Hoping

"Im sorry for all the things I did, pls Lord guide me. Touch my husband so I could feel his presence, so I could feel that Im not alone, I promise I wont do anything again.. As long as he is with me, I will fight all the temptation as long as he is there for me. Pls Lord help me".

She's praying heartfully after she realize what she is doing is immoral, shes married and have kids to think of, she came here for her family.

The voice in her mind is so strong that its very hard to control, screaming shouting that she is too hypocrite to accept that she like what she did last night.

Talking with her family and kids is one of the times that she need to collect all the good acting she have,the truth everytime she talk to them is like hell. She could see how her parents feel sorry about what happen, and looking at her kids reminds kenjie, she feel selfish because she is concentrated in grieving one while there are still 4 left.

She always feel she's soo bad when she is talking to them. She wanted to cry and tell them she is dying inside but she is afraid to see their reaction so she just collecting all her strength to comfort them tell that everything is all okay. Smiling, laughing at them.

"Kyle where is your dad?" She ask

"mom, he is with his friends, I told lexi to tell him you are calling but he Dont want to go home." kyle replied

Its been 2am so she told them its time to sleep.

"Goodnight kiddos, tell your dad I miss him"

Everytime she call or text her husband always have excuse. She laugh bitterly and feel the sharp pain inside her.

Here it comes again, the pain and the voices in her head rushing! Confusing her what to do, she could feel the hatred in her heart, she hated her husband for not giving her the attention she want to feel. Is she really that bad wife?? Is she really bad!!!!????

The notification tone distract her, she pick it up and her mood automatically change when she saw her husband text. They both ask how everything and talk something else then suddenly.

"You are so dumb! If you Don't know anything to say just eat your dirts!" he said.

Jade stared her phone and read it many times.

"**** you!!!!!" again he text then he was

not online.

She was shock, she know He is drunk but is it right to say those word?? Is it right?

Slowly she could feel the hatred inside her,

"shit! Who are you to say that to me! Since we got married I never felt u care for me! I had given birth to your kids but you never help me at night to take care of them, you never appreciate all my effort but I keep silent. Your my husband and I need to accept who ever you are! But now! You are saying I will eat my poo! Shit! Who am I??? Am I worst to a dog and you want me to eat my poo???

She was too angry that her body is trembling and her head is spinning, its like a dam that flood her, how her husband treat her in the past how he bilittle her, and how he is killing her self confidence.

She hold her head so tight coz she cant control the pain, the pain is too much, it was uncontrolable that she hit the wall with her head that causes her to pass out.

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