I’m sorry, Yuki, Hiiragi, and Shizsumi...

“I’m not lonely” I tell myself that, but really I’m not sure. I have friends, but do they know me? The real me? I’m not sure, but there is one person that might know me, the real me. He listens to me, he talks to me, he understands me. When my guitar string snapped I thought it could never be replaced, I thought that my guitar was broken. But then Uenoyama came, he fixed my guitar strings and strummed them, hard. Sometimes I think that a guitar is like a heart. It can break and you think that it can never be fixed, but then someone will come along and fix it. Just like Uenoyama fixed my guitar and heart. That night when we performed our first concert as a band together, I sung about heartbreak, about my heartbreak; about Yuki. When we finished Uenoyama took me backstage and told me I did well, so well. Right in that moment I realized “I’m not lonely, I’m having fun.” While Uenoyama went back on stage to perform for the rest of the concert with Haruki and Akihiko, I stood there crying. I felt my tears on my hands, they were warm and I could feel the pain and sadness that I’ve been keeping inside me. “Just like how everyone laughs and cries, I just can’t do it well. I think I’m really bad at expressing myself compared to everyone else. But in reality, even if I really wanted to cry, I can’t cry properly, and it hurts so bad... It hurts so much that I just want to scream.” I was finally able to cry, I was happy! Yuki I hope your happy, I hope you’re watching me because I’ve found someone new. I’m sorry, Yuki. That day the words that should’ve never been said, were said, by me. “Are you willing to die for me, then?” That’s what I said to you, I would never forget. How could I? I basically killed you, it’s my fault. I’m sorry, Yuki. Are you happy that I’ve moved on, Hiiragi? I’m sorry, I took Yuki away from you. I tried to run away from you and Shizusumi, I tried running away from my problems. But we ended up crossing paths anyways, and even though we did I still tried to run away from my past. Did you enjoy my performance at least? Did it remind you of him? I’m sorry, Hiiragi and Shizsumi. Do you think it was my fault? Do you blame me for Yuki’s death? Was it my fault? I’ll never know the true answer. Many people say it wasn’t my fault and others say it was my fault. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? I’ll never know and that kills me the most. Where ever I go you’re always with me Yuki, you’re always there. I’m sorry, Yuki, Hiiragi, and Shizusumi...

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