Expectations Versus Reality

It is still early but she is already at the Airport, she is a bit scared because it is her first time traveling by air. While her companion is busy chatting with each other she is also caught by her own thoughts about the kids ...only two days but it feels year already.

"Paging miss Jade Francisco... Pls come forward your agent is looking for u". The loud voice from the room wakes her up from sleeping. She is very tired and sleepy waiting there for almost 6 hours after they arrive. They are all hungry and haggard because no one brings food and they don't know what to do. The language is very difficult to understand.

Jade quickly stands up to see her agent and there he is waiting with a wide smile. The man is very tall that she is only level in his chest. The other ladies are also called one by one until all of them are present.

"Hi, I'm Aziz from Abdul-Aziz agency," he said. Jade and the other ladies just nod and follow him to his car.   When she sat down she feels cold and a bit nervous, this is the first time she leaves the Philippines and all are new to her.

On that night in the agency, her employer comes to fetch her. The couple is young and they bring the oldest son with them. She is nervous because the woman looks strict and did not smile the whole time while they are talking.

After signing all the documents they go home. The house is small compare to what she expected. The woman who opens the door is also Filipina that makes her little comfortable. Her madam introduces her and asks her to help Jade and give her food.

The Filipina laughs because she eats like she did not eat for the whole day. She feels shy but admits that she is very hungry because she did not eat since they travel.

2 weeks past and she miss her kids so much, almost every night she's crying silently. She reaches her phone and texts her hubby, but the signal is weak and only a message is sent, so she closes the light and sleeps after sending a long message for them.

With the help of the Filipina, she feels comfortable and slowly learns the most important thing to do and how to operate the machines for washing, cooking, and cleaning. The first days are all mistakes but she is willing to learn and do her job good.

Nights are lonely but she manages to be normal with the lady in the room, she is nice that she becomes her friend.  Days are fast and it is time for the Filipina to go home they cried and hug each other. Her absence makes her quiet and lonely but she is trying her best to be jolly in front of her madam kids. The little girl is a bit hard to handle because she has a very bad temper.

"Jade, here's your salary," her madam said and give her first salary, she was speechless and teary-eyed. She thanked her and smile.

Her madam saw her reaction and leave her alone. She goes to her room and screams silently, raises her hand, and smiles widely.

"This is it!!! For my family ill do everything to give u good life! " she screams without sound and dances for happiness. She counts the money again and saves only 20kd for herself. Tomorrow she will tell her sir to send it to the Philippines.

Early in the morning, she asks her boss to send the money, her sir laugh because she is very hyper. She works the whole day full of energy thinking that tomorrow or the other day her kids will eat a good meal and buy new cloth and toys for her son. The feeling is priceless, it is only a little amount but for her, it is already enough to make them happy. The image of her kids eating in Jollibee makes her smile sweetly. Kids love to eat in that place they are very happy every time they see the mascot.

Since they buy a new phone, they set a time to go to the area that has a good signal so they can video call. Her happiness almost reaches the sky seeing the kids very happy. The phone they have before is not android and they can not video call. And now that they can see their mom in the video they are very happy talking a lot telling her stories. Her son is very proud of showing his new toy. They did not stop until the battery drain.

AFTER TWO DAYS........

She wakes up at 12 am to go to the bathroom, after finishing she open her phone to see if there is a message from her family.

ZEAN IS GONE...

This is the message she read as she opens her inbox after waking up early in the morning. She replied and ask her husband what he means. And again, in big letters, she read the same message...

ZEAN IS GONE...

She feels her head become cold, the news is not yet sinking in her mind but there is fear growing inside of her... So she immediately opens her Facebook and she was shocked, she shouted and cry hysterically.

"Nooooooooooo!!!!!!! Why??" she is asking why her son is wearing a white cloth lying down with many people around him.

She cannot accept the news and quickly pretended it is not her son, she bravely read the comment section but she was on a fire when she read that her son was hit by her cousin's car. Anger arises inside her blaming him for his carelessness.

As she browses her news feeds, all she can see were pics of her baby sleeping peacefully. Her cries echoed in the whole house that her boss wakes up. She was in pain, her head was spinning, her body trembled while her tears are not stopping flowing in her cheeks. The truth can not be fake, the evidence is already in front of her.

"Jade!!!" shouted her sir and knock on the door loudly but Jade is under shock, crying loudly and pass out.

When her boss notices the silence of the room, he opens the door and sees her in the bed, thinking she falls asleep he closes the door again leaving her in her sleep.  He is sure that he heard a loud cry as if the whole world crush her. Does he only dream of that? he asks himself and returns to their room. His wife is still sleeping without knowing that he gets out of bed.

It's 7 am when she wakes up again, Jade grab her phone and call her family, her mom answers the phone with sobs as she repeatedly saying sorry, then she cries louder and said," We did everything but he did not reach the hospital, he died on the way... "and her voice trembled with fear. The fear in her voice is very clear, scared that she will blame them for his death.

Then Jade heard her father's voice, "Jade, we are very sorry," crying very loud, "forgive us." Her father's voice tear her heart, the agony and regret are there, he said that no one knows that Zean is playing at the back of the jeep. It is already late when her cousin notice that something bump in it.

She wanted to shout, cry and blame them, but who is she to do that?  She too leaves her son!

Blocking her mind she assures them that she don't blame them. An accident is always an accident no matter how we prevent it. His life in this world is only short.

Her room becomes cold and dark, her energy was drained,  how can she continue life without her son?

Jade's mind is blowing up, she can't accept her baby died that fast, It's too painful to bear, so painful that she needs to slap her face many times to feel if this is really happening, and her parents begging for her forgiveness shock her more, what kind of mother she is... leaving her very young son?? And now her parents are crying.. begging for her not to hate them for not saving her son...

On that day, they bury her son because he is still young and not allowed to preserve his young body. She already tells her madam and sir what happen and they understand her and give her space to think. They also ask her if she will go home but she is scared. She decided to stay and pretend her son is still alive.

She blocks all the pain she's feeling and assures her parents not to think too much and it's not their fault. She comforts them and hides her own sorrow.

When her mom stops crying she talk to her husband, Joe said that they will bury the baby in the evening... She cried more seeing the baby only in the video for the last time.

It's past 8 in the evening and she needs to cook for the kid's dinner, she washes her face and gets out but she saw her madam and her mother waiting in the living room, she calls her that she obeyed and sat beside her.

"What happens? She asks with a very light tone. After hearing her madam's question, her tears fall fast and cry for a long time, they just patiently waited until she finishes and starts to tell what happens. They mourn with her and assure her that they will understand her and treat her like a member of the family. After hugging her they let Jade rest in her room.

"What to do? he is dead! she is only 1 month here she is not allowed to go back !" her madam mother said angrily in their language. Of course! she is only faking her kindness but the truth is she doesn't care a bit about her feeling.

"Mother that is enough let us give her time, she already assured us that she will not go home," she said pressing her head for the stress. She feels sorry for Jane but she needs a maid to take care of her kids. Either she chooses to go she will not allow it coz she spend a lot just to bring her.

She is thankful that her boss understands her situation, their understanding is already great help for her. She enters the room carrying her feet because she is so weak, after entering she directly fall down in her bed, the picture of her son smiling make her cry again as she opens her phone..... she will never forget this day......the day where part of her was taken away.

She was so tired and the darkness of her room pulling her into a deep sleep but before she closes her eyes, she prayed that all of this is just a dream and tomorrow everything will be back to normal. She is willing to do anything for her son.. just bring him back to her and she will do everything she can to stay with him.

She prayed hard to have a baby boy and now it's gone.....her anger rise...

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