feel pain like my whole body is being torn away and I can't even scream.

A tear makes its way down my cheek and the rest is followed in an unbroken stream. The thoughts engulf me that How happy I am? How hard I am trying to chase my dream nonstop?

I am afraid to be happy again what if those around me again get hurt? What am I going to do?

I am afraid to be happy. I am afraid to be happy. I am afraid................

Author

So this chapter was just about out female lead 's reunion with her friend. Whoever is thinking that even after Anokhi's 2 year break how are they still in same class then read carefully I've mentioned that her friend had a year of depression and next year she had to take her "boyfriend" to the hospital and that's how she also wasted her two years and they are in same class.

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