Don't love me cuz I am an avarice

This is the start of my new life ,I hope everything goes well .

Coming here, after leaving my family I don't feel anything because we have never been like a happy family...

My mom married my dad when she was young ,when he doesn't have a stable job and no one supported.

She was happy for a month after marriage ....after that she conceived a baby with my father then my father started to show his disinterest ..

My mom suffered a lot..but even though she didn't give up on me and my sister.

My childhood was like a hell , I watched my parents fight , I received dislikeness from my grandparents ,they treated us as beggars even though we are there grandchildren and we lived in poverty..

After quite a years I happened to know a sad truth that my father betrayed us without telling a word he started a family with another women ,when we were still a children.

When we were still a kids my father comes home like once or twice in a month and stays for a night and the next day he goes out by saying he was busy..

without knowing we got used to that and my mom's health was mentally unstable so we don't know what was going between them ...

Few years have passed like that , even though we know that my father has another family we can't ask him why ? why did you do that? Because we are in no position to ask him and my mom's condition was still the same she takes her meds day after day .so we don't want to stress her anymore...

So I decided to come to a far place to study so that I can atleast have some peace..

I know leaving my family is one of the hardest decision in my life but I did it so that I can start a new life.

So I decided to not to fall in love with anyone and not to suffer like my mother and I don't want to give a life like me to my children even though having a father but cannot feel the love of him , cannot spend some quality time with him and hesitation to ask him anything...

So I decided to became a girl who loves only money and not men ..

But I do have some happy moments and memories and that is because of my friends there is a phrase saying that "*we cannot choose our family members but we have the chance to choose our friends*" .

I have friends who helps me to get through my difficult situations, where I can cry whole heartedly , where I can share my thoughts , where I can talk whatever I want without any hesitation.....

One of the best thing I did in my life is making friends and I don't want to lose them for anybody's sake .

Ahh " I totally forgot that I came here to start a new life but here again I am thinking about my past"

I need to move on and I need to work hard for my future and for my family . fighting!

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