Well, I’m doing it. I’m typing up my ‘report’. My ‘account’ of the Games, just like Grey always does.
I’m not sure why. Maybe to try and understand his headspace a little better. To try and see just what he’s been getting out of it.
Where should I start?
I guess I should start with my ‘big decision’. The decision to share with Grey my secret. The fact that my elder brother once took part in these very games himself.
…I’m still not sure if this was a smart move. I guess time will tell.
Grey just stared at me when I told him. Back in the blue room. He cocked his head, eyebrows furrowed, and I hated in that moment just how much he reminded me of my late husband.
“What?” he asked me. “Blue, your brother… He’s PLAYED these games?”
I nodded. “Yes”, I said to him. “That’s right. I didn’t say anything because it makes me sound incredibly suspicious. I didn’t… ugh. I didn’t want to risk turning everyone against me”.
“Are you kidding?” he said, frustration at the edge of his voice. “Blue, if you’d told us this at the beginning… Wait, wait-” he ran his hands through his hair. “So, have you KNOWN what each room was going to be, before we entered it?”
I sighed, and responded. “…Yeah. I did. Pretty much. You know the way you document what’s happened in every room? When we reach the computers?”
He nodded.
“Well, my brother did something similar. Though, he wasn’t quite as detailed as you, from what I’ve seen of your writing. But he still got across the gist. And his documents found their way to me”.
“That’s insane. I don’t believe this”, Grey began to pace up and down. “So the things we write DO get sent out… People DO read them… You could have told us! You could have told us all ABOUT this place! You could have shared what was going to happen next! We could have prepared! Yellow might have-”
“Yellow might have WHAT?” I interrupted suddenly.
“Lived? How, Grey? Even if I’d told you exactly what was going to happen next, then how would that have saved her? …And to tell the truth, the yellow room was actually the only one I didn’t know in advance.
For whatever reason, my brother didn’t document the game in that one particularly well. He basically just wrote ‘claustrophobia’, if memory serves”.
Grey hesitated. He moved on to another point. “…In the first room. The red room. You came down into the pool with me”.
“Yeah”, I replied. “I knew that there was nothing dangerous down there”.
He grimaced. “I thought you were just being kind…”
“Why couldn’t it be both?” I asked him.
“You could have gone down first… Why did you make me go down before you?”
“I already told you, I couldn’t arouse suspicion so early on, everyone would have turned against me!” I stepped up and grabbed him by the shoulders.
“Grey, please, don’t hate me for this. I had to put myself first, don’t you understand? It just makes sense!”
“…It makes sense”, he repeated quietly, lost momentarily in thought. He sighed. “I don’t blame you. But I don’t think that your approach is going to get us out of here”.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked him, “Grey-”
“So, do you know what’s going to happen next?” he interrupted. “In the next room, do you know what’s going to happen?”
I nodded. “I believe I do, yes. It’s some kind of… rapids. Someone’s going to have to grab the cards from the ceiling as we pass, and if we don’t get them… I don’t think we get another chance”.
Grey rubbed his jaw. “Rapids… This is insane…” he murmured.
“Your brother… Was he one of eight colours? Were there eight players? They played the same games?”
“They played the same games, I believe. There may have been some slight variance. But he was one of eight colours, yes”.
“And did he… Did he win, Blue? Did he escape?”
I composed myself.
“…The report from the indigo room was the final one I received. I didn’t get any more. I don’t know what might be in the violet room, or beyond. And that document was the last piece of correspondence I ever received from him. This was two years ago. I haven’t seen him since”.
“Did they lose any of their players? Did they figure out what the grey player was for?”
I shook my head. “No. Or at least if they did lose any of their players, my brother didn’t write about it. He only wrote very sparingly about his team. The reports I read were basically nothing more than brief overviews of each game”.
“And the grey player?”
I gave him an apologetic look. “I don’t even know if there WAS a grey player. I just know that there were eight of them, and that my brother’s colour was the same as mine. Blue”.
Grey regarded me.
“…I’ve been searching for the Drowned Man games for a long time, Grey”, I told him. Fearful of the judgemental silence.
“And now, I guess, I finally got what I was looking for. I don’t know who the Asura is. I don’t know where we are. Honesty, I really don’t know that much more than yourself”.
He sighed, and glanced to the timer. “Come on”, he said. “I think we’d better get out of here. I won’t tell anyone your secret, but… you really should consider telling them yourself”.
“Perhaps”, I told him. “Maybe”. And we set off side by side through the open doorway, and down the corridor to the next room.
“So you wanted to find out what happened to your brother?” he asked, as we walked.
“Yeah”, I replied.
“Do you think that’s why you got ‘chosen’?”
“I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve been going around advertising myself, or anything. I never planned to actually take part. This is Hell”.
Grey gave me one last look. I could practically see the gears turning behind his eyes… then we separated as we joined the others, and he wearily sat down at his computer. He reached up for a quick stretch, ran a hand across his forehead, then, after a pause, began to type.
Writing up his account of the previous room, I should think. Writing about me too, I guess. I watched him over his shoulder in one of the previous rooms. He’s not half-bad. A bit wordy, maybe, but easy enough to read, I suppose.
I wondered if maybe I should write up my own account. With more detail. Like Grey does.
…I didn’t, though. Not at that point. At that moment, I chose to do what I’d done in all of the previous. To write up a list of current thoughts, and to emulate my brother. Simply noting down important facts and relevant pieces of information in case they might help somebody else someday.
I thought about the new intel I’d received, from Grey.
Grey saw a kid in the vent.
Some young kid, watching him from behind the bars in the dark.
This information unnerved me greatly. It still does. My brother never shared any accounts of kids in the games. He never saw anyone in the vents. At least, I don’t think he did. Who are they? An escapee from another, simultaneous set of games, perhaps? The implications are worrying.
… It couldn’t have been Red’s nephew, could it? Surely not.
I typed up my report as quickly as I could, then went to join the others.
Indigo was still typing, and I was glad for it. The man repulses me, now. I don’t want to be anywhere near him. The way he said those words… ‘I was… friends… with your brother’… Still makes me shiver with disgust. My brother was not a good man.
He did some terrible things… But he was my brother. My brother; I loved him. And besides, he paid the price, did he not? Since I’m almost certain he met his gristly end down here in the Drowned Man Games. In whatever horror lies in the violet room.
I owe Indigo no such allegiance. He might pretend he has ‘left that crowd behind’… But people like him never really change. They are unable.
I hope he dies down here too.
“Blue?” came a voice. I looked up. It was Orange. She gave me a half-smile. “Are you okay? You look anxious”.
This caught Violet’s attention, and she looked over at me to see if it was true.
“I’m fine”, I replied. “But, thank you”.
Orange looked terrible. Her face was streaked with silent tears.
We regarded each other for a moment, and unspoken sympathy passed from I to her.
Of course. Her husband…
“How could he do that to me, Blue?” Orange whispered. “He was my beloved. How could he?”
I had no answer for her. “I’m so sorry”, was all I could manage.
“Two rooms to go then”, Red said loudly, clapping his hands, tone-deaf. Or, perhaps, doing his best to change the subject, a more charitable person might say. “And we have the Asura on the back foot”.
“Yeah, not so sure about that one…” Green muttered, rolling up his sleeves.
“And besides, we don’t know if there are only two rooms left”, said Violet.
“Of course there are only two rooms left. Indigo, and violet. Seven colours of the rainbow. Doesn’t take a genius”.
“Well, what about…” Violet gestured to Grey, still engrossed in his writing.
“Hmm”, Red considered, rubbing his chin. “Yes, I suppose it is possible. Here’s hoping there isn’t an eighth room. I’d find that quite demoralising indeed”.
“Anyone else more scared now than they were at the beginning?” this was Green.
“How so?” Orange asked him, clearing her throat and rubbing her eyes.
“The anticipation. This steadily building tension. I feel like we’re closer to the end, and well, that scares me. We’re building towards something”. He paused.
“You know what I mean?”
“What do you think we’re building towards?” I asked him.
He reached up to adjust his glasses. “I don’t know, exactly… But, I can’t help thinking about the previous rooms. You said that there were a load of dummies at the bottom of the pool, right? The one in the red room? Like corpses… Drowned corpses… The Drowned Man Games… You know what drowning people do, right? They cling to people nearby. In their desperation they cling to whatever they can, to whoever they can, and they end up drowning them as well”.
An uneasy silence passed around the room. Silence, but for Grey’s relentless typing. Lost in a world of his own.
“And there’s another thing”, he licked his teeth, and chewed his tongue. I’ve liked Green since the beginning. He’s a nice guy, and he’s of sound mind. He generally keeps to himself, but he still speaks out when he feels it’s appropriate.
…He unnerved me here, however.
“In the orange room we played a children’s game. A table-tilt ‘roll-the-ball’. We had to navigate the ball through a maze. A labyrinth”.
“That’s right”, said Orange.
“Well, I’ve been thinking. I got the idea in the green room, but, don’t you think the maze corresponds a little with the Games? With the Drowned Man Games as a whole?”
He looked between us.
“How do you mean?” I asked.
“You saw a statue of the Asura at the bottom of the pool in the red room, right Blue?”
I nodded.
“And there was a little miniature statue of the Asura in the table-top game, too. And other stuff as well. There was a pipe. Like in the yellow room. And a rotating circular panel, like the floor in the green room”.
“Hmm… Probably a coincidence”, said Red.
“Yeah, I think it’s a stretch, Green”, said Violet. “Or maybe you’re just starting to lose it. That sh*tty little game in the orange room didn’t have any water in it. It didn’t have any little glass Kancha balls, raining from the ceiling. It’s not like we had to guide the ball around a little miniature phone booth or anything. Our experience really hasn’t been all that similar”.
Green grimaced. He looked to me. I shrugged. Honestly, I think there might be something there, but it’s likely just the Asura toying with us.
“The last part of the ball game”, he said. “At the end of the table… We had to pass beneath a set of scales. Something’s coming, people. And we’re going to be judged”.
He looked down to his hands. Still stained quite clearly with blood. “…And I don’t know if we’re going to pass”.
Red and I made eye contact. He sighed and muttered to himself, untucking a section of his scarf caught in his collar.
The motion caught Green’s attention.
“I’ve been thinking a lot. About lots of stuff”. He gestured to Red’s scarf. “And you know, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that scarf before, Red. Somewhere. But I couldn’t tell you where”.
Red stared at him.
“And you’re only just mentioning this now?” he responded. “Why didn’t you say something earlier?”
“Because that’s all I had to say about it”, Green shrugged. “It was hardly worth mentioning at all. I don’t know. I’m just tired. I want to complete my journey”, he finished, bitterly. “I want to complete my journey across India, as I promised, and go the f*ck home”.
“Pull yourself together, damnit”, Red grunted, shaking his head. “As I said. At least two more rooms to go”.
We sat for a while in silence as the timer ticked down. Physically and mentally exhausted. That last room in particular took a lot out of us. It was worse than I was expecting it to be.
I heard the gentle pops and cracks of Grey’s back as he reclined in his chair and stretched his arms, and at last, the timer reached zero. The screens cut to black, and the indigo door opened wide with a series of clicks, and the sound of metal grinding against metal.
We clambered and shuffled up out of our chairs. Red volunteered- to my surprise- to carry Yellow, and we headed on through into the purple-lit gloom beyond.
The sound of rushing water was immense. It grew louder and louder as we pushed deeper into the room, a room lined with small, shiny black tiles. Water splashed and pooled about our feet with every step, until, with the rushing of the water an almost deafening roar, we arrived at a curious, metal contraption. Cart-like, almost, and just big enough for all eight of us to squeeze in together.
It sat in the centre of a channel of rushing, frothing water, and this water burst from the tiles on either side of the contraption, flowing down in a rapids-like river into the darkness below, twisting violently round to the right and vanishing out of sight into the shadows.
“It’s like a damned water-park ride…” Red murmured, though I could barely hear him over the churn of the water.
The sound triggered memories of the cylinder, and I had to work hard to prevent a sudden rise in second-hand panic.
I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned and, realising it was Indigo, recoiled violently. He looked hurt, but did not comment on my reaction.
“Blue”, he said, “please, let me to talk to you, just for a moment?”
“No”, I replied at once. “No, I have nothing to say to you. I don’t want to hear it”.
And he said nothing further.
A screen flickered into life to our left; we all turned to it. The stony, beast-like face of the Asura appeared upon it, beside a diagram of the cart.
“This bastard again…” Red grunted.
“Welcome to the indigo room”, came the voice of the stone man. “Before you is the cart. You will notice there are three rows. The third row, the row at the back, has space for two players. These will be the violet and indigo players. The second row, the one in the middle, has space for three players. These will be the blue, yellow, and orange players”.
The diagram on screen was steadily filled with 3D graphics of single-block coloured ‘people’, all sitting in their correct, respective places.
“The first row, the row at the front, has space for one player seated on the left. This will be the red player, and the red player will control the cart’s tilt in that direction”.
“Eh? Tilt? What does he mean by that?” Red asked all of a sudden, looking between us. The 3D graphic on screen showed the red person pulling a lever before him, and the cart tilting to his side.
“The first row has also a space for one player, seated on the right. This will be the green player, and the green player will control the cart’s tilt in that direction”.
Green watched in silence as his accompanying 3D graphic pulled his own lever, and the cart tilted back to the opposite side, towards the right.
“The front row has also space in the centre, for one player to stand. They will be connected round the ankles. This will be the white player, and the white player will be responsible for collecting the cards”.
“Well, I guess we’ve found my purpose then”, Grey said drily.
...Or ‘White’, I suppose we should all be calling him. Still, no point now in changing it up.
“The location of the colours cannot be changed, unless the red, green, or white players are no longer active in the game. In this instance, replacements for the respective player may be decided by the group. You will find that there is no timer in this room. However, the cart will not return to the beginning. There are, as in all previous rooms, eight cards. You will find them hanging from the ceiling. Thank you. Please enjoy the game”.
And with that, the screen cut off.
We listened for a moment to the sounds of the rushing rapids.
“So you’re telling me that I’m supposed to stand on that thing?” Grey asked the room. “As it hurtles its way down the river?”
“It’s on some kind of a rail, see? That’s how Red and I will be controlling the tilt”, Green replied.
“That doesn’t make me feel a whole lot better”.
“No, but still, at least you aren’t just at the mercy of the water”.
“So it sounds like this room is up to you three, then”, said Violet. “You two to steer, and Grey to grab the cards. F*ck. So what if you miss one?”
“If I miss one…” Grey said back, slowly, thinking, “then I think… I think that’s too bad. The Asura made it sound like we don’t get a second chance”.
I already knew this, of course. But still. The weight of this truth is heavy upon our shoulders.
“…Well, I guess you’d better not miss any then”, I said weakly.
“Yeah”, he replied, looking at me. “I guess not”.
Why did we call this man ‘Grey’? Now that it’s been spoken out loud by the Asura, his paint really does look a great deal more ‘white’ than it does ‘grey’…
…Maybe it was his eyes. Bright and grey, and tinged with just a flicker of silver.
I looked away.
“No time like the present then”, Red muttered. “Sh*t. Sh*t”.
“Don’t f*ck it up”, Violet said to him, her voice wavering. “I’m serious. Especially you”, she pointed to Grey. “We’re all counting on you, here. We NEED you to get those cards. If you start missing them then people are going to die. They’re going to die like Yellow did. Grey, please. You HAVE to get those cards”.
“Yeah”, he replied, grimacing, looking coldly from her to the cart. “Yeah, I got it”.
“…I got it”.
…
We moved ourselves into the bizarre contraption. Grey went first, jumping from the tile to the metal machine amidst the rushing water, then he held out his hand and one by one helped across all the others.
Once we were all in place, he climbed up onto his spot, shaking, and with an exchanged glance between them, Red and Green fastened the straps around his ankles.
They looked incredibly precarious.
There was a whirr, and a mechanical crunch, and bars came down over the final two rows, holding us passengers in place.
“Hey, Grey”, I said to the man, and he turned to look down at me, putting out his arms to stop a sudden wobble. “I can hold your leg. Orange, you can hold his other”.
“Right”, she said. “Yes, good idea. It might help, just a little”.
“How do you feel up there?” Green asked him.
Grey let out a quick, anxious laugh. “Yeah… yeah I’m… I’m good”.
There was another sound, at that moment. Like a buzzer.
It was loud and obnoxious.
It rang out once, then twice… and then, for a third time.
And the cart juddered, Grey threw out his arms once again as it began to move. Trundling its way down the rail, the spray of the water splashing up against us.
“Here we go then mate!” Green called out, “hang tight everyone! This is it!”
And sure enough, the cart dipped down, and we began to descend.
Faster, and then faster, the feel of the spray growing sharper as we are hauled around the corner.
“F*CK!” Grey shouted out, his arms flailing as Orange and I tightened our grips around his legs.
The air began to barrel back into our faces as our descent grew steeper still; faster, and faster, speeding down, down through the dark; the black, wet-tiled walls a tunnel all around, shooting right past us.
“THERE!” shouted Red. “There’s one right there ahead! To me!”
The cart juddered to the left, then to the right.
“NO, GREEN! DON’T TOUCH THE CONTROLS!” Red shouted, “JUST ME!”
Poor Grey was thrown from side to side as the cart rocked, until it was tipped decisively towards the left.
“NOW!” Red bellowed, and Grey threw out his left hand, reaching for the card… The card dangling simply from a string and attached to the ceiling…
…And he snatched it.
“YES!” came the burst of glee from around the cart.
Okay, so far so good. One down, one down…
I fully expected Grey to bring the card up to his collar. To slot the thing into place and to guarantee his safety. After all, why wouldn’t he? It’s the logical thing to do. And he’s always near the back of the pack. This could be his only chance to get the ‘first’ card. It would be his right to do so, I wouldn’t have blamed him for it…
…But to my complete and utter surprise… he did not.
Instead he passed it down, to Red.
“Take it!” he shouted. “Take the card!”
Red was as dumbstruck as myself. “Wh-what? Are you mad?”
“TAKE IT!” Grey commanded, and Red did as he was ordered as the rest of us watched in shock.
Red brought the card up to his collar, slotted it into the groove. It beeped, and chimed.
“Why..?” I couldn’t help but murmur aloud. I exchanged a look with Orange. “Why would he do that…?”
The cart powered on through the tunnel and the water rushed and splashed up against the sides.
Green pulled on his lever and the cart was returned to the rough centre. I could feel the muscles in Grey’s leg, tensed to the extreme.
“I can see another one”, he said, and I peered around him, up towards the tunnel’s ceiling. Yes, sure enough, there was another card just dangling there, in the dead centre. Approaching fast.
“Keep it level!” Grey called to the men on either side. “I HAVE IT!”
He reached up, and he grabbed it. Snagging it from the string as the cart hurtled around the next corner through the water and the dark.
Orange reached a hand up to her forehead, trembling badly.
“Two down”, I said to her. “Two down. Five to go”.
And again, Grey chose not to use the card on himself. As with before he reached down, this time to his right. “Green, take it!”
Green did not argue. Bewildered, he accepted the card, and slotted it into his collar with a beep and a chime.
“Why are you doing this?” I shouted up to Grey as we sped madly along. “Why wouldn’t you just use the card on yourself!”
“Rainbow door needs seven keys”, he shouted back.
“You guys need your keys more than me if we all want to escape”.
“But you don’t KNOW that! You- you said yourself, your key might have some secret importance! And hell, you won’t get to pass through the final door with us ANYWAY if you don’t get your own collar deactivated!” I called up to him, frustrated and confused.
“Don’t you get that what you’re doing doesn’t make SENSE? It isn’t RATIONAL, GREY!”
“I KNOW!” he shouted back to me over the rushing, streaming rapids. Flashing me a quick, uneasy grin. “And yet, I’m doing it anyway! Crazy, huh!”
I shook my head, still staring up at him. I didn’t know then why his behaviour bothered me so much.
After all, it was benefiting me… But it just… it angered me. This went against everything I was taught growing up. It didn’t fit the narrative. I always try to be altruistic, sure, but this is DIFFERENT.
Our LIVES are on the line, and self-preservation HAS to come first… It’s the ONLY sound, rational approach…
The cart suddenly dropped and my stomach lurched. Grey wavered where he stood before regaining his balance.
“Third card coming up!” Red shouted.
Green pulled his lever, bringing the cart over to the right…
…Grey reached up, his arm going wide…
…And he missed.
There was a collective intake of sharp breath as the card was left dangling, vanishing into the shadows behind us.
“F*CK!” Red shouted.
Grey paled, swivelling round to watch the card disappear behind.
“GREY THAT WAS ALL WE CAN AFFORD!” Violet shouted to him from the back of the cart. “You can’t miss ANY MORE! Not a single ONE! Or someone else is going to DIE!”
My heart hammered painfully in my chest.
He cannot miss a single one, from now. Or she’s right. Someone else is going to die.
I stared up at him, my teeth clenched.
Will you keep to your principles now, Grey? What will you do if you miss another…?
The cart tore through the darkness. The darkness of the Drowned Man Games.
Red and Green were militant in their focus from here on out. Angling the cart with a newfound, iron precision.
The next card approached.
Hurtling towards us.
Grey reached up.
…And he grabbed it.
He didn’t even hesitate. He made the foolish, irrational decision to pass it back, to me. I took it, meeting his eyes for the briefest of moments, and raised it up to my collar, slotting it into the groove with a beep, and a chime.
Round corner after corner, bend after the bend rode the cart on its submerged rails, the water jumping and striking and splashing against the sides of our bodies, our faces…
The cards kept coming, and each and every time Grey snatched it from the string, passing it back through the cart, instead of taking it for himself.
Orange got hers next.
Then, Indigo.
And then, Violet.
One card left. One player left with an active collar.
Come on, I desperately willed him. Come on, Grey. You can do it. Just one more. Grab this final card. Please. Because if you don’t…
…If you don’t, then you’ll get what you deserve, you mad, selfless idiot.
“HERE IT COMES!” Grey roared into the darkness, a fire in his voice.
“OVER TO ME!” Green shouted, and Red obeyed at once, removing his hands from the lever and allowing Green to angle the cart to the right.
Closer, came the card.
The last card, strung up to the ceiling.
Grey drew himself up to his full height, he reached out…
…
…and he grabbed it. He tugged the card from its position and pulled it from the string, gripping it tightly in his hand.
A great gasp of relief escaped my throat, and an enormous, collective easing of tension passed through the group.
He brought the card up to his collar and slotted it into the groove.
It beeped, and it chimed.
The waters of the rapids began to calm, from this point. We stopped descending and the tunnel levelled out. The cart slowed, gradually at first, but then it became more noticeable.
The air stopped buffeting our faces and blowing in our hair, and at last it came to an uneasy stop at the end of the rail, allowing the water to froth and gush through metal grates in the wall.
The bars keeping us in place all clicked, and rose up of their own accord. Red and Green undid the straps around Grey’s ankles, and Orange and I at last felt confident enough to release his legs, my fingers and wrists aching with the sudden ease in tension.
One by one we clambered from the cart and onto the stability of the tiled platform besides us, adjacent to the streaming, underground river. Red carried Yellow across, and last was Grey. I reached out a hand to him, and he took it, and I helped to haul him over onto the tile, his legs still shaking.
There was a door beside us, one marked with violet paint.
This is it, I thought, my relief replaced almost instantly with an icy stab of terror. The room my brother was killed in. This is it. I mean, we’ll be led to the computers first, but then… then I have no idea what might lie behind.
As if in response to this thought, the violet door whirred and shuddered, and began to slide its way into the wall, revealing the corridor behind.
“So”, said Red, still holding Yellow’s body under her arms. “Why’d you do it, Grey?”
“Hero complex”, Violet muttered to herself.
“What was that?” I asked her.
She sighed. “…Nothing”.
Grey spread his arms. “Because”, he began, then he opened his mouth as if to say more, pausing to consider his phrasing. “Because I was reminded of some words that somebody told me, recently”. He said.
“And I think… I think I’ve worked out the theme of the games. I could be wrong, but…” he ran a hand through his water-soaked hair. “But I think if we’re going to survive this then we have to work together as a team, in the truest possible sense”.
“We have been”, Red cut in. “We’ve been working as a team from the beginning. We already knew that”.
“But not like this”, Grey replied. “Blue, you said that what I was doing was irrational. I was prioritising others over myself. It made no sense. And yet, I CHOSE to do that ANYWAY. I CHOSE irrationality, deliberately”.
“Why?” I asked him, desperate to understand. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I need you all to see”, he said back. “To see that it is possible to act against one’s own best interests for the good of the wider group, and still benefit”.
Violet shook her head. “You’re talking nonsense”, she said. “And you’re a lunatic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful you got me my card, but… but what you’re saying doesn’t make sense”.
“I know it doesn’t make sense”, Grey replied with a melancholic smile. “That’s my whole point. It didn’t make sense, but I did it ANYWAY. For US. For all of us”.
“And what? Do you want a damned medal?” said Red, but there was no malice in his voice. No passion to his words. He stared at Grey with a bewilderment I don’t think I’ve seen from him thus far.
“What I’m trying to say”, Grey replied, clearly frustrated at his own inability to get across his point… if he can even visualise it himself… “-is that irrationality CAN make sense… but only if we ALL act in the same way. That’s how we’re going to get out of this, I’m sure of it”.
Green and I exchanged a look. We didn’t buy it. I still don’t. And I doubt Red or Violet did either. Orange was difficult to read, and Indigo…
…Well, I have no idea what Indigo is ever thinking. Nor do I want to.
The self must be preserved. That’s the simple, most absolute truth.
The individual comes before anyone else. It’s harsh, but it makes SENSE. Everyone must agree with this, to some extent. Surely. It’s a lesson I learned the hard way growing up.
And in regards to my brother…
…I should have handed my brother over to the police. A long time ago. Way before he ever took part in the Drowned Man Games. I know this. I could have done, and I should have done.
But he was my BROTHER. He was KIND, he looked after me… And he provided for us. If I had betrayed him to the authorities then he would have been taken away. They would have hanged him. I would have been left alone. Dumped somewhere like Violet was. I had to preserve myself, and him. It was just the rational choice.
Grey looked between us, hopeful, but wary of the reactions from the group. He looked to Orange. He hesitated, made as if to speak… Then changed his mind.
“Come on”, he said at last, with a sigh. “Another room down. Let’s do this”. And away he went through the corridor.
Behind went Green, and Red, with Yellow.
Then Orange, then Violet.
“…If I could take it back, Blue”, Indigo said to me as we walked, “then I would. I would take all of it back. I’m not so different to your brother, you know”.
“I don’t want to hear it”.
“And he was worse, Blue”.
“I said, I don’t want to hear it”.
“I don’t deserve to escape from here”, he said quietly. “This is what I have decided. And if I am given a chance in the next room to save another over myself, as Grey did, then I’ll take it, I swear”.
“I don’t care, Indigo”, I told him, as we watched the others begin to settle down at their computers. “I can tell you now, I won’t be doing the same. And certainly not for yourself”.
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Updated 15 Episodes
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