Don't love me cuz I am an avarice

Today is my first day of my college .I hope everything will goes well.

Everything seems simple because I have already experienced most of the hurtful things in my growing years .

I came to another country for my further studies and I hope it goes well without any disturbances.

Before I came to the college I made a guy friend that is pretty unusual . Even though it is just making a friend but it was a hard thing for me . His name is Rony

I stopped believing in guys , and making a guy to be my friend it was a big deal for me ...

He made me think that there are also guys in the world that are nice .

Going to college , listening to lectures and coming back and again going to college happened quite a few days

I made a few friends and happened to hang out with them . They made me feel warm ..

I started to talk with my classmates and became somewhat close . without noticing it I became friends with guys .

Making jokes on each other , pranking , fighting with them made my days filled with joy

I started to believe them but not too much because of my past experiences I cannot trust a guy too much...

Everything seems good and I started to chat with my friend Rony . He was quite a good friend he makes jokes when I am down , he took me out when I want to eat something or for having fun and those days are good .

He tells me about his family about his friends and the stupid things he did and we became much closer like best friends..

Six months passed without knowing and I went to my home for my summer vacation and my journey to my home is quite troublesome..

Funny thing during my journey is "I missed my flight " and I was like hell no..... because no flights were there for the next few next few days.

But Thank God , I got a seat in another flight and reached my home safely . My father didn't come to pick me up even though it was my first time going to other country and returning home after six months .

Days went quite well , returning to home after six months. so my family didn't object about whatever I want to eat or wherever I want to go or whatever I want to do.

Rony also came to my house every day to take me out to have fun . As I said my father won't come to house every day to take me out for fun so my mom asked Rony to take me out and spend some time so that I won't feel lonely

I became much close to Rony these days going out to eat to have fun and playing with him everyday .My days went quite happy .

After spending one and half month in home , I happened to return to my college.

Again my days went quitely , going college having fun with my friends and talking to my family through phone and talking with Rony .

Sometimes it gives me chill in my spine because Rony started to talk to me everyday through phone , making jokes everyday so that I could feel better , cares about me like whether I ate well or not , or slept well or not , but somewhere in my heart I think this is not good.

Because when a guy shows too much care or attention it scares me even though it is my best friend.

Whatever I just don't want to think these kind of things .

I became close to one of my friend olivia she is a good girl but sometimes she is stubborn .

She makes me happy but sometimes I wish that I could hit her hard because she is stupid she worries like hell for simple reasons and makes people tensed for no reason.

But whatever I like to spend time with her .

'Soon after that Olivia became my best friend , I started to hang out with her a lot , sharing my personal secrets , talking whatever I want to talk ,made me feel relaxed..'

There is a phrase saying that "having one good friend is better than having thousands of fake friends"

Because I came to Germany with Olivia for my medical education but I made friends who are good at the start but after sometime I happened to know their true colors .

So trusting others once again became hard for me , it made me think why most of the people around me tries to be good at the start and betrays me later .

So once again expecting some love from my friends made me think that I make mistakes again and again.

But , whatever I don't care about love anymore but I believe in friends .

So , Olivia came in to my life . without knowing I became very close .

But funny thing after spending sometime with me and listening to my past made her to lose her hope in love .

But I hope that she can get her true love even though I don't believe in it

As I said no one will experience the same so I wish that one day she should be blessed with true love ....

But once I do hoped about having a good life with a guy who can love , cares about me , trusting me ..

But love is like a nightmare for me, it took the happiness of my mom, my sister and made my family into mess...

It lead my father to start another family and made us like living in hell without proper care or love . so I still hesitates to talk to my father whether whatever in my mind .

So when people tells me , that they love me truly I feel like haha funny , *The best joke ever*.....

I say them that "*I love money more than Men"

So\* don't try to fall in love with me because "my heart became a stone and it cannot me melted"...

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