Casual Wednesday...
With the sun hitting her face, gripping her cuddly bear beside her, Hazel reaches out to turn down her alarm.
Startled by the sudden reminder of the special event on the day, she jumps out of her bed to the voice of her mother screaming her name on the top of her lungs.
Mom
Hazel, dear wake up, you're going to be late. Dad and i need to hurry. Come down stairs, will you?
Dad i guess
You know how she is honey. She'll get herself to college, let us leave. We need to attend the meeting. Making the shareholders wait wont do us any good.
Hazel inhales all her frustration and exhales a deep sigh.
Hazel Arden
"gEt HerSeLF tO coLLeGe" like it's been his self interested, narcissistic arse thats been getting me to college. Atleast pretend to make an effort. How did my mom even end up with him. ARGH!
Mom
We'll meet you at college later at the event, make sure to be your best self.
These words lightens up her face. Knowing her mom is going to be there at the big moment of her life. There was nothing else that could make her happier.
Hours pass by. Hazel nervously picks on her finger because her mother wasn't here yet. She was only minutes away from being awarded 'The Best Outgoing Student of the Year'.
'Hazel Arden' the MC calls out. Her stomach turns as she walks up to the stage realising her mother was not amongst the crowd, cheering for her.
Hazel Arden
Ofcourse something came up again, why would i even expect it to be different this time.
Marcus
Hey, Cheer up now. You know how things are. They must have been busy. I am sure it must be someone they couldn't avoid.
Hazel Arden
You know what, you must be right. You've known me since kindergarten. Enlighten me about the times they actually showed up.
Marcus
Hazy, come one. Don't be like that. You've won something you've worked so hard for. Lets celebrate.
Hazel Arden
Leave it be Mark, I am going out to get some air.
The event ended. People are starting to pack up. Hazel gives up hope and picks her bag to walk herself home.
Mom
Sweetie, what are you doing outside?
Hazel Arden
Right on time mom, why dont you go help the others pack the stuff up?
Mom
I am so sorry sweetheart, I promise this won't happen again.
Hazel Arden
Won't happen again? Again when mom? my college days are over. I've been hearing you say this all my life but not once have you ever stood by it.
Hazel's mom leaves out a deep sigh noticing the piercing eyes of passers - by
Mom
Sweetie now calm down. We are sorry. We kinda got carried away. It's been a while since we hung out, we didnt notice the time.
Hazel felt her voice quiver. She knew she had to stop talking or things were about to get out of hands. But what could a teen do watching her whole world collapse in the matter of few seconds
Hazel Arden
I spent my whole life trying to be something you've always wanted. So that YOU would finally accept me. I had to excel in all fields to receive this honour. I gave up on my dreams, my friends, my happiness, and invested it all in this. Just so YOU would be proud of me.
Hazel Arden
Throughout these college years i asked nothing but time from you. The least you could do is SHOW UP!
Hazel Arden
I did everything you ever asked of me. Even if it was something contrary to what i wanted. I only ever wanted to be loved. It was the biggest day of my life. I was finally being recognised for my hardwork and you decided not to show up because you were busy staring into each others eyes, forgetting about the daughter that existed, solely cause you never cared enough to acknowledge the result of your own mistake.
Hazel could feel her heart being torn into a million pieces. She wished the world ended that very moment.
Hazel Arden
You've always been blaming me for not having a successful marriage. Do you still see him in me? is that why? IS THAT WHY I CANT BE LOVED?
Dad i guess
Thats enough!! Hazel apologize. Now.
Hazel Arden
This is between me and my mom. I don't think a man who crawled in later gets a say in this.
Mom
Hazel! what's wrong with you. Is that how you talk to your dad?
Hazel couldn't feel her legs anymore. Her body felt numb. Her biggest fear was coming true. All her dreams shattered into nightmares. She couldn't stop her tears from rolling down. She wanted to scream her lungs out. She rolled her palm into fists. Gritted her teeth trying to hold back a cry.
Hazel Arden
He. Is. Not. My. Father.
She had finally said it. Something she held back for years. She could feel a weight lift of her chest but it only got heavier. Turning to face her back to her mom, throwing her bag, letting out the cry she held in, she runs not knowing where it was going to lead her. Hazel made her decision that day. She had been fighting for too long. She didn't have a reason anymore.
Hazel doesn't know what happened next. She can hear people screaming. She shakes herself to consciousness but time doesn't feel the same anymore.
Hazel Arden
*i could feel the breeze brush my hair. Every atom. Every second felt like an hour. The sun was still in my eye but it felt different. Like the rays were taking their own time to reach me. I could smell the newly bloomed spring blossoms although it wasnt spring yet. i was startled by the loud horn, just to find myself amidst a concrete pathway with a truck aiming at me.
Hazel Arden
*i felt the harsh reality of my skull bashing into it. A piece of glass cuts right through my cheekbone, just below my left eye. i close my eyes trying to take it all in. I wasn't fighting anymore.
it didn't matter, it didn't matter anymore.
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