You Came Back

Hey," I heard a voice calling out from above me but I didn't have the strength to open my eyes.

"Pol," It coaxed. Hey I know that voice.

"Polaris," I was shaken and I opened my eyes suddenly gasping.

"Hey woah woah! It's just me." I looked into the blue eyes of Rick Grimes who had both hands on my upper arms trying to calm me down.

"You came back," I smiled my vision uneasy.

"Asshole, you guys left me." I moaned feeling my stomach in pain.

"Easy," Rick coaxed.

"You've lost a lot of blood. And I'm sorry, we were always gonna come back for you." He said honestly.

"It's okay. I forgive you because you have such a nice, attractive face." I sighed, patting his cheek and he smirked.

"Damn you are one ugly skank." I heard a new voice with a southern accent drawl and the twang of an arrow. Another man came into view with short brown hair and a beard. He looks strangely familiar.

"Who's this?" He pointed the crossbow towards me.

"Ease up Daryl." I saw T-Dog lower his arm.

"She helped us escape." Rick turned to the man Daryl who lowered his crossbow.

"Need to get you stitched up." He turned back to me.

"May I?" He asked tentatively holding the end of my shirt as I nodded.

He lifted my shirt gently seeing the blood soaked through. He pulled out a needle and thread.

"This is gonna hurt." He looked at me apologetically.

"Here." Glenn came by next to me and gave me his hand to hold.

"Heyyy Glenn." I slurred feeling like I was going to slip into unconsciousness. I groaned in pain when a few minutes later Rick finished pulling my shirt back down.

"What are you guys doing back here?" I asked as Rick and Glenn helped me up so I could get steady on my feet.

"We came back for that duffle bag. It has guns, rifles and ammo. Plenty to defend the whole camp." Rick explained.

"Oh so you found the camp?"

"Yeah, and my family." Rick said slowly eyeing me.

"Oh I'm so happy for you!" I smiled brightly at him. I was honestly glad he found them, he could be with his wife now. Just embarrassed I threw myself at him a minute ago.

"Don't forget the main reason we came here was to find my brother." Daryl spat.

"Your brother?" I asked him.

"Merle," Glenn said uneasily.

"You came to rescue that piece of shit?" I asked incredulously at the group as Daryl came charging towards me. I put my fists up not wanting to back down from his attack. I'll fight him if I have to.

"Woah, woah!" Rick shouted coming between us.

"Let's work together to get those guns, get Merle and get to the camp. So we can get some painkillers in you." He directed the last statement to me.

"You good to walk?" He asked and I nodded.

"Who's letting her come back to camp?" Daryl pointed towards me and I glared.

"I could say the same for your prick brother." I shot back.

"Polaris is coming back with us because we wouldn't be here if she hadn't held off the walkers and let us escape with the truck." Rick said and I looked at him gratefully. Daryl looked at me with an unreadable expression but gave Rick a quick nod.

I followed the men, Rick, Glenn and T-Dog walking ahead as Daryl walked just to the side of me.

"Sorry for what I said earlier." I apologised awkwardly to Daryl. If he's part of their group I don't want to get off to the wrong start. Honestly Merle didn't deserve my apology but I didn't want there to be tensions between us. He seems like an important asset.

"Your brother just said some things to me. Things I wasn't gonna take, so I Uh gave him a right hook." I said glancing to him quickly. He looked at me intently but said nothing just giving me a grunt.

"What did you do that for?" He said harshly.

"He doesn't have the greatest respect for women." I defended and Daryl said nothing.

"You're a real chatterbox." I smile slyly at him from the corner of my eye. Suddenly a Walker came out of nowhere before I had time to get out my knife. I was pushed behind someone and the Walker fell down to the ground with a crunch and an arrow embedded in his head.

"Thanks," my mouth hung open as I looked at Daryl.

"Don't mention it." He said gruffly and walked ahead. We finally reached the building of the department store and walked up the stairs. Glenn with the bolt cutters cut the padlock off and we all piled onto the roof. But no Merle.

"Merle! Merle! No." Daryl started crying and went on his knees looking at something on the floor.

It was a human hand, dripping with blood and a hacksaw next to it.

—

Daryl quickly stuffed the hand into Glenn's backpack and closed the zip.

"That's morbid." I stated resisting the urge to gag.

"Blood trail." I bent down on the floor with Rick beside me.

"Daryl might not want to accept it but he might be dead." I whispered to him as he thought for a moment.

He stood up and started to follow the blood trail the rest of us behind him. We went down the ladder on the side of the building to another block of buildings where there were offices. There were two dead Walkers lying on the floor.

"Had enough in him to take out these two sonabitches." Daryl scoffed scouting the areas. I gave Rick an uneasy look which he returned.

"Any man can pass out from blood loss. No matter how tough he is." We found a kitchen in the building and saw the fire was still burning.

"He cauterised the wound." Rick states seeing the belt on the table top.

"Told you He was tough." Daryl said slightly proudly. To one side there was a smashed window but no sign of Merle.

"I need to go get him." He started marching off towards the window before Rick shoved him back.

"Look I know he's your family. I went through hell tryin' to find mine. I know how you feel but we need to keep a level head, we could check a few blocks but we need those guns." He stared intensely at Daryl.

"I could do that." He nodded. We left the building and reached a couple of streets over to where the tank was completely surrounded by Walkers but the duffle bag was still intact.

"This is a shitty plan Glenn." I scowled seeing no way round.

"You can't do this alone." Rick said lowly making sure no Walker's were heading towards us.

"Me by myself means I can move fast and I won't draw attention. Look Daryl, Polaris and me will be in that alley I first met you in. You and T-Dog will be in the alley two blocks down." Glenn explained.

"Why?" Rick drawled.

"I might not be able to come back the same way. This way I'm covered and afterwards we'll meet back here." He said.

"Are you sure you want me as Daryl's back up?" I asked him uneasily seeing as I could barely stand up straight.

"Your knife and his crossbow are quiet which gives you a sound advantage." Glenn said. Everyone knew the plan and we split up. Glenn, Daryl and me climbed down the ladder and I jumped to the ground with a thud feeling pain jolt in my midsection I held it.

"You good?" Daryl checked. Was that concern I saw?

"Yeah," we waited behind the dumpster as Glenn ran down the alleyway towards the tank.

"Ah shit," I groaned closing my eyes.

"Rick would make a shitty tailor." I lifted the shirt gently seeing some of the stitches open.

"Hey don't you pass out on me." Daryl demanded clicking his fingers in front of me as I fell faint. He sat me down against the dumpster and gave me a gun.

"Cover me from behind." He ordered as I struggled to keep my eyes open. He looked towards the front seeing Glenn grabbing the bag of guns and running back towards us, a horde of corpses aggressively snapping their jaws at him. I stood up quickly and began shooting into the Walkers trying not to hit Glenn.

"Let's go!" Daryl shouted at him helping me to the ladder as we made our way up. Glenn passed the bag to Daryl as we stood on the roof and to the alleyway where T-Dog and Rick were.

"Got it." Glenn grinned at Rick. He smiled and looked at me heavily leaning on Daryl.

"What happened?" His face turned serious seeing the blood leak from my shirt.

"You're a shitty doctor." I grimaced spitting out blood feeling my head spin.

"We need to get back quickly." Glenn took my other arm and draped it around his shoulder with Daryl on the other side as we half ran back to the van they came in. They sat me at the back of the van with Rick and T-Dog as Glenn and Daryl up front sped away back towards their camp.

"Here got some painkillers for you." He rattled the small container with pills. He opened the jar and gave me two to swallow along with some water. A good 10 minutes later I was feeling the effects of it.

"Don't suppose you got spare clothes?" I offered Rick who shook his head with a smile.

"No ma'am." We finally stopped the car as he helped me out of the van it was nearing sundown and we heard gunshots.

"Oh God." Rick said his face looking terrified.

"Go!" Glenn shouted as we followed him back to the camp. I pulled out my knife not knowing what we were about to walk into. We ran through the trees and bushes in the mountains until we came to a clearing and saw the remains of a camp which were overrun by Walkers. Rick, Glenn and T-Dog began shooting them down and Daryl used his crossbow staying close by my side. I stabbed my knife in a few heads and saw Andrea holding a young blonde girl in her hands.

"Andrea?" I asked tentatively as she looked up at me with tear filled eyes.

"You," She said.

"Polaris." I told her as she nodded.

"Keep pressure on that wound." I instructed as she took off her outer shirt and wrapped it around the girl's neck.

"Please help her. My sister." She sobbed uncontrollably.

"Keep it together Andrea." I looked up seeing the other occupied with the Walkers and more people over by an RV.

I lifted the cloth off of the girls neck and sure enough saw a bite wound. I sighed looking at Andrea and pulled out knife.

"No no what are you doing?" She cried gasping in shock. I gently twisted the knife in the base of her neck until she was no longer moving.

"Amy! No!" Andrea said pushing me away.

"I'm sorry. But she was gonna turn." I explained feeling guilty. It's less painful this way, she wouldn't have been able to handle it. I saw the rest of the group had joined me along with a brown haired woman holding Rick's hand and a young boy in front of them. So this must be his family. Morales and his family were there along with a new older woman and a young girl. Another man walked up beside Rick and looked at me intently.

"You killed her!" Andrea accused pointing at me. Before I could defend myself my eyes rolled back and I hit the floor with a thud.

—-

"Oh this is becoming a habit." I groaned waking up inside what seemed to be the RV.

"Let's hope we can break it now." I heard a chuckle seeing the same brown haired woman from the night before stitching up my stomach wound properly.

"Well you seem like you're doing a better job than Rick." I said dryly holding my tongue as I felt the needle go into my skin.

"Sorry I'm almost there." She concentrated before tying it off and wrapping fresh linens around it.

"Thanks Uh?" I prompted her.

"Oh Lori," She smiled.

"My husband told me about you. You saved his life and that's a debt I won't be able to repay. Thank you." She squeezed my hands.

"Well he saved mine first." I chuckled.

"But your welcome. I'm glad he found his family."

"He's trying to convince the rest of the group to let you stay." Lori said uneasily.

"Stay?" I gulped.

"Yeah, after that stunt with Andrea last night, some people aren't feeling safe." She said not meeting my eyes.

"Oh," I said my face falling. That girl got bit, it was the only thing to do in that situation. Why don't they understand? There are some things you need to do, to survive.

"How's it looking?" I asked her hopefully.

"Rick, me, Glenn and Morales want you to stay."

"Hell you even got Dixon on your side." She chuckled and I thought of Daryl who saved my life after I insulted his brother.

"Carol and Sophia are unsure about you. You'll meet them when we go outside." Lori explained taking my dirty clothes and handing me new ones.

"Shane, Andrea and Dale are against you staying."

"That girl Amy you killed, that was Andrea's sister." Lori said slowly like she was talking to a child.

"Oh shit." My fave morphed in horror. I shouldn't have acted so fast, it was just a survival instinct.

"Well I don't want to cause fights in your group." I said taking the clean clothes and getting my backpack.

"Woah hold on there. Polaris is it? You're nowhere near fit to travel by yourself." She steadied me as I stood up.

"So for now you got no choice." She said firmly.

"I'll let you wash up." She said leaving the van. She is surprisingly nice. Well I didn't expect her to be a bitch or anything but I thought I'd hate her, I think I'm just jealous that she has a man like Rick for a husband. Men like that are hard to come by.

I changed into the clothes and brushed my hair, pulling it up into a ponytail and stepped out of the RV into the hot sun.

I looked across the fire in the middle seeing Andrea over the body of her dead sister crying and holding her face. I felt a pang of guilt across my chest.

"Andrea I'm so sorry, she's gone. You gotta let us take her." Lori came over putting a hand on her shoulder. I look over seeing Daryl and Glenn through the dead bodies of Walkers and people into a fire. Rick comes over to Lori who are talking quietly to one another.

"So you're awake," I looked to my side seeing another southern man with thick black hair and hands on his hips studying me.

"Yeah," I said crossing my arms over my chest not liking his tone.

"That was a shitty thing you did." He said following my gaze to look at Andrea.

"What right do you have to judge me?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not judging you darlin' you're dangerous for our group and we need to survive. And there's no way the likes of you is gonna stay here, specially not around the kids." He threatened.

"I just did what had to be done. I'm not proud of it, but that girl was going to turn and you wouldn't have liked the results of that." I held his gaze looking up to see him properly for the first time.

"You've grown comfortable in your camp with your group. You haven't had to survive out there by yourself, scavenging for food hoping you won't be somebody's next meal. Don't you dare talk to me about surviving, you don't know the first thing." I spat out at him walking off towards Glenn just across the camp.

"You ok?" He asked throwing the Walkers into the fire. I looked back at the man I just talked to.

"Oh Just brilliant." I said sarcastically.

"He's a twat." I pointed to the man standing with Rick and Lori.

"Ah you met Shane," Glenn stated.

"He's kinda the leader of the camp."

"Oh great so I not only killed someone's sister but I also insulted the leader. I might as well put a bullet in my head now." I sighed sitting down on the log. Glenn patted my shoulder comfortingly before walking off.

"You were right to do it you know," I heard a gruff voice coming from next to me seeing Daryl clean out his crossbow.

"Sorry?"

"Killin' Amy, she was gunna turn. Somebody needed to do it." I grunted in response.

"You're looking okay," Daryl pointed to my stomach.

"I thought you hated me." I posed the statement to him raising an eyebrow.

"I never said that." He defended.

"What I said about your brother,"

"Merle can be a prick sometimes, don't worry about it, he probably deserved what you did to him. But he didn't deserve to be left on the rooftop by himself." He shrugged.

"I know, I'm sorry we didn't find him." I said apologetically.

"Don't worry, toughest bastard I ever met." He said assuring himself.

"Shane can be a prick too." He finished walking off leaving me to grin. I looked over to Andrea who was still holding her sisters body. I felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt, maybe I acted too rashly, I should've waited. I stood up to go talk to her before I felt a gentle arm pull me back. I looked up to the owner and was pulled in once again by those blue eyes.

"Maybe not now." He said stopping me.

"I just feel so guilty right now. Like I acted too quickly but It was the only thing I could think to do." I said looking at my feet shuffling together.

"I know," He said emphasising his point.

"But not now." He said making sure I understood. I looked over to where Lori and Shane were talking and Lori looked at me curiously. I lifted Ricks hand off of my arm and took a step back.

"Your wife fixed me up pretty good. I think I should just get out of your hair when my stomach's better." I said walking off.

"You're wrong." I turned around as Rick took his hat off and smoothed down those curly locks of his.

"You saved my life. And you have every right to be here, you're one of us now." I smiled looking at the ground.

"That's sweet. But try convincing the others of that. I acted pretty recklessly according to Shane, he doesn't seem to think I'm safe to be around." I shrugged.

"You gotta understand," He said in a low voice.

"We don't kill people, there's a distinction between us and the dead."

"You don't think I know that?" I whispered harshly.

"I've seen what happens and it's not pretty, it's not nice. It just breaks your heart. You may not understand why I did what I did but I had my reasons. And I do feel sorry about it."

A little upset that Rick didn't understand but he hadn't been out there as long as I had. He'd soon see. I thought to myself walking away from Rick.

I walked a little past the camp until I got to the lake by the rock quarry and sat down looking at the sky blue water. Taking my boots off I dipped my toes in the cool water and sat there remembering.

"Come on Pol, you came here to find a cure. Dr Jenner's working on that." Raul said opposite me leading me down the corridors.

"Does Dr Jenner also know that I'm part of the team that caused the outbreak?" I said incredulously. I had just flown in from Washington to Atlanta as it was the closest functioning CDC facility.

"Uh I thought I'd leave that up to you." He grinned nervously.

"Look Pol it wasn't your fault directly, but you're the most senior research scientist I could contact. Everyone else is.." he trailed off.

"We thought we had developed a new treatment for HIV. We used an aggressive viral strain to combat it. You know fight fire with fire." I explained.

"But Jones got contaminated. And, well you know the rest." I said feeling overwhelmed. The D.C facility shut down and Atlanta was already being evacuated due an unknown virus which was causing 'human rabies'. This morning on the news a Russian Airline was taken down and the word zombie was being thrown around.

"Please evacuate the building. Zone 5 is being shut down I repeat Zone 5 is being shut down." The automated voice said over the speaker and I looked at Raul.

"Isn't That where Dr Jenner is?" I asked horrified. He nodded wordlessly as everyone started sprinting for the exit of the building

I snapped out of my thoughts. That was 6 months ago. The outbreak of the virus, all my fault, if I tell the others that they'll kick me out for sure. No. They don't need to know.

"Hey," I heard a gruff voice and looked up behind me seeing Shane stand there with sunglasses on.

"What do you want?" I sighed.

"Rick wanted me to come get you." He said reluctantly hands on his hips. I took my feet out of the water and put socks back on them lacing my boots up.

"Why?" I asked him shielding my eyes from the sun.

"We're going to the CDC." Shane watched me trying to see a reaction and I tried not to gulp.

"Rick thinks that it's our best chance, since the military were on the front lines of this thing when it happened."

"But you don't agree?"

"There's a lot of things Rick says I don't agree with." Shane said walking off as I followed him. We walked up the quarry and saw Rick begin to dig graves for the fallen members of the camp. Shane and I each picked up a shovel and started to help.

"Say it." I looked at Rick who was talking to Shane.

"Okay. I'm thinking if you'd of stayed here, if you'd have looked after your own… Instead you went off. You took half our manpower with you. I'm thinking maybe our losses wouldn't have been so bad." Shane explained pushing the shovel and swinging the dirt over his head. I bit my lip, it's not my place to say.

"If we hadn't gone off and brought those guns back when we did, I think our losses would have been a lot worse. Maybe the entire camp." Rick grunted digging further into the ground.

"I think we need to take a moment to think about what we're doing instead of jumping to conclusions guns blazing." Shane said eyeing me with caution. I felt rage build up inside. That's a dig at me, I have to stay calm.

"What's happened has happened. It's in the past and we need to move on if we're gonna survive." Rick looked between us as I gripped the shovel hard.

"I still think we should burn the bodies. There needs to be some rules." Daryl jumped off a truck with his crossbow and came towards us.

"There are no rules." Rick stated as I moved over to his side to dig the grave deeper. I looked at my knuckles which were red and my stomach started hurting.

"Well that's a problem. We need time to bury our people and mourn our dead." A new voice came up over the hill and I watched as Lori stood with her hands on her hips.

"And you," she narrowed her eyes at me.

"What are you doing with that shovel? I just stitched you up! No labour until it's healed." She ordered. I opened my mouth and wordlessly looked at Rick who smirked.

"You heard her." He smiled and I dropped the shovel walking with Lori back to camp.

"You don't have to do this you know." I said sighing looking up at her.

"Pretending to like me for Rick's sake."

"Oh honey," Lori said stopping to look down at me.

"I'm not pretending for my husband. I think you've been on your own for so long you forgot what it was like for people to care about you." She pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes and walked off.

"Damn it." I muttered. It's really hard to hate her, especially when I think I'm starting to like Rick. But she's been so good to me.

Everyone started heading over to the quarry down by the lake and began holding a funeral for the girl Amy. I stood away, I don't think Andrea would want me to be there. I watched from a far as she sobbed lowering her sister down into the ground. Then as soon as it begun, it was over and they started heading back. An older man stopped in front of me and began talking.

"So you must be Polaris. I'm Dale."He said extending his hand.

"Pol will do just fine." I shook his hand and retracted it back resting against the ground. He took a seat next to me as we watched Andrea standing over the grave which Rick and Shane starting filling.

"So you think I'm too dangerous too huh?" I said dryly eyeing Dale. He looked slightly taken aback before chuckling.

"No, I just think you're too reckless."

"Is That why you want me to leave?" I turned to face him.

"I love Andrea like a daughter. Her sister Amy was like a daughter to me and then she got bit. She was gonna die, but don't you think Andrea had the right to do that?" He reasoned with me.

"If you're here to make me feel guilty I've already had enough talks today." I started to get up. More judgemental people in this group but I don't think I'm getting them to like me.

"No please. I'm sorry, sit." I patted the seat next to him and I sat down with a huff.

"Despite that, I know why you did what you did." I looked up at him in shock, he actually understood.

"And I gave it some thought. I think you'd be a valuable asset to the group. I saw the way you handled those Walker's last night and we need more of it." He got up and gave me a wry smile leaving me in shock.

I headed back to the camp where Lori and Rick were talking closely and a young boy. So this must be their son. Rick and Lori went off holding hands into a tent and the young boy ran off playing with the girl.

"Here are your clothes," I looked up seeing an older woman putting a pile of clothes into my arms without looking into my eyes.

"Thanks," I said as she was walking off.

"Hey I'm Polaris." I smiled at her hopefully trying to get more people on my side. I gently pulled her arm back So she'd look at me.

"Look I know, that you might think I'm dangerous but I've only done the things I've done until now to survive." I explained.

"I heard your husband died. I'm sorry." I said sympathetically.

"I'm not. I'm Carol." She gave the briefest of smiles before walking off. I walked into the RV seeing the man Jim the one who was not writhing on the floor. Carol was beside him and I ran towards her trying to calm him down.

"Is he okay?" I said after he had calmed down. I bent down on the other side whilst Carol checked his forehead.

"His fever's worse." She said.

"You need anything?" I turned around at Lori's question seeing Rick and Shane standing behind her.

"Uh could use some water." He said clearing his throat.

Lori and Carol left the RV leaving Rick to take her place on the other side of the or Jim. I dipped a flannel in water and began wiping his forehead gently.

"Thank you," He said to me. I smiled in response.

"You save a grave for me yet?" He asked Rick who looked down.

"No one wants that. What I want is to get you some help." Rick explained his eyes boring into Jim's.

"I've got a pretty british girl taking care of me. I got all the help I need." Jim winked at me and I blushed laughing. Rick cracked a wide smile looking at me intensely before I turned away. Jim started groaning and I sat him up leaning him forward. Rick got some water from Lori and brought it to Jim.

"Sit tight." He patted his arm and walked off. I kissed Jim on the forehead and flashed him a smile following Rick outside the RV.

"So what's the plan man? Are we leaving or not?" Shane asked him as we stood in a group.

"We can't stay here." Rick argued.

"I was just tellin' Shane here we should trust your gut." She nodded firmly at him.

"What do you think?" Rick turned to me.

"Why are you asking her what she thinks man? It's about us." Shane defended.

"Whether you like it or not, she's becoming part of our group and her opinion is going to matter." Rick defended.

"I agree, what do you think Pol?" Lori asked staring intently.

I can't go back to the CDC. Not after what happened last time, this whole thing, I was responsible for it. They're not gonna want me in their group if they find out about it, but I have to think about what's best.

"I think the CDC is your best shot. Our best shot. They might also have supplies we need, maybe even some answers. But it will be dangerous." I said decisively.

"Dangerous? More people will die." Shane scoffed.

"Come on let's do our forest sweep." Shane gestured to Rick and both of them walked off each with rifles in hand.

"What a twat is he always like that?" I complained to Lori who laughed.

"I think that's the most British thing I've ever hear someone say." She smiled.

"Yes he's like that most of the time. Shane's not quick to trust but underneath that he's got a good heart." She said thoughtfully. Was there something between them?

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