BTS Ff
Sweet, Funny and Caring. He always put others before his self and he prioritized you the most. That's your brother, Jung Hoseok. He was the kindest guy you know, the best big brother there is.
You're not good at singing, nor dancing and it was hard for you to learn it. But still, He was so patient to teach you dance, and he enrolled you in a singing class.
You never felt nor seek for a mother's love because both your brother and your dad are filling more than their roles. Because of them, there was nothing you could wish for.
Everything seems so perfect or maybe that's what you thought? Your brother has a girlfriend, she's smart just like you. She's the one who tutors you with your homework sometimes.
She smiles a lot just like you, She's also not into singing and dancing, and most of all, She's always there when you need her. She care for you like her own sister and she love your brother so much. But out of a sudden, They broke up.
You didn't know how, You didn't know why. It's just that one day, Your brother came home drunk and broken. He cried so much just like before.
You were so young back then but you still remember that day, You still remember the first time you saw him cry that much. That day was when your mom left you, your dad and your brother for an unknown reason.
Since the day that your brother and his girlfriend broke up, he changed so much. He stopped smiling the way he used to, he stopped being sweet and caring. He's always in a bad mood, He became strict to you.
He shouts at you when you couldn't get the steps after repeating it so many times, He glare at you when you make even just a simple mistake. He became so scary, but you never complain and choose to understand him instead. Because maybe, he's acting like that because he's broken hearted, maybe he teaches you harshly for you to be better and maybe he will be back to his old self once he recovered, and maybe day by day he will heal little by little and will treat you better again.
But he didn't, because day by day he's becoming worse. You don't do good in singing and dancing, but you are smart and you are always on top of your class.
Before, he will pat your head and praise you when you show him your test results. But now, he will just walk pass you like he heard and saw nothing. Before, you were the very first person he wanted to see the moment he stepped home. He always tells you that your smile and your warm hugs remove his tiredness and made him feel recharged again. But now, he makes you feel that your existence irritates him.
Your brother became harsher and his words are starting to hurt you.
One day, after school you went straight to hybe to train again. There's a new trainee the same age as you, she's so good at dancing and singing. She's new but her talent is far better then yours.
You started training with her, and because of her your brother became even more harsh towards you.He kept on comparing you to her, he kept on embarassing you infront of her
"Why can't you get it right away? We've been practicing over and over again, what's so hard with the steps? Are you not embarassed of her? She kept on repeating the steps because of you! When are you getting better? Why can't you get better? You are disappointing!"
Your brother kept on throwing you painful words, he kept on humiliating you in front of anyone. You never liked dancing and singing, You didn't even choose to train for it, You didn't want to be an idol like him, But you can't complain cause that's what he wants.
Because of so much embarrassment and humiliation, you confronted your brother at home. Of course you were scared and nervous, but you pulled all your strength to tell him you wanted to stop training. You told him you wanted to pursue modeling, but the things he told you made a big impact to you.
"You are just like mom and that woman. You will quit the moment you think the sitiuation is hard. You move like them, You smile like them, You act like them, You f*ck*ng think like them! I am doing my best for you not to become one of them! But you are already one of them! You act like you care but you really don't! It's so easy for you to give up and leave right away! You are just making people around you suffer! You are good at hurting people around you! Just like the two of them!" Then he walked out.
What? You are good at making people around you suffer? You are just hurting the people around you? You are just like your mom and his ex? The worst people in this world for your brother are the likes of your mom and his ex. Does that mean you're the worst too?
Of course not, because unlike them, you will never leave your brother. Unlike them, you will stay and love him no matter what. So you continue your training to prove yourself, and as usual you don't do good.
Your brother was always disappointed, but this time he's not the only one. Whenever he looks at you with disappointment, you are even more disappointed to yourself. So you train so hard, you will train before the training start and you will stay at the studio after practice to practice more.
You wanted to prove yourself to your brother, you stopped doing the things you used to do that you know your mom and his ex always do. You stopped smiling the way they do, you are no longer the person who welcome him when he got home.
When he's disappointed you are even more disappointed. If he's a perfectionist and so are you but worse.
You are getting better, but everytime you make a mistake even seldom, you will punish yourself. You don't stop even when you are tired just to convince your brother and yourself that you are nothing like your mom and his ex.
To be continued~
Hope you like it💜
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