Episode 5

Adrian

I spent the day in a hotel after I saw Sarah at the traffic light. I can't believe she's living like this; that elegant, beautiful, well-put-together, and intelligent woman simply vanished.

I couldn't get her out of my mind, and especially Brianna. My mother called me many times; she probably already knows about our argument.

I was having dinner in my room when my detective sent me an email. Everything was there, everything I needed to know about Sarah.

I'm furious to see that there was never any other man, and best of all, the child she's expecting is mine. I don't know if this is good or bad; what torments me now is why she lied.

I have so many unanswered questions. I can't believe this child is mine, my child. I always wanted to be a father, but I focused on my work and left that desire for the right time. Maybe I didn't realize the time had come.

I paced back and forth, reread the report. Sarah was fired from a job when she got here; she was still on probation, spent two months there, and was fired in the third. She couldn't work. I don't even like to think about what she went through. I also read that she tried to work in a bar and was harassed by the owner; his wife didn't believe her and didn't hire her.

She now lives in a studio apartment, at address **********, single, no relatives, and is helped by some neighbors.

I don't know what came over me; I grabbed the car keys and drove to the address in the report.

It was a dark street, but there were some children playing ball in the street. I stopped the car, called a little boy, and he came running to me.

Adrian: Hello, do you know a Sarah?

Little Boy: Aunt Sarah with the big belly?....he says, smiling

Adrian: She's pregnant, I think that's her.

Little Boy: She lives over there.

Adrian: Thank you, you can go back to playing. Be careful in the street.

He runs off. I went to the place, looked for the number, and knocked on the door since there was no doorbell.

I knocked twice; no one answered or opened. When I was about to knock again, the door opened, and there she was.

Sarah

I was putting some savory pies in the oven when someone knocked on the door. I kept putting them in; I couldn't stop. I went to answer after I finished and was startled to see who it was.

We looked at each other for a few seconds. I couldn't believe he was here.

Adrian: We need to talk.

He seemed impatient and serious.

Sarah: I... I have nothing to talk to you about.

Damn it!! I had to stutter and lose my composure.

Adrian: Let me in. I believe you know what this is about.

He looks at my belly, sending me into a panic. I didn't know what to say. I made room for him, and he came in.

Adrian

I observed the place where she's living. It's... tiny, but very clean and organized. It doesn't surprise me; Sarah was always organized.

I sit on the sofa. She closes the door and doesn't look at me, but I didn't need her to; I knew she was scared.

I smelled something delicious. Sarah and her culinary skills.

I just couldn't look at him. I sat on the end of the sofa and waited for him to start.

Adrian: Do you want to tell me something, Sarah?

Sarah: No.

Adrian: Are you sure?

Sarah: I have nothing to say.

Adrian: Not even about our child? Why did you hide him from me? Why did you lie? I know there's no other man, you never cheated on me, this child is mine, you lied.

I pace back and forth looking at her. I was nervous. She remains silent and starts to cry, leaving me more confused than I already was.

I went to her, knelt down, and looked at her.

Adrian: Hey Sarah, I need you to answer my questions. I need the answers. Damn, I know I messed up from the beginning with you by hiding that I was engaged, but I need you to be honest.

Sarah: You already have the answers, Adrian.

Adrian: Why did you hide your pregnancy from me?

Sarah: The answer is quite obvious.

Adrian: I want to hear your side.

Sarah: I was going to tell you. I was going to wait for you to come see me at my place after work, but I couldn't wait and wanted to tell you that very day in your office. But then you called me into your office....I pause, swallowing a sob.....y-you said that was the end, that you were ending our "affair." I couldn't say anything.

I get so angry with myself. I always had a soft spot for her; I didn't want to push her away, but I think I did just that by treating it all as an "affair."

Sarah: On your wedding day, I thought it was time to leave. I went back to Brazil. It was better that way. My belly would grow, and I would have to step away from work; you would find out.

Adrian: Did you develop feelings, Sarah?

Sarah: ....

Adrian: Answer me.

Sarah: I need to turn off the oven.

She went to the kitchen, avoiding the question. Even though I already suspected, I wanted to hear it from her. She takes something out of the oven. I'm not managing to process all of this inside me; I can't understand this racing heart and this nervousness.

I ran from his question like a coward. That's right. I'm not ready to see him smirking at me. I was a fool; I fell madly in love with this man, and now I'm at a dead end.

Adrian: Sarah, you can't run away.

I've had enough!!

Sarah: What do you want to know, Adrian? If I developed feelings like an idiot? Yes, I did. I fell in love with you. You kicked me to the curb, and I ran away. I couldn't bear to see you get married, knowing I'd be raising my child alone. Yes, I developed feelings. I'm sorry for that, Mr. Adrian. I don't control my feelings, my heart. But there's nothing to worry about. That feeling is dead. I... I don't feel anything for you anymore. It was fleeting. You can live your life peacefully because my son and I won't bother you.

I said everything that was stuck in my throat. I waited for him to laugh. I got nervous and held onto the chair, feeling dizzy.

Adrian was pacing back and forth. I turned my back, not having the courage to see him mistreat me.

Damn it, how am I supposed to act knowing Sarah fell in love with me? Why is this feeling so horrible when I hear her say she doesn't feel anything for me anymore? Did I want her to? Did I develop feelings for her too, or was it just attraction? Damn it.

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